


Rewind

by BeforeSpring



Category: Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video), Monsta X (Band), Shine Forever - Monsta X (Music Video), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: All in MV, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Basically everything bad has happened in this, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Dimension Travel, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, For suicide, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hyungwon is being hunted, Hyungwon's cold af at first, I wanna emphasize that, I'd like to note deaths arent permanent, Kidnapping, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Rebellion sort of, Shine Forever mv too, Shownu just wants the rest of the Clan to chill, Spoiler Alert - Freeform, Suicide, be careful with your triggers please ya'll, except sexual abuse that is NOT in this, idk what else, it's a whole mess, this involves dramarama mv, title may change, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 51,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeforeSpring/pseuds/BeforeSpring
Summary: As a time traveler, Hyungwon can go anywhere, and yet he's stuck trying to save four boys that are destined to die, putting his life on the line as he's hunted down. How far is he willing to go to ensure their safety?This version of the fic is incomplete, and currently being rewritten under the name In Time.





	1. One

He moved like a ghost, Hyungwon. Always alone, always silent, always hidden, passing through dimensions and worlds at ease, as if the barriers didn't exist at all. It was how he survived; being hunted like you were nothing more than prey would do that to you. The stakes were too high for him to risk getting caught. If the Organization tracked him down, it would most likely mean brainwashing, or even death.

This meant making friends, or anything more, wasn't in his cards. He tried his hardest not to associate with anyone any more than a couple times, so he kept humanity at arms length. With a few exceptions, that is.

The fact that he chose this solitude didn't make it any easier. Sure, he wasn't exactly human, at least he hadn't been treated like it, but after having experienced the bustle at the Organization, being alone seemed unfamiliar at best. At first, it seemed like a breath of fresh air. He wasn't ordered around constantly, didn't have to kill innocent people. Not that he was supposed to care about all of that, that wasn't their plan.

Of course, there's flaws in every plan. Something had gone wrong, at least in their eyes, along the way. Maybe it was a malfunction in part of his training, a hole in the brainwashing and conditioning they had put him through. Regardless, after realizing his entire purpose was supposed to be senseless killing, he ran.

No part of it was effortless. Along with the previously mentioned isolation came paranoia, the inability to stay in one place long, and the general frustration with the entire situation that he suppressed as well as he could. Thoughts of those who he'd been ordered to kill plagued his mind, driving him to go through time and worlds saving people. It put him more at risk, more on their map, but he found it worth it. Whenever he saved someone and hid them from the Organization's view there was a temporary sense of relief, redemption even, as if he was paying back a debt. That's what drove him.

Throughout all of this, after saving many lives, he'd stumbled across a specific four. Two, destined to die in a car accident together after the driver lost control of the car, another two to be murdered by government soldiers. At first, it had been easy. Put the first pair on vacation so they never got in the car, divert the other pair from where they had been so they wouldn't be near soldiers, and all was well. Until it wasn't.

If he put the first pair on vacation, their plane would crash, taking even more people with them, or there was a fire in the hotel, or they would drown. For the second pair, well, it wasn't exactly hard to die in their universe. Just looking happy could get you shot. The situation had started driving Hyungwon mad. The fact that he couldn't save them made him try even harder. He got stuck; instead of moving on to other people, he stayed with them, trying over and over to give them lives he believed they deserved, in an impossible loop.

Along the way, he met a man he called Wonho. A tech genius, and an incredibly useful one at that. However, he gave him the nickname Wonho, as working together was risky enough without Hyungwon knowing anything about the other.

With no family, a lacking background, and no real dream, Wonho had agreed to work with Hyungwon. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, to say the least. It had taken a while to get Wonho onboard with the whole time traveling thing, but after a thorough explanation, plenty of experiments, and a lot of disbelieving laughter, he took Hyungwon up on the offer.

With that, the two formed an awkward partnership, and even after working together for years, they knew next to nothing about each other. When given a time traveling watch of his own by Hyungwon, Wonho modified it so it couldn't even be tracked by him himself, and took off exploring timelines and worlds on his own. Eventually, he made friends with Shownu, a sparring teacher with a knack for knowing exactly what kind of mood Wonho was in.

The difference between his best friend and partner was stark. Hyungwon was like walking out of a cozy house into the middle of a harsh winter. Ice cold with a sense of beauty and distance that was difficult to place. Dangerous to stay near for too long, lest you get consumed by it.

Shownu was the shelter of the cozy house, all warm tones and the comfort of home. A shelter from the unwavering cold that would meet you outside, a shelter from painful winters and realities alike. The contrast between the two came in the form of a harsh, choking breath of air that seemed to be just too hot when you've stepped inside from the cold, or a shockingly icy sting to exposed skin when exiting the safety of home into the tundra. Being around either for too long brought a sudden jolt when you finally were near the other, but there was beauty in both.

 

Hyungwon was walking down dark paths covered in dust and soil, ducking away from the prying eyes of flickering lampposts to avoid being spotted. This was easier said than done, considering among the dystopia his crisp, clean suit and neat hair stuck out like a sore thumb. He made his way through the crumbling stone-paved streets, the chill of dusk and a thick fog following close behind him. Said streets were, thankfully, deserted, as if the population of the city had been swallowed by the quiet of the night.

A small patrol of soldiers passed by him, but the heavy watch on his wrist sounded with a tick that told him he had no reason to be worried, never did. Eventually, he reached the path he was looking for, leading him down to a small, abandoned greenhouse. It was no surprise when he felt himself being grabbed by the shoulders and slammed against the wall. With a blank expression, his gaze shifted downwards.

“It's you.” The familiar figure in front of him sighed, relief lacing his breath.

Hyungwon simply reached up and removed Changkyun's hands from his shoulders, dropping them before pushing himself away from the wall behind him. The two walked in silence the rest of the way to the greenhouse, but as soon as they arrived, Changkyun eagerly broke the silence. “How is he?” He asked.

“The same.” Came the plain response.

Changkyun subtly shook his head. It was no secret that Minhyuk wasn't the most steady person. The fact that the youngest couldn't comfort his friend himself made him want to tear out his hair. “And Kihyun?” He asked, forcing himself to move on.

“Most other people I see... they move on so much faster compared to Kihyun. He's the first person I've seen mourn for this long in a while. It's interesting.” Hyungwon's tone finally broke it's neutral facade.

“It's not interesting, Hyungwon, it's sad.” Changkyun corrected, patient as ever.

“Right.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes. Infinite knowledge of the universe, powers that most people would dream of, and yet Hyungwon still hadn't grasped the concept of empathy. He understood, of course. Detachment came with what Hyungwon was doing, and yet as someone who was empathetically inclined, he couldn't put himself in the others shoes. With a deep breath, he looked to where Hyungwon sat uncomfortably on a broken and torn couch, his long legs folded awkwardly.

“Any ideas on how you're gonna get Jooheon out alive in all of this?”

“Wonho wants to tell him what's going on. He thinks the only thing that will work is self awareness.”

“That means you'd have to tell Minhyuk, too, right?” Changkyun asked, trying not to let hope trickle into his voice.

Hyungwon nodded in reluctant agreement, looking somewhat distracted. Out of the six people he knew, Changkyun was the youngest. The sacrifices he'd made at such a young age, the things he'd witnessed made him such an incredibly tough person. It was hard for Hyungwon not to admire that, but every time he felt what he thought was affection for the younger, he stomped it down until all that was left was neutrality.

With a swift movement of his hand, Hyungwon pulled off the messenger bag that was around his shoulder and handed it to Changkyun. The only thing he requested from Hyungwon was to bring him food. The rusty cans of cold beans and crusty SPAM that made up a lot of his meals weren't exactly his favorite thing. Or anyones, for that matter.

With that, Hyungwon stood and moved stiffly towards the exit of the greenhouse, hoping Changkyun wouldn't say anything. There wasn't much information he could give him, considering the situation, and he knew the youngest would reach the limit of his patience very soon. However, he didn't dwell on it long.

Changkyun remained sitting, his legs tucked under him. He watched the elder go, his stiff posture as he walked making Changkyun's own back ache. As soon as the other's lanky figure disappeared, a sigh escaped his mouth in a sharp breath. Without Minhyuk the only company he had was Hyungwon, and even then that didn't exactly say much. He leaned back against the couch, and let memories flood his mind.

 

A young Changkyun was hidden behind the roots of a towering oak, curled in upon himself, arms around his shins, knees pulled up to his small chest. He was hiding, back pressed against the rough bark of the trunk, roots sprawling out around him. Quiet footsteps grew closer, his heart starting to race as he put his palm against his mouth to silence his breaths. Crackling twigs alerted him to the presence that crept up to where he was hiding before, “Boo!” screamed a small voice.

Changkyun jumped in fear, falling sideways onto a bed of leaves as Minhyuk jumped out at him with a laugh. With an indignant huff of breath, the younger accepted defeat. “You won.” He sulked, getting to his feet and brushing the dirt from the knees of his worn jeans.

Minhyuk pumped his fist in the air in victory, a smug grin on his face, Though Minhyuk was smaller, he was the older of the two, and was generally the leader between them. Changkyun, though he often pretended to be annoyed by his presence, was willing to follow him to the ends of the earth. There was no resistance, whether verbal or physical, as Minhyuk took the younger by the hand and led him through the woods to the river near their houses.

The two often passed hours by together playing in the cool water there, splashing around and skipping stones with the gentle silk stream of the moving water trickling past their legs. Today was no different. Minhyuk gripped his hand tightly as they kicked off their torn shoes and waded in. “Kyunnie, find me a good stone.” He demanded, silently pushing the face that he'd won hide and seek as his right to order Changkyun around.

“Okay.” The younger replied immediately, leaning down to start searching through the smooth rocks that shifted underneath their feet.

Minhyuk smiled contentedly and amused himself by splashing Changkyun with water. As both were distracted, neither of the children noticed the large shadows that loomed over them, blocking out the sun. Though it wouldn't do much, instinctively, Minhyuk pushed Changkyun behind him as they turned, tilting his head up to face the armed soldiers that towered in front of them. With a braveness that was beyond his age, Minhyuk glared at the men that held guns pointed towards them. “Go back to your houses.” One of the soldiers demanded in a rough, cold tone, offering no explanation.

He could feel the younger shaking behind him and pressed his lips together in fury, pushing the other to turn around and head back towards the path that led towards their neighborhood. He could feel the burning stares of the men behind them on his skull, but used all of his will to ignore it and instead focus on making sure Changkyun was okay, and wasn't going to do anything to encourage the soldier's trigger fingers. He had learned a long time ago that the smallest things could invoke rage from the armed guards that constantly patrolled their city. It seemed as if every government worker was more than happy to pull their triggers, whether it was on an adult or child.

With a soft sigh, Minhyuk let his shoulders slump as they turned the corner and stood in front of the entrance to their neighborhood. He turned back to look at his companion and was met with the sight of streaks of tears trailing their way silently down Changkyun's face. “Are you okay?” Minhyuk asked, his tiny voice flushed with concern.

The answer Changkyun gave and his body language told two different stories as he nodded, but the trembling of his hands worsened. Minhyuk pulled him forward and wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders. There were no words to comfort him, he knew. The fear and adrenaline that wrapped around their throats, like the ghost of a noose, could only be washed away with time. He didn't know how long had passed that they stood there, clutching each other like a life line, but Changkyun held onto the memory of Minhyuk's unwavering grip long after the moment ended.

“Let's go home, okay?” The elder asked, maturity that was beyond his age showing in the way he cared for the younger. “Mom's making soup tonight. Your mom said you could stay over, remember?”

With that, Changkyun gave him a watery smile, and Minhyuk used the pads of his thumbs to push the tears from his face. His hands were soft, still mostly unmarred from their youth, though some scars dotted his skin. ”Let's go home.” He repeated gently.

 

Changkyun inhaled sharply as tears stung his eyes. He swallowed harshly, willing the emotion to stop leaving harsh pains in his chest as he rolled onto his side, tucking an arm under his head. It was unpreventable, the memory that assaulted him next. The memory of how he had met Hyungwon.

The two were eighteen and twenty at the time. Tradition held, and they were returning through a field from the river, shoes in their hands, the legs of their pants rolled up to their calves. There was a combination of a soft brush of the tall grass, and the occasional scratch of thorns that camouflaged themselves. “Is your mom making bread today?” Changkyun asked hopefully, taking careful steps.

Minhyuk laughed and nodded, glancing towards where Changkyun was pushing the long strands out of his path. The sunlight cast a warm glow onto the younger's skin, giving him a dreamlike look. The day felt as if it weren't real. They both had the day off from working in the city factory, and had spent their time together eating strawberries that Changkyun's mom had sneaked home from the fields, enjoying the cool comfort of the water that protected them from the scorching sun.

Thinking back, Changkyun knew he should've expected it. There was never a day where everything was filled with contentment and smiles. There was a sense of deja vu in that moment, when Changkyun saw shadows fall next to the two. However, unlike when they were younger, the guards didn't physically tower over them. Despite that, their guns gave them a height he could never reach. Suddenly, he was shoved protectively behind Minhyuk. The memory stirring in his head made him dizzy. “What are you doing here?” One of the three guards demanded.

“Walking.” Minhyuk snapped back, an uncharacteristically angry glare settling onto his face.

Somehow, though the governemnt that tracked them struck intense fear into Changkyun, Minhyuk never failed to act as if he didn't care about the world around him and how hard it tried to beat down optimistic people like him. The first guard raised his gun so the tip was pressed against Minhyuk's forehead, which only made him raise his head higher. “Minhyuk, let it go. Let's go home.” He mumbled to the older, wrapping his fingers around his wrist.

“Changkyun, shut up.” He said under his breath, pushing his hand away.

“Get down on the ground. We're searching you.” A second soldier demanded, obviously angered by Minhyuk's lack of fear.

Changkyun felt himself being pulled away from his best friend, a soft sound of terror leaving his throat, unheard. He felt a gun poking threateningly against his spine, but he had minimal reaction to it. He was familiar with the feeling. He watched as Minhyuk was shoved to his knees, hands tucked above his head. The other two soldiers roughly patted him down. It looked as if they were about to pull away, until one of them shoved his hand into Minhyuk's pocket and withdrew a handful of strawberries. That's when Changkyun felt the oxygen leave his lungs.

“Where did you get these?” A loud voice demanded furiously.

Minhyuk remained silent, his features calm as he looked up at the soldier. His eyes were clear and serene as they shouted at him, while Changkyun mentally screamed at him to say something, anything. He knew better, though, knew that there was no way Minhyuk would give up Changkyun's family to save his own life. It happened too fast. One second Minhyuk turned to smile at him, the next there was a loud bang and he fell to the ground, red spreading across his chest.

A scream ripped through Changkyun's throat as his heart dropped. He forgot the soldiers standing around him and scrambled forward, gripping Minhyuk's shoulders tightly, pulling him into his chest. The blood that started soaking into his own clothes didn't register, nor did the scoffs and fading footsteps of the men that ended his best friend's life. His chest seized as he sobbed, tucking his face into Minhyuk's neck as he cradled him, repeating his name like a mantra, shaking him for a response. A response he never got.

He barely remembered tucking his arms under Minhyuk's limp frame and carrying him through the gently swaying grace, a fluttering breeze brushing through his hair, the sweet fragrance of strawberries drifting across the field with it. The tears streaming down his face were left unchecked as he stumbled up the path towards his house. He didn't see his parents standing outside, their faces creased with worry from the gunshot they'd heard. Their shocked screams at the state of Minhyuk didn't reach his ears, nor did the tugs on Changkyun's sleeves, nor the questions that were thrown his way. The numbness had already spread throughout his body.

Months later, Changkyun had been sitting in the field next to a pile of rocks, careful not to disturb them, talking aloud to himself as he stared up at the sky. The rustling of grass alerted him that someone was nearby. Fear trickled into his veins like ice, and he stood quickly, whirling around to face the source of the sounds. That was the first time he saw him. He wasn't anything like the citizens of the city, not even close to the government officials that he was so afraid of.

The man in front of him seemed to be around Minhyuk's age, with neat, deep brown hair, an impeccably clean suit, and a look in his eyes that made Changkyun feel as if he held secrets that he wouldn't want to know. He stared at Changkyun with a completely neutral face before lifting his arm slowly, glancing down at a chunky watch that sat on his wrist. It took only seconds before he lowered his arm again and look up at him. “Lim Changkyun.” He said in a flat, almost robotic tone. “Follow me.”

That was the same day he'd been shown the greenhouse. It took several days for them to talk, for Hyungwon to explain his purpose and plan. At first, it seemed like a cruel joke to Changkyun. Who would believe a stranger that said he was a time traveler that could bring back his dead friend? Eventually, after a lot of explanations and information that Changkyun had never told anyone being repeated back to him, and nearly screeching after witnessing Hyungwon teleport a couple times though it exhausted him, Changkyun believed him. Once he was told that he and Minhyuk were both supposed to die, Minhyuk originally beaten to death, he had to excuse himself to go vomit into a bush.

Thinking he had nothing to lose, as his mom had died of “unknown causes” soon after Minhyuk, Changkyun agreed to help Hyungwon transport Minhyuk to another world to save his life. This process forced him to witness Minhyuk's death over and over as Hyungwon attempted to figure out when and how to step in in order to save the silver-haired boy. He was quiet for a long time after that.

The weirdest part of it all, he thought, was when he'd see Minhyuk's parents and they no longer recognized him. Every trace of Minhyuk had been erased from his world, every last hint of a memory other than the ones he held close to him. It was only through Hyungwon's word and some videos he played via an “iPad” as Hyungwon called it that he saw Minhyuk. A waiter in a cafe with no family, no friends. Struggling to pay rent and get through college, surviving off of only cheap food and the rare occasion the cook of the cafe would save him something to eat out of sympathy.

Changkyun still didn't know if the loneliness and depression Minhyuk was going through was better than his original fate, but his own selfishness prevented him from telling Hyungwon to return things to the way they were. He didn't know why Hyungwon was so willing to save some boy he'd never met, but he chose not to ask questions. He didn't want to cut the thin string of hope that told him he'd be able to see Minhyuk again.

Changkyun was pulled out of his memories slowly, through the sounds of wildlife awaking in the forest. It was then that he realized dusk had passed and night had wrapped itself around the world that surrounded him, giving the animals their cue to come out from the woodwork. The chilly weather settled in his bones and pushed him to curl in on himself, to tug at the blanket thrown over him for warmth. He mentally counted the days that he had been away from Minhyuk, wondering if he really would ever see him again, or if Hyungwon would be stuck in an endless loop of “it's not the right time.” Changkyun passed that night like he had every other one before it. Alone.


	2. Two

Lee Hoseok had no idea what to think of Hyungwon, if he was completely honest. The man didn't say much, even to him. The few things that Wonho knew about him was that he was determined, private, emotionally constipated, and had no concept of what sarcasm was. On the other hand, due to his tendency to attempt to fill awkward silences, Hyungwon knew a lot more about him.

 

Hyungwon, however, responded to the small talk and stories he told with blank stares and silence. It was almost comical, but whenever Wonho needed company that didn't respond about as well as a rock, he sought out Shownu. Despite the fact that Shownu was slightly younger than him, he reminded Wonho of a wise man beyond his years. He always knew the right wards to say, the perfect advice to give.

 

Of course, though Wonho's knowledge of how he was helping Hyungwon was somewhat limited, Shownu knew even less. All he knew was that Wonho time traveled, and there was a lot Wonho wanted to spill, but who could blame him for remaining silent? With little prompting, “So I'm working with someone with a robotic personality, time traveling, and for some reason the emotionless shell that is my partner is borderline-obsessively trying to rescue these four guys. I don't know where he came from or why they're important, and honestly, I'm stupid for doing this, but hey, I met you, and even if this has disastrous consequences, we're all hurtling towards death anyway, so why not.” would probably spill out of his mouth. But Shownu never asked, and Wonho decided he didn't want his only friend to think he had done drugs, and definitely didn't want Hyungwon to kill him.

 

So Wonho kept his mouth shut. It was nice, actually. The relief of not having to talk about all kinds of complicated things. He showed up and Shownu would throw some protective gear at him and drag him to the center of the room, and they would throw punches without doing damage. Shownu would complain about simple things like annoying neighbors, and Wonho would feel normal again. Sparring with the younger was a breath of fresh air, and it seemed whenever he needed vague advice and a friend he would immediately gravitate towards the other. The free coffee was a welcomed bonus.

 

 

 

 

While Wonho was away, doing the previously mentioned, Hyungwon was outside, in a completely different world. Clouds had gathered in the sky, the light kind that radiated a silvery gray and whispered hints of rain to come. It was cool enough that a coat was wrapped around the lanky man's shoulders. The season still sat on the edge of winter, spring barely creeping into the town to provide relief from the cold weather that made lips crack and sent shivers through the people there.

 

The bench beneath Hyungwon was made of frigid metal, the building in front of him of red brick. He knew exactly where Kihyun's little office sat in the building, his brain mapping out every available pathway, every small detail of the halls that led to it. With a calm demeanor, Hyungwon stood and started walking. His strides were oddly smooth, his back too straight, chin up as he looked directly ahead of him. Wonho had compared him to a robot once, and he wasn't exactly far off, but that had been one of the very rare times Hyungwon had shown strong emotion. He had turned sharply, a glare in his usually passive eyes, and spat, “I'm not a robot. They're artificial.” And left the room. Wonho never brought it up again.

 

Hyungwon climbed the shallow stairs to the building with precise steps, pulled open the door, and stepped inside. The atmosphere in the entrance was heavier than the outside world, the lighting darker, almost depressing. He wound his way through the building, past rented rooms that served as offices for people of different trades. He moved past tailors and shoe shiners, repairmen, fortune tellers, psychologists, and other workers he didn't care to notice. Eventually, he ended up where he needed to be.

 

Kihyun was sat at the end of the hall, head in his hands. A metal grating obscured Hyungwon's vision slightly, but he was able to see with clarity as Kihyun's shoulders shook. It had already been eight months in this timeline, and Kihyun was still struggling daily with the loss of Jooheon. Coping seemed to be hopeless for him; he would break down crying at random times, ending up in bed with a pounding headache that blurred his vision at the worst of it. Hyungwon's hand moved to his jacket pocket as he brushed his thumb across the watch that was hidden there.

 

Changkyun's voice rang out in the back of his mind. 'Empathy, Hyungwon.' 'It's not interesting, it's sad.' Hyungwon's eyebrows crept together as he watched Kihyun push a sleeve across his cheek and let out a deep breath.

 

Hyungwon moved swiftly, no different than usual. Within moments he had stepped forward, dropping the watch carefully onto the slot on the other side of the metal grating, pushing it until it was on Kihyun's side, before turning and walking away. He heard the creak of a chair, the sound of a confused voice calling after him, but he was already around the corner and out of sight.

 

 

 

 

Wonho was shoved roughly to the wooden floor, all breath vanishing from his body in a loud huff. He coughed, willing himself to remember how to breathe again. “That was a cheap shot.” He choked out, arms reaching up to yank the helmet off of his head.

 

A warm grin greeted him, the owner's eyes crinkling. “I don't make cheap shots. You weren't paying attention.” Shownu countered, offering the other a hand to help him up.

 

Wonho reached up to take it, grabbed his hand, and yanked as hard as he could. Shownu lost his balance and fell to the floor next to him on his hands and knees. “Really?” He gave him a dirty look.

 

With a smug expression, he dropped his arm. “I never said _I_ don't make cheap shots.”

 

Shownu sighed and tried his hardest, but failed, to hide the smile that spread across his face. Instead, he just rolled over onto the floor next to his friend, pulling his own mask off. Sweat beaded on his forehead and temples, not unusual considering the room lacked air conditioning, and he swatted at it in annoyance. “Coffee and lunch?” He asked.

 

Wonho made a sound in agreement and stood, reaching out to help Shownu up from the floor. The latter accepted it, letting Wonho pull him to his feet. Without another word, they settled into their usual routine. Wonho turned and allowed Shownu to untie the straps that held the protective gear over his stomach. Roles reversed, and the elder did the same for him before they quickly removed the rest of it and left their things in a pile beside the door, letting out a sigh of relief as they were freed from the choking hot air in the studio. They walked down the street together, Shownu's arm resting across Wonho's shoulders.

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk gripped his coat tighter as the wind pressed against him at all angles. It was strong enough he found it hard to breathe, even when he held a palm over his nose. Cold seeped into every one of his pores, urging him to rush home faster. He complied quickly, moving as fast as he could towards his apartment.

 

When he reached the door he shoved his key in the lock, hands shaking, and twisted the doorknob. He was greeted with an almost equally cold living room, which propelled him to the hall to turn up the thermostat. Rubbing his hands together, he moved towards the kitchen to pull out leftovers, throwing them into the microwave without much thought. His icy fingertips rubbed across his temples as a headache began blooming. He'd spent too long running on coffee and barely any sleep.

 

Later that night, with the heat having done barely anything, he found himself curled up on his mattress, a pile of blankets nearly smothering him. Sleep flickered around the edges of his consciousness, blurring his vision, pulling him in and out of awareness. Eventually, he gave up on trying to stay wake, and forced himself to relax.

 

 

 

“ _Minhyuk, what do you wanna do when you're older?” A small voice asked from beside him._

 

_Minhyuk was curled around Changkyun, arms tucking the younger close to him. Changkyun's tears had dried since the incident earlier that day, yet he was still very obviously quieter than usual. His face was nearly entirely hidden in his best friend's side, voice muffled from Minhyuk's t-shirt. The older hummed, adjusting how his head was resting on the mattress. “I dunno. Maybe I'll try and be a teacher.” He replied equally as softly._

 

_The air held a sort of unease for reasons Minhyuk couldn't make out. “I wanna run away. Get out of this place. This city.” Changkyun voiced._

 

_The elder exhaled sharply. Runners were punished with a death sentence, and a slow one at that. They were brought in front of the city and beaten to death. “Don't say that.” He warned._

 

“ _Why not? We could do it. We could go to another city, or live in the woods. People have done it.” His childish voice protested._

 

“ _Those are rumors, Changkyun. No one's tried it and survived. Don't bring that up again.” Minhyuk scolded, tone on edge._

 

_Silence spread throughout the small room. They were at Changkyun's house. Both of their parents were working extra hours overnight, and their house was safer than Minhyuk's, whose parents lived closer to one of the many stations soldiers had set up near the neighborhoods. It wasn't unusual for the boys to be home alone. The two had become independent a long time ago, each other being the exception._

 

“ _Are you mad at me, 'Hyuk?” Changkyun broke the silence, voice thin._

 

_Minhyuk sighed, “No, of course I'm not. I just worry about you.”_

 

_The younger moved closer into his side. Sharing body heat steadily pressed the chill away, and eventually, Minhyuk heard his breathing even out. Paranoia lived in his veins; Minhyuk laid awake, listening to the sounds of the nearby woods, and the occasional noises of a patrol passing through the neighborhood. Every time the sound of footsteps neared, Minhyuk would press closer to Changkyun in a protective manner, a hand firm against his back. Time slowed, and Minhyuk drifted off as well._

 

Minhyuk shot awake with a start, gaze sweeping around the room. The dream had felt so real. Confusion replaced the paranoia that had spread throughout him while he had been dreaming, and he brushed a hand through his hair. He glanced at the glowing numbers of his alarm clock. 2:47. He gave a weary groan and rolled over, pulling the blankets up to his ears, choosing not to give it another thought. Sleep was more important at the moment.

 

 

 

_Crash._ The sound of metal crunching in on itself, screeching as it scraped across the pavement, glass shattering, and various parts of the vehicle flying off. The accident was violent, nauseating to watch. Yet there Kihyun was. His own reoccurring nightmare reflected perfectly in his eyes. He closed his eyes, jaw clenched, as he listened to the vehicle slide to a stop. Then, the _woosh_ of the flames bursting to life, spreading quickly across the remnants of what used to be a car.

 

Kihyun had learned a long time ago that Jooheon was already dead by the time the fire started. Probably on impact. The smell of smoke made his stomach turn even more, dizzy as he sank to the pavement. He'd lost track of how many times he'd ended up here, defeated. He paid no mind to the frustrated tears that trickled down his cheeks.

 

He fumbled with the watch on his wrist, twisting one of the dials on the side, gathering the strength to stand again. The world blurred and when he turned, the crashed car had disappeared. Slowly, he faced the other way, and saw the familiar vehicle driving down the road. With an exhausted breath, he started sprinting towards it, his face a mask of pain. It became more hopeless as the car got farther away.

 

From the corner of his eye, a figure caught his attention, walking the opposite direction. Exhausted, he stopped running, and turned towards the man passing him. They looked at each other in silence. Panting, Kihyun squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut out the sound of the crash before it reached his ears yet again. After silence settled, Kihyun opened his eyes again, to find the formal looking man still watching him quietly. His eyes drifted down, looking straight at the watch that was on his wrist, identical to Kihyun's. With a raspy voice, he finally spoke. “Who are you?”

 

 

 

The two sat in a coffee shop, not unlike the one Wonho and Shownu frequented. Hyungwon was unnerving to Kihyun, his piercing eyes looking straight into Kihyun's own bloodshot ones with no attempt to hide it. A cup of steaming coffee had made it's home between his chilled palms, bringing a calm energy back into the atmosphere despite the tension in the air. He almost laughed. They were probably quite the interesting pair to onlookers. Hyungwon, well put together and neat, and Kihyun, clad in a slightly torn hoodie and distressed jeans, staring across the table at each other in silence.

 

He pressed his lips together. “So let's say I believe you. You time travel. Why do you want to save Jooheon? Why do you want to save me?” He challenged, leaning back in his seat, eyes narrowed.

 

Hyungwon didn't respond right away. What was the correct answer. “Your deaths were... pointless. There's people that deserve to die in this world, and you aren't one of them. Neither is Jooheon.” He said finally.

 

There were several moments of quiet, the only sounds were of the low chatter of other customers, before Kihyun slowly nodded. “Okay.” He said, simply.

 

“O...kay?” Hyungwon, for once, was taken aback.

 

Kihyun shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, what else am I supposed to say? What you said definitely adds up.”

 

At a loss for words, Hyungwon opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He eventually just gave up and let it go. This was making things easier, anyway. “So what's the plan?” Kihyun asked, bringing the mug up to his lips and sipping carefully.

 

“There isn't one. Yet. It's... being worked on.” Hyungwon replied, still unsure.

 

Kihyun nodded. “Yeah, well, keep me updated.” He said, setting the cup down and getting to his feet.

 

Hyungwon merely watched as Kihyun pulled on his coat, flashed him a fake smile, and walked away, leaving him sitting at the table in confusion. Obviously, he'd missed something.

 

 

 

 

“Yeah, there's no way he believed you.” Wonho laughed, spinning in his chair.

 

“What?” Hyungwon looked away from the computer screen in front of him. “He said he did.”

 

“He was being sarcastic. He probably thought you were drunk or something and wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.”

 

Hyungwon paused. “But I gave him the watch.” He said slowly, trying to understand.

 

“Well, he's probably trying to figure out the watch on his own, and then you came in with a bunch of information and overwhelmed him. You probably should've waited a bit longer before trying to confront him.”

 

“But you're the one who told me to talk to him in the first place.”

 

“Yeah, but I didn't think you would listen to me. It's not like you have any other time.” Wonho shrugged.

 

The sound that left Hyungwon's mouth was almost pained, but his expression remained the same as he turned back towards the computer. Wonho stifled a laugh and spun back around towards his own desk. He began typing. “So what do you wanna do with them, anyway?” He asked.

 

“Kihyun has to be the one to save Jooheon. You said that yourself. I have to convince him to help us.”

 

“Whoa, mister privacy wants to bring another person on the team?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

 

Wonho was met with a silence that let him know his statement wasn't exactly appreciated. “Sorry. Anyway, I agree. I think we can focus on that, considering Minhyuk seems to be fine for now, and Changkyun's still patient, by some miracle.”

 

He noticed Hyungwon shift in the reflection of his computer tower at the last statement. Slowly, he faced the younger again. “You know something.” He said. “What's going on with Changkyun?”

 

Hyungwon stilled, knowing he was caught. “Tomorrow at around 4:17 Changkyun's going to see the guard that killed Minhyuk. The guard's going to taunt him, and Changkyun's going to get angry.”

 

Wonho sucked in a sharp breath. “How bad?”

 

“Mostly external damage. Bruised ribs, cuts, a split lip. The worst will be a knife wound, but it'll heal for the most part in a couple months. They won't kill him; the guard's sadistic.”

 

“And you're not going to stop him?” He asked in disbelief.

 

“If he misses work one more time they'll track him down and shoot him.”

 

Wonho's jaw tensed. He'd never met the youngest, just heard Hyungwon's shortly worded reports, but that didn't mean he could easily get past the way Changkyun was treated in his world. He couldn't even imagine the anger and hurt he would feel if he were in the other's position. “I'll take medical supplies to him.” He stated.

 

Hyungwon merely nodded, clearly no longer interested in the conversation. Wonho had no idea how he could just brush off the things that Changkyun was going through, but chose to chalk it up to the fact that Hyungwon had witnessed more than enough of this world, of every world, and had probably seen people in much worse situations. With a sigh, he let quiet seep back into the room, and returned to working.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, this is literally so shit, but I tried adding some stuff that would show more of each pairs' dynamics, as well as how Hyungwon deals with what's going on. Quick question, if I were to add ships, which ones would you guys wanna see?


	3. Three

 

Changkyun's world was grimier than expected, despite what Wonho had been told about it. There was a dark tint to the atmosphere, like the condition of the city had sunk into everyone's brain and created a universal disgust towards life that polluted the air around them. Wonho blended into the surrounding area well; he wasn't Hyungwon, who seemed to be perfectly fine with sticking out like a sore thumb. Well, maybe he was oblivious to it. Before leaving Wonho had dressed in worn, dirty clothes, and shoved a baseball cap down over his eyes to make sure he'd be able to melt into the city as if he'd been born there.

 

The new world around him made him feel mildly disgusted. He'd already witnessed some pretty depressing sights, things he didn't want to repeat, as he made his way down the path Hyungwon often took to the greenhouse. Despite what he wanted, there was nothing he could do to help the people that he saw begging. It would be more than a little suspicious if a man no one had ever seen before appeared with a surplus of food and started handing it out to strangers. Wonho had no idea how Hyungwon could deal with seeing these types of things, and even worse, and just walk past as if there were nothing happening.

 

Wonho ducked into the greenhouse easily, pushing through overgrown plants and vines. Eventually, he reached the center where a couch and a couple of chairs were set up. He dropped his bag and started pulling out medical supplies, such as disinfectant and bandages, and glanced around the space. It wasn't like anything he'd seen before; the glass was cracked or missing in most places, the framework rusted. The plants had taken over, winding their way up and down the structure. It was beautiful, untouched, except for the area Changkyun had carved out in the center.

 

Suddenly, Wonho was pulled backwards and the cold, sharp edge of a knife was pressed against his throat. “Who are you?” A voice asked.

 

“Wonho. I'm with Hyungwon.” He breathed out calmly in response, though he knew he could overpower the younger. 

 

There was a small pause before the knife was removed and he was shoved away. Changkyun looked him up and down carefully, eyebrows creased. “You don't look anything like Hyungwon does.” He observed, still suspicious.

 

“Yeah, well, some of us have a concept of risk.” Wonho sighed, doing his best to keep composure despite the younger's state.

 

Changkyun snorted at that, realizing that he definitely knew Hyungwon. “Why are you even here? You've never come before.” He asked, tucking the knife in his boot and moving towards where Wonho had dumped his stuff out of curiosity.

 

“I knew you were attacked. Hyungwon wasn't gonna come so... here I am.” He shrugged, moving to pick up a cotton ball and peroxide.

 

“No bandages. Guards would be too suspicious of where I got them from.” Changkyun looked down at his feet, his tone turning cold at the mention of the guards.

 

Wonho carefully and slowly reached up, cotton ball in hand, giving Changkyun plenty of time to move away if he was uncomfortable with a stranger treating his wounds. Apparently, he didn't care, because he merely looked up at Wonho and watched him. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Wonho asked, dabbing carefully at a cut on Changkyun's cheek.

 

Changkyun sighed. “You know what happened to Minhyuk, I assume.” He began.

 

Wonho merely nodded in response, focused, muttering an apology when the younger flinched in pain. “I saw him... the guy who did that to him. He recognized me too and brought it up. I just got so angry...” Changkyun trailed off, shame spreading across his face like a wildfire.

 

“It wasn't your fault.” Wonho said quietly. He was furious for the boy in front of him.

 

Changkyun shrugged, having already accepted what happened. “What can you do. I'm lucky to be alive, let's be honest.”

 

The rest of the time passed mostly in silence, except for the occasional comment being thrown in here and there, questions from Changkyun about the world that he and Hyungwon had settled in, and Wonho repeatedly asking if he was okay. When Changkyun was as patched up as he could be within the boundaries set, the elder moved back and looked him up and down properly. He looked young, yet there was something in his eyes that aged him. Wonho didn't even want to guess about the things he'd probably seen.

 

There was a somewhat awkward silence before Wonho turned around and pulled some food out of his bag. “Hyungwon told me what kinds of food you usually ask for so...” He trailed off sheepishly for a moment. “I brought them all. And some more.”

 

 

 

For the next couple of hours they sat on the couch and chair, chatting and eating various junk food, with Wonho very happily introducing Changkyun to Burger King. Wonho knew it was probably a mistake to immediately make friends with the younger, but he couldn't help it. Knowing that Changkyun was here in this world alone, especially after having witnessed firsthand what it was like, made him want to protect the youngest.

 

As soon as they both started yawning Wonho knew he had to go. Hesitantly, he stood up, pulling off his hat to run a hand through his hair in exhaustion. Changkyun merely let out another yawn and stretched out on the couch. “I'm guessing you have to go?” He questioned, trying to keep the disappointment out of his tone of voice.

 

“Hyungwon and I are still working on trying to get Minhyuk, Kihyun and Jooheon where they're supposed to be. Hang in there.” He said softly, an encouraging smile crossing his face.

 

At this, Changkyun's expression lit up a bit more and he relaxed into the cushions. “Stay safe, kid.” Wonho said before disappearing.

 

Changkyun pulled his legs up towards his body and tugged a ragged blanket over him, taking a deep breath. The company of Wonho was comforting at the time, but left an even bigger and emptier space in his chest now that he was gone. Even the cold presence of Hyungwon was preferable to being alone.

 

 

 

Minhyuk pinched the bridge of his nose. He was hiding in the janitors' closet, attempting to ignore the sudden feeling of nausea. The lunch rush had just passed and there had been so many people, so much noise, that he had become overwhelmed and excused himself to take his break, and immediately hid. He was sitting on an overturned bucket with his head in his hands, trying to block out any noise from the rooms outside.

 

He curled in on himself, cringing as he heard dishes crashing around from the main room of the cafe. “Where the hell is Minhyuk?” He heard his boss shout.

 

With a deep breath Minhyuk braced himself, stood, and pushed the door open. He walked through the small kitchen, refastening his oversized apron and ignoring the pitying look from the head chef. It was apparent on his face that the day wasn't going well for him. Walking quickly towards the front, he swiped a rag and bottle of cleaner off of a counter.

 

Practically on autopilot, Minhyuk routinely started cleaning the tables until he made his way to the last one. Sitting on the tabletop was a pristine watch, the chain neatly piled up next to it. With a simple glance around, it was obvious that the owner was nowhere to be seen. Quickly, he picked it up and rushed outside, but was met with the sight of an entirely deserted street. With a huff of breath, he lifted the watch and looked it over. _Lee Minhyuk_ was engraved on the back.

 

 

 

Kihyun was annoyed. Annoyed at the fact that he had been visited by some delusional man who had confused him more than he already was, annoyed that a voice in the back of his head was telling him that maybe that man wasn't as delusional as he was brushing him off to be. The circumstances were already unreal. If you had gone up to him a week ago and told him he'd be time traveling, trying to rescue his beyond dead best friend, he would've passed it on a sick, and admittedly weird, joke.

 

However, after the week he'd been having, filled with even more tears and sleepless nights than the rest of the past eight months, the things Hyungwon had said were starting to eat away at him. The skeptical side of him, however, was flat out calling him stupid. He chewed his lip and looked down at the metal in his hand. Hyungwon's story was slowly trying to check out. The back of the watch had _Yoo Kihyun_ engraved in simplistic cursive, and his mind flashed back to when Hyungwon had looked at him as if he was seeing an old acquaintance he hadn't talked to in a while.

 

It was somewhat paranoia inducing, in fact. The way Hyungwon had scanned him as if he knew everything about him already, like he had no need to look over what he had already seen a million times before. _“Maybe he's a stalker.”_ Kihyun thought.

 

Even that wouldn't really make sense. It wasn't as if Hyungwon had tracked him down or rushed towards him in a back alley. He'd look at Kihyun with an overwhelming indifference, like a cat looking over a butterfly and deciding it wasn't worth the chase. Kihyun told himself he was still on the fence about the whole thing, but he knew better. His breathing grew shaky. _“Keep me updated.”_ He'd said to Hyungwon. Something told him that he'd take him seriously, and that he'd be back soon.

 

 

 

_Changkyun pushed the tips of his fingers across his forehead, undoubtedly leaving a smudge of dirt behind on the skin. Possibly blood. It wasn't unusual for his fingers to get jammed in the machinery, or cut by stray bits of sharp metal. Luckily, he hadn't lost one yet. His shoulders briefly sagged in relief as the alarm went off that signaled that his, and the rest of the crew he belonged to, shift was over._

 

_They stepped into line, practically identical due to the fact that their face, and most of their exposed skin, was covered in dirt, and their uniforms were all the same, except for the numbers on the back. After marching straight forward through a security checkpoint where they were searched, they were allowed to leave. The mood lifted as they entered the changing rooms, parents realizing they could go home to their families, young adults happy to get away. Changkyun wanting to go straight to see Minhyuk._

 

_Recently, the stress in his life had been more than tripled. His dad had gotten into an accident at work, a factory job just like his son's, but more difficult. They couldn't afford any semblance of medical treatment except for people in the neighborhood who offered their services for free, but they didn't have sterile equipment. Infection had set in, and Changkyun knew what was going to happen next._

 

_It was selfish, he knew. Heading right to meet Minhyuk instead of going home to see his father. But the atmosphere at home was choking, like a cloud of smoke had permanently settled there and had no intention of leaving. Minhyuk was his escape from that. Plus, there wasn't anything he could do for his father._

 

_As soon as he was released from the factory walls, as workers streamed towards the neighborhoods, he glanced around and cut towards the woods. The trees were more familiar than his own house. His walk turned into a job, then a run, as he got deeper into the forest. It was a longer route from work to home this way, but there was a minuscule chance of guards patrolling, and with his path, he would reach the river before his neighborhood._

 

_As usual on every work day, Changkyun reached the edge of the trees, and paused. A small figure was hunched over the water, a familiar looking pouch attached to their belt. They were tossing stones into the running water, watching calmly as they sank to the bottom and rested with the other rocks. Changkyun grinned and picked up his pace again, his footsteps reaching the ears of the figure._

 

_Minhyuk looked up and gave him a small smile as he made his way over, dropping down and bumping his shoulder against Minhyuk's. “Hey.” The elder said softly, reaching up to put his arm around the younger._

 

_Changkyun could immediately tell something wrong from how tense Minhyuk's tone was, though he was trying to hide it. Changkyun dropped his head onto Minhyuk's shoulder so the two would look as inconspicuous as they could before tilting his mouth towards the other's ear. “What's wrong.” He asked, his voice barely audible, eyes searching the empty air for answers that weren't there._

 

_The elder was silent for a moment. “Not here.” Minhyuk said, voice firm, telling him not to ask again._

 

_For the next hour it was as if they were kids again. Changkyun had stood, dragging Minhyuk into the cool water, and from then on they were shoving each other around, throwing water, and chasing each other across the river bank so they could toss the other into the river. It was a relief, the caked dirt and blood streaming from Changkyun's skin along with the pain and worry that had leached his energy during the day._

 

_As the afternoon blended into evening, the two made their way home. Recently, their routine had shifted, and Minhyuk would follow him to his house to visit with Changkyun's father, simultaneously providing moral support so the younger wouldn't have to bear the weight of conversation alone, while also generally acting out of concern as a family friend. They pulled the door to Changkyun's house open quietly, stepping inside with soft footsteps._

 

_Changkyun's father was sat upright in bed for the first time in a while since the injury. A tube ran from his arm to a bag hung on the wall, in it, a pale blue liquid. Changkyun nearly choked when he recognized what it was, and realization settled onto his face. He turned slowly, facing his best friend with a mildly horrified expression. “Minhyukkie, what did you do?”_

 

Minhyuk sat up in bed with a start, breathing heavily. Sweat had gathered across his face and neck, his chest heaving as he pushed the blankets off of his body. A headache flashed through his skull like lightning, thrumming harder and harder until he ended up leaning forward, eyes screwed shut. He reached out to the side of his bed, hand patting the bedside table until he felt a bottle. Aspirin. With shaking hands he managed to unscrew the cap and dump a pill into his hand, tossing it into his mouth as he searched for his glass of water. He chugged it down, swallowing harshly.

 

The sweat was already starting to chill the surface of his skin, causing him to shiver. Everything felt overwhelming. The watch that he'd found earlier that day sat mockingly on the bedside table. He swallowed the nauseating feeling that had crept up his throat and settled back into his mattress, pulling the covers back over his body. He clenched his jaw, rubbing the palms of his hands over his eyelids, willing the dream he'd had to leave him alone. This “Changkyun” kid had been haunting him, and he'd always awake with a painful headache. He hadn't slept much the past month.

 

 

 

Changkyun awoke suddenly as the dream ended. Sleep was still clouding his conscience as he stretched out his legs, then curled in on himself, a bittersweet breath leaving his lips. Memories of the times he'd spent with Minhyuk had begun threading their way into his dreams, leaving him happy, yet it made the pain of missing him that much worse. With a hand wound tightly around a leather pouch, Changkyun drifted back to sleep, somewhat content.

 

 

 

Hyungwon appeared from place to place with practiced ease. He watched carefully, protectively, as Minhyuk climbed out of a taxi, eyes dull, dark circles painting his undereyes. With stiff steps and a yawn, he made his way into the cafe. He watched Changkyun go through his job and trod his way straight home, then straight to the greenhouse. He watched Kihyun as he glanced around him suspiciously, then noticed Hyungwon standing across the street. Slowly, Hyungwon raised his arm, holding a familiar looking watch in front of him. He tapped the face of it, then flipped the cover and walked away. A silent message. _'I'm waiting. Make up your mind..'_

 


	4. Four

 

_Breathe. Changkyun had to remember to breathe. Disoriented, he dropped to the floor on his hands and knees, pulling the bottom of his shirt up over his mouth and nose. Smoke was flooding the rooms, floating restlessly to the ceiling where it stuck, for now. The sound of coughing had filled the space, adding to the chaos that was assaulting his senses._

 

_Crouching, he awkwardly attempted to make his way out of the claustrophobic area, various machinery and tools blocking the way. Breathe, he reminded himself yet again as he pushed past people who had fallen to the floor. The smoke was starting to make it's way into his lungs and eyes, choking him, vision blurring as his eyes watered._

 

_One goal kept him moving as he felt the burning in his lungs, like the fire had started there. Tears leaked out of his eyes as they tried to relieve the sting, to no avail. Changkyun sucked in a deep breath, choking on the lack of oxygen as he managed to get out of the door and into the hallway._

 

_The air was a bit better in the long pathway, though the area was clogged with other employees attempting to escape. Smoke was invading his lungs, burning his eyes, and he could feel the heat licking at his skin, bringing sweat to the surface. After what seemed like hours of endless crawling, he managed to push his way out of the front door and onto the heated pavement outside._

 

_Everything seemed dreamlike, with the heatwaves and smoke playing tricks on his vision. His arms began to feel weak as he crawled, the lack of oxygen getting to him. Breathe, he thought, but it seemed as if there was no air left, like the flames that had pushed at his skin had consumed it all. Seconds later, his body gave out. The hot concrete pressed against his cheek._

 

_He felt someone's arms being wrapped around him gently, his head being lifted up by careful hands. Distantly, he heard Minhyuk calling his name. It was then that he remembered Minhyuk was supposed to be walking him home that day, would have been waiting outside when the explosion occurred. Breathe, he reminded himself, as his vision faded to black._

 

 

 

_Changkyun finally awoke, feeling soft cloth underneath his skin. He drew in a deep breath and shifted, turning his head to the side. His eyelids felt heavy as he dragged them open, weighted by exhaustion. Next to him, Minhyuk was leaning against the wall on a stool, head tilted back, staring at the ceiling. Hearing the younger shifting caught the elder's attention. He looked down and an affectionate and relieved smile spread across his face._

 

“ _How're you feeling?” Minhyuk asked softly._

 

_Changkyun merely shrugged, blinking as he glanced around and registered his surroundings. He slowly realized he was in his own home, in the bed his father usually rested in. The IV that normally led to his father's arm was missing, as was the person himself. Eyebrows creeping together, he pulled his arm back behind him to help himself sit up. “Where's my dad?” He asked, turning back to look at Minhyuk._

 

_Minhyuk's smile turned sorrowful, as if he were asking the younger for forgiveness. “It was his decision, Kyunnie. Once we realized how bad you were... the smoke had damaged your lungs so badly the doctor a few doors down figured they were most likely bleeding. You were dying. There...” Minhyuk sucked in a breath, looking back up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. “There was enough of the delphinium extract left that we could heal you. Save you. But your dad...” Minhyuk trailed off, looking at the younger with unsaid apologies and pain in his eyes._

 

_Breathe, he reminded himself, as the realization knocked the breath out of his lungs. Minhyuk moved to lay on the bed next to him, allowing him to curl into him as he cried._

 

 

 

Changkyun awoke on the couch in the greenhouse, cheeks wet with tears, and quite inconveniently, a sharp pain in his back from the lumpy couch. Quickly, he realized he wasn't alone. Wonho was stood nearby, glancing over at him with concern, preparing various disinfectants. “How long have you been here?” The younger asked, voice croaky as he sat up.

 

“About an hour. You were sleeping well, for the most part. I didn't wanna wake you.” Wonho answered, a gentleness in his tone that Changkyun couldn't place.

 

He pushed himself off of the couch, walking across the packed dirt floor to stand next to the elder. “What'd you bring today?” He asked in a lighter tone.

 

Wonho laughed at his more excited state and pulled out cartons of takeout, setting them on the table next to him. “I'm here to patch you up first, remember? Food after.”

 

Changkyun grumbled quietly at that, resembling a pouting little kid. He turned and plopped himself onto the table next to the supplies, facing Wonho and looking up at him expectantly. “Fix me, doc.” He requested.

 

The elder rolled his eyes playfully, reaching for some antibacterial paste. He unscrewed the cap, squeezing it out onto a q-tip, and gently applied it to a cut on Changkyun's temple. Luckily they'd gotten past the part of being injured where every once of pressure or medicine caused him to flinch away in pain. The infection had been fought off for the most part. For that, they were both thankful.

 

After he'd done his job, Wonho gave in and stepped back to allow Changkyun to reach for the food. Reach was an understatement. The younger practically flung himself across the table to reach for the styrofoam cartons, pulling the plastic wrappers from the utensils with his teeth, and shoveling it into his mouth. Wonho shook his head and laughed, watching him out of the corner of his eye as he cleaned up.

 

A couple of moments passed in silence, except for the sounds of Changkyun's content chewing, before Wonho spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked, concern taking over his expression.

 

Changkyun's chewing paused. He swallowed, then sighed. “I dunno. The dreams, they've always happened, but it's more frequent lately. They're not always nightmares, though, sometimes they're just... memories. From when Minhyuk was still here.”

 

He noticed Wonho freeze at this, hands hovering where they'd stopped. The expression on his face became unreadable, as if he were thinking of something he didn't want Changkyun to know about, and were consciously trying to hide it. With a small nod, Wonho finished packing up and turned back towards the younger. “What is it?” He asked, watching Wonho carefully, trying to pick up on his body language.

 

“Nothing.” The other said dismissively, flashing a brief, distracted smile.

 

Changkyun chose to let it go. There was no telling what was really going on outside of his world, and while he wanted to know what was happening with Minhyuk, he knew that they would let him know in due time. He made a mental note to ask about it again later, and decided to change the subject. “So how are things with Kihyun.” He asked, returning to his previously forgotten food.

 

Wonho merely shrugged. “He's still confused.”

 

“Can't really blame him.”

 

“Yeah, you're not wrong.” Wonho sighed.

 

Silence resumed in the room, the sounds of nature starting to filter in through the cracks and holes of the broken walls, bringing in a peace with them that was rare. Wonho zipped up the bag he'd brought with him and started putting the trash from the takeout into a plastic bag. He'd dispose of it when he got home.

 

“So I guess Hyungwon got tired of coming here himself.” Changkyun said. It was thinly veiled as a joke, but it was obvious he was genuinely curious.

 

“What? No, he's just busy.”

 

What was Wonho supposed to say? 'Nope, he's just busy keeping an eye on Minhyuk because he hasn't been sleeping, and honestly, it seems like he's about to go off the deep end at any second.' He didn't want to freak the younger out for no reason when it seemed like Hyungwon was so close to a possible solution, even if Minhyuk appeared to have no intention of using the watch. He exhaled loudly. It was obvious Changkyun knew he was hiding something, but there was no reason for him to acknowledge that. Not yet.

 

“I've gotta get back. You gonna be okay?” Wonho asked.

 

Changkyun nodded slowly, looking at him with a knowing expression that sent guilt rushing through Wonho's veins like poison. A disappointed smile crossed his face. He was disappointed in himself, for not telling the other, but Hyungwon would kill him. They needed time. With the press of a button, Wonho disappeared.

 

 

 

“The kid's losing patience.”

 

“I know.”

 

“We're running out of time.”

 

“I know.”

 

A frustrated groan passed through Wonho's lips. It seemed as if Hyungwon knew everything except what to do to fix their problems. To be honest, Wonho himself was wearing thin when it came to patience, and that was saying a lot. He didn't have the same thick skin Hyungwon had when it came to seeing the state Minhyuk was in, or how Kihyun was dealing with everything.

 

He learned forward in his chair, resting his head in his hands. Today was one of those days where it seemed like their chances were tiptoeing towards hopeless. Minhyuk's state was rapidly deteriorating; he'd gone from being overemotional to a zombie-like state. The routine of work was now just programmed into his mind, allowing him to constantly be on autopilot.

 

Kihyun, on the other hand, was angrier and more upset than ever. Initially, Wonho had been supportive of the plan of telling Kihyun what was going on, but it appeared as if the more he tried to save Jooheon, the more of his sanity he left behind. Wonho was wondering if it was a mistake.

 

“I'm gonna go see Shownu.” He said quietly.

 

Silence, as usual. He vanished.

 

 

 

Minhyuk sat on the couch in his living room, rubbing his thumb over the engraved surface of the watch. He started at it as if it would suddenly speak up, would tell him what was going on. As expected, it never did. On his days off he'd spent his time on the computer, researching any Lim Changkyun in the area. Everything he'd found had ended up as a dead end, a wild goose chase.

 

It was bizarre to him, how he could remember Changkyun's face and every detail about him so easily. Whenever he'd had any other dreams the details were hazy, even right after he'd just awoken, but days, weeks, months had passed and he could remember everything he'd ever dreamed about the younger, every small thing that had happened, every smile that had appeared on his face, every time he'd cried.

 

Minhyuk swallowed harshly. The dreams had been driving him mad. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what was causing them, but he knew he wanted them to stop. Whenever he'd go to bed, he'd pray his sleep would be uneventfully blank, but he'd wake up more confused and tired than before.

 

 

 

“I don't know what to do, Shownu. He treats me like I'm stupid and I'm sick of it. And what we're trying to do is so complicated I'm starting to think it's hopeless.” Wonho ranted, throwing his hands up in the air.

 

Shownu laughed quietly, causing Wonho to let out an indignant, “What?”

 

“Nothing.” He responded, still shaking his head and smiling.

 

Wonho rolled his eyes with a small pout on his face. He knew the vagueness that he had to use made his stories sound mildly ridiculous at best, so he couldn't exactly blame Shownu for laughing. It was quite the funny sight, if Shownu was honest. This muscular, oversized nerd in glasses that were too big for his face, wearing a worn hoodie, sipping on iced coffee with his bottom lip sticking out, pouting like a kid who'd dropped his ice cream.

 

Shownu slapped Wonho on the shoulder. “You'll figure it out, dude, don't worry too much.”

 

He sighed, looking up at the sky. “I wish I had the same confidence you do, but I don't think you'd still be so sure if you really knew what's going on.”

 

Shownu hummed softly. “No, I think I'd still feel the same.” He turned, smiling at the elder.

 

“Always the optimistic one.” Wonho sighed in return, setting his coffee down on the bench next to him, leaning back. Relaxing, for once.

 

 

 

Minhyuk felt dizzy. Nauseous. Disoriented. The world tilted around him at a whirling pace, causing him to lurch to the side. He felt a burning in his palms as he fell forward onto the pebbly soil under him, the rocks poking into the tender skin of his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly before inhaling as deeply as he could, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat, then opening them.

 

Oddly, his surroundings stirred a memory in his subconscious. It was as if he didn't recognize where he was, and yet knew exactly where he was supposed to be going. Shakily, he got to his feet. As he glanced around he realized he was on the outskirts of a city, surrounded by what seemed to be farmland. The scent of strawberries permeated the air. He inhaled fondly; strawberries were his favorite fruit, but the smell made him nauseous after a while.

 

Within a few moments, he started to feel drawn towards the inside of the city. It didn't seem like he had a choice, anyway. The farmland appeared to go on forever, and the only structures in sight were the buildings that made up the city. He pressed his lips together as he eyed the distance, then started on his way.

 

 

 

“So what do you even do for work, anyway? Or am I not allowed to ask that question?” Shownu asked, biting into an apple.

 

“You can ask.” Wonho laughed. “I'm a tech person, of sorts. I used to work in the town we live in doing odd jobs, but with everything that's happening...” He sighed. “Hyungwon and I don't have time to be distracted.”

 

“Sounds like you're really invested in whatever you're doing.” Shownu commented.

 

Wonho shrugged. Regardless of the fact that he couldn't say much, he had no idea what he would say. When it came down to it, he'd started working with Hyungwon because it was something incredible and seemingly untouchable. After just a few months, however, he had genuinely thrown himself into what they were trying to do. Almost more than Hyungwon.

 

The quiet hum of an airplane flying overhead was the only sound that filled the air. Shownu seemed to let go of the lack of response and merely sat back against the backing of the bench, pushing the apple he was holding around in the palm of his hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the elder with a sympathetic and somewhat knowing look, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

 

 

 

Minhyuk's feet hurt. To put it plainly, he was tired. But he kept walking anyway, knowing that something was waiting for him at the heart of the city. It's surroundings were overgrown, like the world outside the city and farms didn't care to listen to the busy humans that hacked away at nature, calling them a mere inconvenience. The sound of birds followed him as he pulled off his flannel, tying it around his waist. The first beads of sweat created a light sheen to his skin, telling him that the walk to come was going to be more tiring than he'd originally anticipated.

 

Eventually, after what seemed like a week, after nightfall, he managed to end up where his brain was telling him he needed to be. Where that was exactly, he wished his subconscious would tell him as well. He turned in a circle, absorbing his surroundings. A river was on one side of him, a small neighborhood nearby. It felt so familiar, and yet he barely recognized it. The flicker of some of his dreams sparked in the back of his mind.

 

With gently placed steps, he walked through the neighborhood, passing by familiar looking houses. His footsteps were nearly silent, like he was a ghost, not meant to be there, merely passing by, observing. His feet led him towards an edge of the woods. There was a nearly unnoticeable dirt path that led farther into the treeline, overgrown with bushes, vines, and thorny branches.

 

There was a tenseness in Minhyuk's shoulders that came with the fact that he had no idea what to expect. A shiver ran down his spine at the sounds that came from the forest, from the city. The fact that there seemed to be more peace in the woods with the untamed animals than with the officials that choked the streets of the city was saddening, however he found no shock, nor surprise in this fact for reasons unexplained.

 

Careful hands pushed away the various branches that blocked his path as he made his way farther inwards, soon reaching a broken looking greenhouse. He looked it over for a moment, trying to tell if it lit a spark in his memory, but to no avail. Seconds passed before he gave up, ducking through the framework where a chunk was missing.

 

It was obvious from the furniture, thoroughly worn and broken, and the various medical supplies, food containers, and blankets that were all in somewhat neat positions that someone was there often. “Hello?” He called out curiously, trying to figure out what exactly had led him there.

 

His voice echoed slightly, and no doubt traveled through the trees a small distance. No response came. Still moving with a practiced tenderness that came to him easily, he moved towards the table that stood off to one side. Pain medication, disinfectant, and various medical waste such as bloody patches and wrappers sat there. _So whoever's here is injured,_ Minhyuk thought to himself, _maybe that's why they don't want to come out. If they're here._

 

“I won't hurt you. I'm not that kind of person.” He laughed somewhat uneasily. “It's alright. If you don't want me here, I can leave. I'm... I'm not sure why I'm here in the first place, to be honest.”

 

Waiting in the silence that followed his words, he pressed his lips together, tension creasing lines across his forehead. At the same time that he was concerned for his own safety, considering he had no idea what could be waiting for him, there was also worry in him for whoever was living here. Birds chirped outside the shattered walls of the greenhouse, and he could see squirrels scampering through the tree limbs. However, as he watched them, his gaze caught a piece of metal, resting against one of the support beams. A figure stood behind his own in the reflection.

 

Fear shot through him. How else was he supposed to react? With an unsteady breath, slowly, Minhyuk turned. In front of him stood a figure he recognized all too well; the boy who refused to give him peace. He looked older than he seemed in Minhyuk's dreams, like recent stress had aged him. Neither of the pair seemed to know what to do, but Minhyuk noticed tears welling in Changkyun's eyes.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked with concern, moving forward.

 

With a choked sound, the younger moved backwards, nearly tripping and falling. The tears spilled over from where they had pooled in his eyes, streaking down the pale skin of Changkyun's cheeks. It looked as if the blood had drained from his face, like he'd seen a ghost. The boy inhaled almost desperately, like the oxygen had been knocked from his lungs. His voice came out choppy, rough, and almost inaudible.

 

“Minhyuk?” He asked, tone trembling.

 

 

 

“So. Do you think you can ever tell me what exactly you do, oh mythical time traveler?” Shownu asked, poking Wonho's side, oddly persistent.

 

Wonho swatted his hand away and shook his head yet again. “I swear, if you're doing this to come off all mysterious-”

 

Shownu was cut off by the elder. “Do I look mysterious to you?” He asked sarcastically. “I haven't slept in two days, my diet currently consists of McDonald's and coffee, and I'm seriously considering if killing Hyungwon is worth the prison time.” Wonho rushed out, rubbing his eyes.

 

As usual, approaching everything with humor, Shownu merely joked, “So do you want me to buy you another coffee?”

 

Before he could respond, Wonho was interrupted by Hyungwon appearing in front of them. “You need to come back.” He said, his tone indecipherable, yet Wonho knew it was something he hadn't heard from Hyungwon before.

 

Awkwardly trying to signal that Shownu was there and that they should probably talk elsewhere, or at least make some introductions to be polite, Wonho cleared his throat and jerked his head in the direction of his friend. Hyungwon's gaze slowly shifted to take in the other, expression unchanging. Without saying a word to him, much to Wonho's mortification, however, not to his surprise, Hyungwon spoke again. “Now.”

 

“Is this important, or... I'm finally getting to take a break.” Wonho asked in disappointment.

 

“Minhyuk's missing.”

 

Wonho finally realized the tone of Hyungwon's voice as he spoke, something he wasn't used to hearing from the elder. Panic. Quickly, he turned to look at Shownu, starting to open his mouth. Shownu just smiled. “It's okay. Go do your job. You know where to find me, yeah?”

 

With a grateful nod, Wonho moved to stand next to Hyungwon and they both disappeared, leaving Shownu sitting on the bench alone, a thoughtful look on his face. He looked up at the birds as they dove for scraps of bread and other foods that had been dropped by pedestrians. “He's changed.” Shownu mused aloud to himself. “Definitely changed.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna incorporate ships but at the same time I don't??? Idk yet. Hope ya'll enjoy this tho


	5. Five

 

Minhyuk watched in uncertainty as Changkyun visibly struggled with the decision of whether to hug the elder or not. The period of awkwardness ended with Minhyuk giving him a soft pat on the arm to try and comfort him, but the result was Changkyun bursting into full on sobs, no longer able to hide his crying. The tears were long overdue, it seemed.

 

It was weird. He felt obligated to comfort Changkyun, but the fact that he had no idea why the younger was reacting the way he was stopped him at first. He could feel the signs of an oncoming migraine appear when he realized he'd been dreaming about someone real, someone he'd never met before. And now he was in a strange city, with a very vague idea of how he'd gotten there, with some poor kid who couldn't stop crying.

 

With the smallest roll of his eyes, purely at the fact that he was in such a ridiculous situation, he pulled Changkyun towards him and wrapped his arms around him. The younger seemed more than grateful, tucking his face in the crook of Minhyuk's neck, gripping the back of his shirt as tightly as physically possible.

 

After a couple of minutes had passed, Changkyun slowly released him, a small apology passing his lips. He refused to meet Minhyuk's gaze, as if he were afraid of what he could find there. The lull in conversation was filled by Changkyun sniffling and Minhyuk awkwardly shuffling his feet, trying to figure out where to avert his eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft, like he didn't want to disturb the silence.

 

Changkyun gave a mere nod in return, knowing damn well he was lying straight to his best friend's face. Was he even still Minhyuk's best friend if Minhyuk didn't remember him? The thought made his heart sink and bile rise in his throat. The knowing look on Minhyuk's face was one he was all too familiar with, yet he pretended not to see it. It was easier on the elder that way.

 

“How did you get here?” Changkyun finally asked, throat clogged with emotion.

 

Emotionally, physically, and mentally worn down, Minhyuk chose to tell the truth, though it made him sound and feel as if he'd lost his mind. “A watch.” His tone held a sense of exhaustion that was almost permanent, having made it's home there. There was no energy left in him to continue explaining, but it didn't matter.

 

The way that the expression on the younger's face shifted told him he knew exact;y what was going on. With eyes that appeared haunted, Changkyun finally met his gaze. “How much do you remember?”

 

 

 

 

This was the first time Wonho had seen Hyungwon truly nervous. He was pacing back and forth through their small space so fast, he was sure there was going to be a path worn into the carpet once he'd finally stop. Neither of them spoke as Wonho focused on trying to figure out where Minhyuk had disappeared to. They had known that the tracker on his watch was faulty, so it was completely possinle that they'd accidentally stranded the younger anywhere in all of the universes. The thought made him swallow harshly.

 

“You preset the watch to take him to Changkyun, right?” He asked, the stres seeping through into his voice.

 

Hyungwon barely acknowledged him, giving the tiniest nod as he kept pacing. Then, he thought better of practically ignoring the elder. “Yes, but I already checked on Changkyun. He was still at the factory. He didn't get out for another hour. I checked the greenhouse, too, no one was there.” He spoke.

 

“Did you set the watch to a specific time, as well?” Wonho asked, hitting a few keys.

 

“I... don't remember.”

 

An exasperated breath exited Wonho's mouth in a huff. Whatever patience he'd managed to scavenge up was quickly slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. He squeezed his eyes shut, praying that when he opened them everything would be back to normal. Of course, the world wasn't that kind. He pressed a few more keys, and the situation got worse. “The tracker I put in the watch isn't working. He isn't anywhere with internet; that's how it functioned. Are you sure he isn't with Changkyun?”

 

Hyungwon seemed to be getting more exhausted by the minute, his eyes downcast. He'd finally sat down. “I told you I looked.” He replied simply.

 

“I'm gonna double check, we can't be too careful.” Wonho stood from his chair, pulling on a jacket. Spring nights had been ushering in a brisk chill to Changkyun's world.

 

Hyungwon remained seated, shoulders hunched, leaned forward, like he was carrying a weight that wouldn't let him go. Pressing his lips together, trying to pretend it wasn't awkward, Wonho reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it briefly. The younger of the two looked up, but let his head drop again before he could make eye contact. Resisting the urge to cringe at just how uncomfortable it was, Wonho left swiftly. Reappearing near the greenhouse, he made his way inside.

 

 

 

“Those 'dreams'... they're not dreams.” Changkyun spoke quietly, still not trusting his voice.

 

“So I figured.” Minhyuk replied dryly, almost laughing.

 

Changkyun gave him a small, sad smile, and ran a hand through his hair. “I know it's not the same- it's never gonna be the same. But you saw what we went through. Is it selfish that I want you to stay?” He asked. He'd only seen Minhyuk for about an hour and already it was instinctual to be honest with him.

 

Minhyuk shook his head slowly. “No, not from what I've heard. You're just gonna have to be patient with me. I don't know if I can leave my world for...” He trailed off, giving a long look to the area outside the greenhouse.

 

This, though completely expected, sent a sharp pain through Changkyun's chest. He nodded in understanding; from what he'd been told about the worlds the rest of the boys came from, his was by far the worst. He could never expect, could never truly want to the point of attempting to convince, Minhyuk to give up what he had for Changkyun.

 

“Then can I ask you for a favor?” Changkyun asked quietly.

 

Minhyuk hesitated before nodding his permission. Changkyun got up from where he was sitting and moved to the couch, pulling one of the cushions up. Under it rested scattered sheets of paper. He gathered them into a messy stack before straightening it and handing them to Minhyuk. “When you were gone I wrote you letters.” His voice had dropped in audibility and held a slight hint of what seemed to be embarrassment. “Read them, please? If you don't want to just because I asked, they'll also explain some of the things you dreamed of. I wrote them down. I was... afraid. Of forgetting.”

 

The elder's heart lurched. It was obvious that somehow he meant a lot to this kid, more than the things he'd witnessed in his dreams. Yet he couldn't remember him, just the things he'd dreamed of. Guilt threatened any thought of refusing his request, and so Minhyuk gently took the papers. They were worn, ink slightly smudged from it not drying properly before Changkyun had shoved it between the fabric of the couch, and tried to give him a reassuring smile.

 

As soon as the papers were removed from his fingertips, he appeared to be relieved, like a small pressure was removed from Changkyun's body. Like the memories he'd written down, that originally belonged to the both of them, had been weighing him down when he was the only one left to hold them. “How exactly am I supposed to... get back, though?” Minhyuk asked hesitantly, knowing the question would only hurt the poor kid.

 

Changkyun hid it well, but not well enough, as he glanced around. “I have this friend. Well, not quite friend, but he visits sometimes. He'll help you get back. He should be coming sometime today, so...” He pressed his lips together, not knowing what to do after he finished speaking.

 

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows in acknowledgment and carefully tucked the letters he'd been handed into his jacket. At that moment, there was a loud clatter as a figure attempted to duck into the greenhouse and hit their head against some of the paneling, drawing a yelp of pain out of them. Changkyun sighed. “Yeah, that's definitely him.”

 

Wonho stumbled into the room, wincing, one hand holding the top of his head. Mirroring the expression on the youngest's face earlier, his face turned from shock to relief when he saw Minhyuk. “Oh, thank God, you're here.” He sighed.

 

The amount of confusion in the room was palpable. “What do you mean? You didn't know he was here?” Changkyun asked, turning to the eldest.

 

There was muttering from him about Hyungwon being unprofessional and Minhyuk acting impulsively. “Can you help him get back to his world?” Changkyun asked, interrupting Wonho's rambling.

 

“What do you mean get back? He's not staying with you?” Wonho asked, obviously shocked, looking between the two.

 

“I'm sorry, but who is he? How does he know me?” Minhyuk cut in, looking baffled.

 

“I'm, uh-”

 

“-he's...”

 

The two collectively failed to find an explanation, until Wonho just pointed towards the watch that was hanging from Minhyuk's belt loop. Minhyuk glanced down before looking up. “You're the one who left it?” He asked, his tone accusatory.

 

“Oh, no, not me. Not my job. That's Hyungwon.” Wonho replied defensively. “I'm just the tech guy.”

 

This time, Minhyuk turned to Changkyun. “Who's Hyungwon?”

 

“The resident robot.”

 

“Basically our boss.” They replied at the same time. Changkyun sighed. “Stop calling him that behind his back, you know he hates it.”

 

Wonho shrugged, then jumped when a voice behind him said, “Yes. Stop.” flatly. Busted, Wonho raised his hands in surrender, and turned so the taller was visible. He knew an apology was in order later, and mentally slapped himself on the back of the head. Hyungwon walked past him, putting on the neutral front that was himself, and stopped in front of Minhyuk. There was a second of silence. “Wonho, take him home. I'll talk with Changkyun.” His tone was firm; there was no room for argument.

 

After waving a very awkward goodbye to Changkyun, Minhyuk allowed Wonho to set a gentle hand on his arm and they disappeared. Changkyun refused to let the emotion show on his face and looked away from where they had been standing, instead looking up at Hyungwon. The other was studying him with a carefully guarded expression, probably trying to judge how he was feeling. “I'm all good.” Changkyun said, waving his hand dismissively.

 

Hyungwon tilted his head, trying to weigh the truth in his statement. He then realized what he was doing and forced himself back into an upright stance. “Minhyuk can't come back until we get Jooheon back.” He stated abruptly.

 

“What?” Changkyun asked, shocked and understandably upset. “Then why did you give him the watch? It's literally meant for time travel.”

 

“We wanted to give him back his memories. It made reintroduction easier. We didn't think he'd figure out what it was for or how to use it so soon. It's too dangerous and him traveling will attract unwanted attention.”

 

“Didn't you see the universes where he figured it out early? Why did you still choose to give it to him?”

 

“I did. But I also see statistics.”

 

Changkyun dropped onto the couch somewhat dramatically, ironically resembling Hyungwon himself just a couple hours ago. With his head tilted down, hands over his face, his voice was muffled. “You can't treat us like lab rats forever, Hyungwon. You get so upset when Wonho calls you robotic, and yet you act the way you do. If you really care about what you're doing, both you and Wonho, then you have to decide whether we're worth it. You always say we can't attract attention from the 'wrong people' and keep us in the dark, but it can't work that way anymore. Something's gonna go more than wrong. Then what will you do?”

 

His question was met with silence. Slowly, he looked up, to be met with an empty space and empty air. Hyungwon was gone. Changkyun refused to let the frustrated tears that were stinging his eyes fall.

 

 

 

Around a week later, Wonho was on his way to visit Shownu. He'd decided to visit their regular coffee shop beforehand to, for once, gift Shownu a cup, feeling accomplished despite the fact that things didn't go as perfectly as he would've liked between Changkyun and Minhyuk. He walked down the street towards Shownu' studio, climbing the wooden stairs with light footsteps. Fingertips slipping over the worn paneling, he slid the door open and stepped inside.

 

Coffee scattered across the ground as it was knocked out of his hands, spilling over the flooring in a sudden splash. Vaguely, he realized the liquid was burning his leg, but his attention was focused elsewhere. Shownu was in front of him, a hand on Wonho's throat, the barrel of a gun pressed against his stomach, a look on his face that Wonho had never seen before. Seriousness, a hardened expression that wasn't Shownu.

 

“What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Wonho?” Shownu breathed out as he realized who he had pinned against the wall, moving away, but retaining a closeness that no seemed more protective. The hand that held the gun dropped to his side as he looked at the other like he'd pulled the world apart with his bare hands.

 

 

 

 


	6. Six

Wonho was preparing to shove Shownu away from him when he heard several pairs of footsteps outside the door. There wasn't much talking, just an inaudible discussion that only lasted a couple of seconds. Shownu moved closer and put his hand over Wonho's mouth, looking at him with a warning expression that told him to stay quiet.

 

They listened carefully as the footsteps outside moved around the building, but never cam in. Most likely scoping out the place, Shownu assumed, or trying to see if he would dare step outside. Unfortunately for them, he was smarter than that. Looking back at Wonho, he lifted his hand off of the other's mouth, but brought a finger to his own lips as another warning.

 

Reaching down, he silently removed his shoes, gesturing at Wonho to do the same. With gingerly placed steps, they moved across the wooden floor towards a storage closet that was well disguised. Shownu had almost moved them inside, and they were close to being completely hidden, when Wonho accidentally stubbed his toe against the bottom of the door, causing the slats to rattle.

 

In one fluid movement, Shownu had shoved Wonho in and followed, closing the door behind him. Pushing down the overwhelming annoyance at the elder's clumsiness, Shownu moved next to him and tightened his grip on the gun in his hand.

 

It was obvious the noise they had made traveled outside, as they heard quick steps up the staircase and the door slid open. Wonho inhaled sharply and started moving backwards. Jaw tightening in frustration, Shownu pulled him into his side so he wouldn't budge, and put his hand back over the other's mouth, just in case. The build of the door made it hard to see details of the three figures that had entered the studio.

 

As they moved closer to the closet entrance, his grip on Wonho tightened, and he slowly raised the gun to the door. He turned to glance at Wonho to make sure he was okay, and was met with large eyes, wide with fear. He attempted to put on a reassuring look, but quickly redirected his attention back towards the door of the closet.

 

“They were just here. Spilled coffee.” A voice said, lacking all semblance of emotion.

 

“They knew, then.” Another chimed in.

 

The rest of the discussion was low as they shifted boxes and sifted through gear. What they were looking for, Wonho couldn't even begin to guess, other than, obviously, them. The thought sent a chill down his spine.

 

Seemingly having given up on searching, the figures looked around one last time before filing out of the space, leaving the two to stand there for several minutes, making sure they were gone, before dropping their stiff posture with a breath of relief. Shownu stepped away from him, tucking the gun away. “Are you alright?” HE asked, a phrase that seemed to be gaining more and more popularity among the group.

 

Wonho nodded, though he was shaken. Shownu rubbed a hand across his shoulder before shoving open the door to the stuffy closet, causing them to scatter out, trying to regain their awareness. Surprisingly, nothing in the room was really disturbed, like they'd put the stuff they moved back perfectly. Even the puddles of coffee had remained untouched.

 

There was a stillness, like neither of them wanted to talk about what had just happened quite yet. They stood in place, Shownu looking out one of the windows as if he were waiting for them to come back, Wonho staring at his feet. The air was disturbed by Shownu moving back towards the closet, pulling out a mop, and starting to clean the mess he'd created earlier.

 

Lips pressed together, Wonho pressed the heel of his palm into his forehead, lines creasing the skin there from him screwing his eyes shut. He was aware of Shownu finishing cleaning and crossing the room to stand in front of him. A hand wrapped around his wrist, tugging it down away from his face.

 

“I need you to take me to Hyungwon.” Shownu said in a tone that implied this wasn't a request, but a statement.

 

A confused frown tugged at the corners of Wonho's mouth. “Shownu... I never told you his name.”

 

His only reply was a gentle, knowing smile in return, tinged with what seemed to be a hint of sadness.

 

 

 

 

“Um, Hyungwon.” Wonho addressed him nervously. “Shownu wanted to speak to you.”

 

Hyungwon had been leaning over one of the desks, writing something on a pad of paper. The scratching of his pencil halted, lead hovering over the crisp sheets. He seemed to be waiting for something, perhaps waiting for someone to speak. When the moment didn't come, he turned in his chair and eyed Shownu. They looked at each other with an expression that communicated something that Wonho couldn't figure out.

 

“I was wondering when you'd catch up.” Shownu stated, his tone low.

 

“I was wondering when you'd do this.” Hyungwon replied simply.

 

They looked like two predators, looking at the other as if he were his prey. With precis movements, Hyungwon rose to stand in front of Shownu. “You don't have to do this.” He said. There was no hint of begging, no desperation. He was merely stating a fact for him to consider.

 

Shownu's tone was the same as he replied with, “But you know I do.”

 

It was the first time Wonho had seen Hyungwon look defeated. There had been a lot of firsts those past couple of weeks with Hyungwon. Emotion was cracking through a previously pristine and well-maintained mask, and for once, Wonho didn't know if he wanted to see what was underneath. “What are you two talking about?” Wonho asked, stepping up to move between them, sensing the thick tension.

 

He was ignored. “Prove to me that you are who I think you are. I'll do the same, if need be.” Hyungwon said, tilting his head back slightly, as if challenging the elder.

 

A small pause. “Agent X, status report.”

 

Hyungwon's jaw tightened dangerously at those words, eyebrows lowering in controlled anger. With a deep breath, “Agent X, status 100%.”

 

With that having passed, the two stood, Hyungwon glaring with fury at Shownu, Shownu looking at him calmly. Wonho, confusion causing a flurry in his head, pushing Hyungwon backwards towards his chair, and moved Shownu to sit on the couch nearby. The taller remained standing, though Wonho and Shownu allowed themselves to sink into the cushions. “What the hell is going on?” Asked the eldest, patience finally snapping.

 

“What has he told you?” Shownu asked, tilting his head, but not breaking eye contact with the subject of conversation.

 

“Nothing. Well, not much. I know what we're doing, just... I don't know why.” Wonho mumbled.

 

It was at this moment that Hyungwon felt everything crumble. Like the great city of Rome, the coliseums and breathtaking architecture, it was destined to fall. During the last month he knew he'd been trying to repair marble with school glue, like a little kid trying to tape back together a vase he'd broken, shamefully trying to hide the accident from his parents. Who he was trying to hide from, he didn't know yet. Maybe himself.

 

Acceptance kept his mouth shut, jaw locked together like there was no other way for it to be. Outwardly, he was calm. Posture stiff, as usual, head tilted back with an arrogance an formality that was ingrained in his being as a human. Did he count as a person? He didn't know. Inwardly, he was pleading. Asking Shownu to just let it alone, to turn a blind eye. He had it under control, he swore to himself. He was a little kid, crying, hands cut and bleeding as his parents came home a little too early. He watched, listened, as everything he wanted turned to dust in front of his eyes.

 

“To be fair, I haven't been entirely honest with you, either, Wonho. I justified it to myself by saying that you weren't telling the truth, too, but it wasn't the same, because I knew it all anyway.”

 

And so the next couple of hours passed with only Shownu speaking. Explaining how they'd come from a group of travelers who'd taken it upon themselves to travel the infinite universes, and right what they perceived as wrongs. Whether it was someone evaded death that they thought shouldn't have, or someone they figured was a menace was thriving a little too much. They killed these people, leaving changed worlds behind them at a snap of their fingers.

 

Then, the leader, known simply as the Director, figured that humans held too many flaws, were too capable of making mistakes. She wanted to solve that. And so prototypes were made, robots that mimicked humans, except they were perfect. Perfect for their jobs, that is, but then the robots became too clunky, too obvious. They didn't hold the knack for cover-ups and excuses that some humans had.

 

So in the end, they created their own middle ground. The details of this middle ground were unknown, just that it wasn't completely human by humanity's standards, not completely robotic. Well, that's what everyone who wasn't in the loop figured.

 

Shownu, at the time, had been working tech. Go figure. Sat in a computer room every day, the entire day. It was good money, but details of the job were nonexistent, and there was something suspicious about everything that he caught outside of that room. Eventually, his smarts and curiosity got the better of him. He hacked their entire system, and got access to every bit of information available.

 

Agent X was brainwashed, to say the least. Stolen from his parents, memory wiped, raised to mimic the robots that mimicked the perfections of humanity. There was no sense of self in him, just the missions they sent him on and the machine they had raised im to be. If emotion showed up, he was brainwashed again. If he made a mistake, he was brainwashed again. So throughout trial and error, he became what their purpose would call perfection.

 

After finding this out, Shownu stopped digging. He closed the files, erased any evidence from his computer, and continued his job. Getting out of what he was involved in wasn't exactly an option. Every time he stepped in that room he felt sick.

 

Then, one day, Agent X was late returning from a mission. Shownu had been walking down the hall when he'd heard the report. His stomach clenched. That wasn't going to end well for the poor guy, but there was nothing he could do for him. And then it started getting later and later, and the Agent was still missing. There were whispers that his tracker had malfunctioned.

 

Sensing a chance, Shownu packed his things and disappeared, taking one of the watches that were so common in the building with him. It'd taken years for him to stop looking over his shoulder constantly. He settled down, found out a system to have eyes and ears wherever he wanted them, and decided to open a studio to teach self defense, with a nice little cafe down the road.

 

And then ,one day, he'd seen a flash and there was a man standing in the middle of the road to his studio, looking completely lost. Emotion radiated off of him, frustration, Shownu had guessed. And when he glanced down at the man's wrist, there was a watch that was all too familiar to him. With a grin on his face, he'd slid the ticking metal off of his own arm, tucked it into his pocket, and walked forward, asking the man if he was lost. He'd been greeted with a bright, warm grin, and a sheepish nod.

 

 

 

Hyungwon, after this, was hunched over in his chair. The story tumbled to a messy close, wrapped in a ragged bow of apologies and “I should've told you”s that went straight past Wonho's ears. Wonho looked like he was about to be sick, his expression towards Shownu pure hurt and betrayal. He didn't even glance at Hyungwon as he got to his feet, fumbling to pull a watch out of his pocket, ignoring a saddened “wait” from Shownu before vanishing.

 

The air in the room was empty. There was no excuse that Hyungwon could make, no reason for him to even try to find one. “I'm sorry, but he needed to know the truth.” Shownu said. The genuine softness to his voice made a bitter taste flood Hyungwon's mouth.

 

There was no way to tell whether or not Hyungwon was shaking from anger or shivering from fear until he looked up, eyes tinged red, tears on his face. He'd returned to a child, pushed into infinite worlds he had no idea about, doing things he was told were right. “Tell me something, though. Why them? Specifically?” Shownu asked.

 

Hands clenched into fists, Hyungwon called forward memories he'd long pushed to the back of his mind. “February 21st, 2012.” A shuddering breath, a reclenching of his jaw. “Yoo Kihyun and Lee Jooheon. They were 'too dangerous,' they said. Kihyun was supposed to be a math genius, probably along the lines of Einstein, and travel the world. Jooheon was gonna start a sanctuary for rescue animals. Adopt a couple of kids.” He laughed humorlessly.

 

“Did you know,” Hyungwon began again. “just how easy it was for them to fix my mistakes? I choked up. They waved their hand and suddenly the two friends were dying in a car crash. Two young kids, who were gonna run away and get out of a torturous society, beaten to death over some strawberries.”

 

He was vaguely aware of Shownu wiping his cheeks. “I saw them arguing. It was over something stupid, like who had won a game. Kihyun shoved Jooheon, and Jooheon laughed and mussed up Kihyun's hair. Kihyun was trying to pretend to be mad, but they started laughing and I... I smiled.”

 

Hyungwon finally looked Shownu in the eye for the first time. The desperation was finally there in his expression, like a dam had broken and he just needed someone to understand. Shownu had gotten emotional, though if asked, would never admit it, and they both remained still. After years, despite everything that had just gone wrong, it was, if anything, nice to be in a room with someone who knew their secrets, though they barely knew each other.

 

Of course, peace never lasted. “They're searching for you. They're getting close.” Shownu spoke, Hyungwon nodding slowly; he knew. “You could use another set of hands. To help.” Shownu continued, the smile returning to his face when Hyungwon nodded again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be another half chapter soon! Hopefully this isn't getting confusing to read and the plot's making sense. I promise Jooheon will be added I haven't forgotten about him.


	7. Letters to Minhyuk

__

_Do you know how lonely it's been without you here? Can you even begin to guess? Probably not. I feel so stupid, writing these letters, as if someday they'll get to you. Sometimes I trick myself into believing that one day I'll get a response. Truthfully, it makes me feel better. I never even send them anywhere, though. They just sit here, like they're laughing at me. At least you're not in the same boat that I'm in, though. If I had the chance to trade places, I wouldn't._

_I don't think anything could be worse than forgetting you, forgetting everything we've gone through. It just hurts so much to miss you, like you carved out a part of me and took it with you, and I have no idea how to get it back. Or if I even want to. This Hyungwon guy could be completely conning me, but it's not like I'm losing anything, right? Who knows. Maybe one day you'll look me in the eye and laugh at me for being so stupid, for believing you'd leave. I've never wanted to hear you call me an idiot over something this badly before._

_Today was rough. Whenever I see your parents everything hurts so much more, like I can feel the loss they carried before their memories were wiped being balled up with mine. I stepped out of the factory today and the wind had blown the smell of strawberries far enough from the fields that I could smell it, and I threw up on the spot. Will this get any easier?_

_Earlier when I was working I remember the time we'd been playing in the woods. I forget how old we were, probably too old to be playing hide and seek, but you never really cared much for rules, especially ones that society made. I'd climbed one of the trees, thinking it was a good hiding spot, and it was. Too good. You ran around for a while, yelling m,y name, before I realized you were panicking. I couldn't get down, though, remember? I'd yelled for you and I can't remember any other time you'd run that fast. You helped me down and hugged me so hard I thought you'd crush my rubs, and being my stupid self, it took me equally as long to realize you were crying. You made me promise to never disappear like that again, said that you thought guards had done something to me. I think you forgot we were playing hide and seek, 'Hyuk. We never did play it again after that, did we? I don't think I realized how much weight was on your shoulder before. I'm sorry._

_Today Hyungwon showed me a video of you. You work at a coffee shop now, as a waiter. Honestly, when I saw it, I was glad, for once, that he left right away. I bawled like a fucking baby. Just dropped and cried. I don't know how long I was like that, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're okay._

_You're not okay, are you? So many things are too good to be true, like this entire situation. Hyungwon, being himself, admitted to me that you were miserable. Alone. Was I selfish, 'Hyuk? Was I wrong? Should I have left you in the field, with the birds and the flowers and the breeze? I don't think I'll ever stop apologizing, I don't think I can. Things haven't ever gone right since you left._

_There was a bombing today, somewhere near the city. Thank God it wasn't here. I was at work and it shook the building. I'm not sure, maybe it was all that dust it caused that looked like smoke, but it reminded me so much of the fire. And then I realized you're not here to pull some miracle. It dawned on me, like a punch to the gut that I can't count on you to be my superhero. Do you know how rattling that is? To realize over and over, in every situation, that you're not around anymore? You've always been the person to pick me up, dust me off, and set me back on my feet. And now you're gone._

_Some days I get so angry that you're not here. I wonder why in the name of God why we had to eat those strawberries that day. Why you have to like those disgusting things so much. I hate that you were stupid enough to think that we could get away with eating them in broad daylight, I hate that I know you did it on purpose. You thought I didn't know how you felt, that you didn't care what happened to you. You got so cocky in those last few months. It was like you were a completely different person. I knew it was coming. We both did, didn't we? It was either gonna be me witnessing it firsthand, or finding you and knowing you were alone in those last few moments. In a sick, twisted way, I'm glad I was there, so you weren't alone. But I hate that you were willing to let me see it. I hate myself for believing you could be superman and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders forever, protect me forever, after everything you'd been through already. But I could never hate you, and sometimes I swear I wish I could. Because hating you would be so, so much easier than all of this._

_I had a late shift today, so this morning I made food, just bread and beans, and took it with me to the field. I visited your grave, even though I suppose it's empty. So much has happened since you've gone, and I needed somewhere to feel safe. Other than the greenhouse, it's anywhere you might have been. Might be. Apparently you got promoted to head waiter. Congratulations, 'Hyukkie. You deserve it, now more than ever. Things like this make me wanna tell Hyungwon to forget about the whole plan, leave you to your own life. It's selfish and gross to expect you to wanna come back, just because I'm here. Would you let me be selfish, even though that's all I've ever been? No, don't. If you're happy, it's the only thing that I want in this world. In every world. I could go through anything knowing you're happier somewhere else than you were here. He told me that the cook there saves you a strawberry milkshake for you to take home after work. That made me smile. It's so weird, the things you can do in your world that would get you punished here. Killed. And I never even dreamed I'd have to see the day I'm no longer part of your world. For me, Minhyukkie, remember to smile. I'll grit my teeth and stay quiet if I know you're somewhere smiling._

_Your parents died in an accident today. Whether it was actually an accident or not, no one knows. No one bothers guessing anymore. I wanted to go to their funeral, but no one from your family knows me now. Plus, I think it would've been too painful. It seems like there's nothing left for me here, and I don't know what to do. Every day is the same. Too much and so insignificant at the same time. I don't really care what happens anymore, to be honest. What does it even matter._

 

 


	8. Seven

 

 

The first memory Hyungwon had was of a pristine white room. There were several people milling around somewhat idly, all dressed identically, acting like they were focused on what was in front of them. He was laying in what seemed to be a pod, an as he tilted his head forward to look down, realized he was wearing dark, muddied clothing. His hands were stained with blood.

 

Confusion evolved steadily into action, and Hyungwon pulled an arm back to raise himself onto his elbow. A passing worker noticed this and called out to the others. His head was foggy, like it'd been stuffed full of cotton fluff, nothing but emptiness echoing back at him as he tried to call forward memories. There was a hand on his shoulder, suddenly, pushing him back into the padding of the cell.

 

No one around paid any mind to him, though they talked openly about his condition. Pure calm had long been ingrained in him by that time, though he didn't know it; they'd worked on that from the very beginning; making sure he would never shake, nor be startled. Eventually, when he was in new, clean clothing, they pulled him out of the pod and led him across the room to a medical table, where they sat him. Instinct told him not to move.

 

A woman, somewhere in her fifties, stepped into his line of sight. She practically blended into her surroundings, as if they were born from her, the clacking of her heels the only noise in the room as the employees fell silent. Her hand reached for him, lifting his face by his jaw, like he was a toy for her to examine. He didn't look her in the eye.

 

Her nails dug into his cheek like claws as she tilted his head, scanning him. What for, he didn't know, nor did he care. Eventually, she let go, pushing his face away as she did. Crescent shaped marks were left in the softness of his skin. He remained still, jaw clenched slightly, sight trained on the wall behind her. Words drifted past his ears, but they meant nothing to him.

 

An annoyed sigh. A slap to his cheek that sent his head turning at whiplash speed. Still, his mind drifted, sending his attention anywhere but the room he was in. Something slammed into his back and brought a harsh, stinging pain and a grimace to his face that he quickly hid. At this, his attention snapped back to the situation in front of him. “I said status, Agent X.” The woman demanded, her voice cold.

 

His jaw clenched and unclenched in reaction to the pain before he opened his mouth to respond. “Status-”

 

 

 

A hand on Hyungwon's shoulder awoke him. He shot up straight in his chair, shoving the hadn off of him out of reflex. Shownu stepped back, hands raised in mock surrender. “You were talking in your sleep and it didn't exactly sound like a good dream.” He said, hiding the worry he felt.

 

Hyungwon mumbled an apology for his reflexes and gave an obligatory thankful smile, though it looked more pained than anything. After considering whether it was a good idea or not, Shownu spoke again. “Are you okay?” He asked.

 

Was he? Could he honestly say he was okay? After everything he'd been through and how hard he'd fought to protect the boys, carefully crafting an invisible barrier around them that had created something he could call home, and watching it be brought crumbling down by the truth. The honest truth of what he was and what he' done, a nasty thing he could never escape. He'd never felt more like the child he used to be, trying his hardest to hide from the monster under the bed. And yet, he was starting to think that monster was him.

 

However' there was no one to blame but himself. He was pissed at Shownu, that was true. If it weren't for him the truth wouldn't have come out so soon. However, it would've eventually, and the consequences could've been much worse. With such a dark history following him, there was no way they wouldn't have found out one day.

 

The pit of nausea in his stomach came back tenfold whenever Wonho's face of betrayal and disgust resurfaced in his memory. Wonho, who'd probably never looked at anyone like that before. Sure, he'd been annoyed with Hyungwon before. Yet, there had always been some semblance of patience, and even affection mixed in, like he was waiting for the day that Hyungwon would take a breath, brace himself, and spill everything he was hiding.

 

Now here he was. Alone. Simultaneously a child surrounded by a collapsed blanket fort and a king in the ruins of his kingdom, with nothing but his clumsy self to blame for it's destruction. He knew that acting the way he used to was no longer an option. Truthfully, it was the easier way out. Not having to explain himself because the others' were too distracted by the hope they were given to pressure him.

 

Looking back, it was horribly wrong. He'd never been taught any other way, but that was no excuse. So what were his options now? The truth, for one. He would give Shownu full permission to tell the others what had happened and what was going on. Both of their histories. Still cowardly, he knew he couldn't be there to watch their faces change. To watch their opinions of him go from grateful to disgusted.

 

After that, he'd have to beg Wonho for forgiveness, somehow. Give him his reasons and shame in all of it's infamous glory and ask for understanding, something he knew he didn't deserve. It'd been an infinite resource before, when he didn't need it, when all Wonho saw was someone superhuman, indestructible, and kind, though his methods were... interesting, to say the least.

 

It wasn't as if one person could change overnight, could they? He couldn't hate him, not completely. That wasn't like Wonho, not the person he was. Then what? He'd have to go check up on Changkyun. Then, he'd bring Kihyun in. It was too dangerous for him to be on his own anymore, and he was the only one alive who hadn't joined them. Then, they'd get Jooheon.

 

 

 

The predictability of where Wonho was “hiding” was through the roof. When Hyungwon popped into Shownu's universe, he was where he expected him to be. Arms crossed, sat back on the bench, watching pigeons fight over scraps of food. With an unease he was unused to, Hyungwon walked towards him.

 

At the sound of footsteps, Wonho looked up, but when he realized who it was, turned away silently. This stung, but Hyungwon didn't let it discourage him. He carefully made his way around the bench and sat on the opposite side of it from Hyungwon, giving the elder space. “I was wrong not to tell you.” He said cautiously.

 

“Damn right you were.” Wonho muttered under his breath, leaning forward to look down at the dirt under their feet.

 

Hyungwon tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, fumbling with his fingers nervously. His nerve to pick up the conversation again was fading. Wonho sighed deeply. “Keep going.” He encouraged, tone still grumpy.

 

“I... I'm sorry. I can't say I didn't think lying to you was wrong, but I didn't want you to look at me the way you are now. I'll try to fix this. I was selfish and I was using your trust in me to my advantage. I'm sorry. I don't think I can say that enough.” Hyungwon bowed his head, subconsciously trying to hide himself from Wonho.

 

Wonho pushed his hair away from his face and watched the other. In the lull of speech from the younger, he sighed again. Hyungwon, thinking that he was disappointed in the fact that he couldn't seem to put the words together, opened his mouth to try again before Wonho interrupted. “Don't. It's really awkward and I can tell you're being genuine. Just... when stuff like this is so important, you can't keep it from me. From any of us. I get that it was scary, and I can't imagine being in your place, but...” He trailed off.

 

Hyungwon nodded swiftly in agreement, just wanting to get the entire thing over with. He was relieved that Wonho understood, despite the fact that he couldn't manage to explain how he felt. Wonho moved closer and put a hand on Hyungwon's back, hoping that it would alleviate some of the tension between them. The younger looked up, a fragile smile on his face.

 

“It's gonna take me a bit to get past this, but I'll be fine. No more hiding stuff, though. Including emotions. You're not with them anymore, you don't have to act so plastic.” He said.

 

Another nod, but this one was more hesitant. They both paused, wanting to pretend that time had stopped and allowed them a moment to relax, but Shownu appeared in front of them. Both raised their heads and sighed, getting to their feet. “Are we good here?” He asked.

 

“Yeah, I think so.” Wonho replied.

 

Relief was an understatement to Hyungwon, though it faded when he remembered the fact that he'd have to face Changkyun. Yes, the youngest was most likely to bounce back from anything, but he couldn't stand the thought of disappointing him. He'd dealt with enough already. Not wanting to know the answer, Hyungwon asked, “How's Changkyun?”

 

Shownu gave him a hesitant look in return. “You've got some explaining to do, but I think it'll be alright. After all, you're giving him Minhyuk back. Practically already have.”

 

Hyungwon sighed. At least there hadn't been an outright “he hates you now, good luck” in response. He wasn't used to this. Worrying. There wasn't really a moment where he'd allowed himself to admit that he cared about what the others thought him. Repressing it was how he'd been able to remain so methodical and distant, but now he'd been forced to shed that. Adaptation had never been his strong suit when they had set him so harshly in certain ways, but as Shownu threw an arm around his shoulder like Hyungwon had seen him do to Wonho so many times, he thought maybe he could get used to it.

 

 

 

_It's already been about a year. Everything's so complicated to talk about, even when it's not supposed to be. People always say time heals all, and yet nothing's changed. I always wait an extra ten minutes after work to see if somehow you'll come to walk me home. Some days it's so difficult to deal with the fact that you're not coming. I tell myself you're running late , or were too busy and that you're waiting for me at the river. Of course, you're never there. Why would you be? I'm wondering if I'll have to wait another year, or five more years, or ten. I've gotten used to Hyungwon, though he can be... odd, he means well. I know you're somewhere serving coffee and rolling your eyes at rude customers and it makes me smile. I'm glad you get to live in a world where-_

 

The last letter cut off there, like Changkyun had been interrupted, or had gotten distracted by something. Minhyuk's forehead wrinkled in confusion. The pause made him realized that he was crying, and he quickly rubbed away the tears with the sleeves of his sweater. He laughed at himself, at how ridiculous it was for him to cry over something he didn't know. And yet, it seemed he did. Everything Changkyun had written had checked out. The date he said Minhyuk died lined up with about as far back as Minhyuk could remember, and there were so many dreams that Changkyun had wrote about long before they'd reached Minhyuk.

 

Flashes of what seemed to be memories had appeared as Minhyuk read, filling in some blanks. However, it left enough holes that, inconveniently, he was still left confused. If anyone had walked into the room he was sure he would've looked hysterical. Laughing and crying into his hands, curled up in a chair in his living room, letters scattered around him.

 

Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the ceiling. He almost wished there were more letters left. It was so much easier reading someone else's thoughts than having than having to talk to them and dealing with both parties ending up in tears, which he knew would've happened if he'd talked directly to Changkyun.

 

He had no idea what to do. It was obvious he meant a lot to the younger; that point had been made a long time ago. Changkyun's world wasn't exactly a paradise, though, and there was nothing tying him to it except his own grave and the younger himself. Bringing Changkyun to his world was an idea, but would the younger do it? And if so, how would you approach something like that? Making a life with someone you knew, but didn't.

 

Of course, the first thing they had to do is talk. There hadn't been a moment when he'd had the opportunity to sit down and speak to him, to discuss things. He was sure that his own silence was bothering the other, either with worry or annoyance. Communication would be his next goal.

 

Minhyuk looked up, glancing at the clock on the wall. Dimly lit by the lamp, it read 2:55 AM. He sat up, stretching out the aches in his body, and started gathering the letters, treating them with care. He wasn't sure what he'd do with them, whether he'd keep them or give them back. They were important, either way.

 

Once he'd picked them up and stacked them all neatly he walked towards his room. The door creaked as he pushed it open, setting the pile gently on his bedside table. He pulled the watch from his pocket and set it on top before climbing into bed, blankets pulled up to his chin. There was a warmth to the room as he fell asleep, gaze on the papers until his eyes fell shut.

 

 

 

Wonho pushed the grocery cart down the aisles somewhat aimlessly. He'd asked for a list of things to get, and all he'd gotten was a note from Shownu that he just wanted chips, the flavor not mattering. How he stayed in shape when all he ate was junk food, Wonho had no idea. Whatever seemed quick and easy to make he threw in the cart.

 

He'd put himself in charge of any type of grocery shopping, taking advantage of the opportunity for time away. With Hyungwon being more honest came more honest reactions and emotions from him, and it was weird to get used to. The first time he saw Hyungwon jump from a loud noise he'd stared at the younger until he'd turned around and asked Wonho what was wrong. It was also the first time _that_ had happened. Wonho couldn't say he wasn't grateful, though. No matter how odd it was, it was better than what he'd been before.

 

If he was honest, he was still waiting for the first time Hyungwon would laugh. Somehow, he felt that that would tell him everything was okay, that whatever those people had done to him had faded into a mere memory. One that no longer had any power. Maybe it would still effect him, and that was okay too; he didn't expect Hyungwon to be anywhere near perfectly fine, but he wanted the younger to at least be able to move past it.

 

Distracted by his thoughts, Wonho almost failed to notice the tall man in a suit with his back to him. He thought nothing of it until he noticed a watch hanging from the man's belt. Eyes widening, he quickly turned, nearly crashing his cart into someone. With a rushed apology, he made his way to the front of the store, paid for everything, and left.

 

He sent a text to Shownu to let him know what happened. A few minutes later, he got a reply. _“Yeah, you're not the only one. I was on a walk and one of them was just standing on the side of the road. He didn't notice me either, but they're definitely agents. Drive home._ _Don't use the watch._ _We'll talk when I get home. Stay safe.”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how I feel about this, it's more of a filler chapter than anything. A couple of things: just estimating I think this'll be about 20-25 chapters long, but we'll see. It was never supposed to be super long sorry about that. The second thing, I'm thinking I might start another au after this, but I'm not sure what. I'll probably also start doing short oneshots because a lot of times I get inspiration but I don't like doing full fics too often. I might also do a full like 10+ chapter book/collection of Changkyun's letters to Minhyuk just for fun, something more in depth to practice writing but something that doesn't need a ton of commitment. Idk if any of ya'll would wanna see that though (the letters thing). Lemme know what you think, and I hope you enjoyed this! The plot should be picking up soon lol


	9. Eight

 

 

“It's too dangerous.”

 

“I know, but what else am I supposed to do? Leave him on his own?”

 

“I get that the situation's not ideal, but it's our only option. Would you rather get irritation from Changkyun for a week, or deal with something much more serious?”

 

“You haven't even told me what these supposed consequences are! How am I supposed to know it's as bad as you guys say? What happened to us being honest with each other?” Wonho exclaimed at Shownu, throwing his hands up in frustration.

 

The room was tense. It had been since they'd started discussing their options. With Changkyun and Minhyuk in other worlds, all communication with Kihyun being cut off, and paranoia setting in, it wasn't exactly surprising that the rest of them were on edge.

 

After seeing the agents that day, and noticing more on their way home, Wonho and Shownu had regrouped with Hyungwon at the apartment. Hyungwon immediately decided to shut down all forms of traveling, and Shownu was leaning to agree with him, but Wonho, who was determined to finish what they had started, was protesting this.

 

“You've heard everything they did to me. Was that enough?” Hyungwon asked, a piercing edge to his voice.

 

Wonho sighed. “I'm not trying to say they're good people. Hell, you know they disgust me. But how do we know they'd bother me? They don't even know who I am.”

 

“They don't care who you are. If they think they can justify causing you pain by using their little 'cause' as an excuse, they'll hunt you down immediately. It's what they do.”

 

The three looked at each other, still undecided. Hyungwon's normally neat hair was somewhat untamed, bordering on bedhead. Wonho had managed to wrestle him into normal clothing instead of the suit he wore all the time, so he was practically drowning in the fabric of one of Shownu's hoodies. His agitated state made him seem more frazzled.

 

Shownu and Wonho were on opposite sides of the room, Shownu on the couch, Wonho sitting in his desk chair. Shownu was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, staring intently at Wonho, like watching him could will him to reconsider his opinion on the matter. The look on his face was begging Wonho to just listen to him, to trust him.

 

Wonho chewed on the inside of his cheek, considering his options yet again. Yes, he desperately wanted to help Changkyun and Minhyuk. He was more invested in their happiness than his own at this point, which would've been weird if he hadn't dedicated years to helping Hyungwon dismantle the systems that kept them apart. However, it was true that Shownu and Hyungwon knew more about the agents than he ever could. It wasn't as if he'd gone through the things they had.

 

Tensions were high enough between the three of them as it was. Ever since Shownu had admitted to what was really going on and who they were dealing with, things weren't exactly the same. Adjusting to Hyungwon acting, well, normal was interesting enough on it's own. Within a couple of days the guy had turned from mostly emotionless to an anxiety ridden mess. Wonho didn't blame him, though.

 

Stacked on top of that was the fact that he wasn't sure whether or not he could really trust Shownu anymore. He was his closest, and pretty much only, friend, and yet he kept waiting for him to announce that there was more that he was hiding. It was probably obvious to the other two as well, as they seemed to be tiptoeing whenever they were around him.

 

Logically, there only seemed to be one answer, and if it went wrong, he would know where his trust would fall. “Alright. I don't like it, but okay. I guess we get to stay home.” He sighed.

 

Shownu grinned and mouthed a “thank you” to him, sitting back on the couch cushions. Wonho shook his head at himself and the other's goofy smile, throwing a pillow across the room at Shownu. Hyungwon turned back towards his computer, satisfied that Wonho wasn't going to be doing anything risky, and the atmosphere finally settled.

 

 

 

There was a haze to the world around Kihyun as he moved through his day, pressing in on him from all sides. He knew it wasn't real, even before he saw Jooheon coming towards him, pushing open the door to his office with a bright smile that lit up the entire room. There was a desperation in him to rattle the younger, to ask questions, to shake the answers out of him when he'd finally be able to ask why he had to leave Kihyun.

 

However, he didn't, because just being near him, whether it was real or fake, was enough for Kihyun. He didn't want to ruin this space they had together, away from time and the world itself. Even if it was just a dream, he wanted to let himself believe it was reality, just for a moment. So he returned the cheerful grin on Jooheon's face with his own soft smile.

 

“Slow day at work?” He asked, ignoring the unsteadiness of his voice.

 

Jooheon shrugged and set an iced tea down in front of Kihyun, peering over his shoulder at the watch resting on the desk in front of him. “What's wrong with it?” He asked, reaching over to gently push Kihyun's hand out of the way so he could see better.

 

Not caring to make up a random problem, Kihyun shrugged. “I... haven't figured that out yet.”

 

The younger hummed lightly, looking at the elder with the same smile, dimples appearing cheerfully. Kihyun felt his heart drop in his chest, like he'd been sucker punched. As hard as he tried to suppress them, tears welled up in is eyes as he looked away. It was a dream; it didn't matter if Jooheon saw him cry. And yet he tried his best to hide, not wanting to see the concern on his best friend's face.

 

“You feel guilty, don't you? You should.” Jooheon said, tone now flat.

 

Kihyun's head whipped around, shocked. “What?”

 

“It was your fault.” His expression was accusing. “You should've stopped me from driving away.”

 

Somewhere, the line between reality and dream became blurred as Kihyun found himself sitting up in bed, tears decorating his cheeks, begging for forgiveness between sobs. His chest tightened and he felt the panic choking him as he fought to breathe, fingers gripping the blankets until his knuckles turned white.

 

It was a couple minutes later that he glanced at the clock on his bedside table, reading the time and date. A year ago, five hours from then, Jooheon had flipped his car, causing his instant death. Vomit crawled up Kihyun's throat as he tried to block the sounds of glass shattering and the crunch of metal from creeping forward in his memory.

 

Every day he tried his hardest to forget the accident, even just for a second, to try and push ahead with his life. Every day he was disappointed in himself as, inevitably, the thoughts of, “Jooheon would've loved that” or, “Jooheon would've preferred this color, maybe I should get that instead” would pop into his head, and he'd end up pushing past people blindly to get somewhere where he could just cry, away from prying eyes.

 

He was lucky, if you could call it luck, that Jooheon's parents shared their son's forgiving and loving nature. At first, they had been slightly accusing. He could feel it in the bitter undertone of their words, the roundabout statements that held a hint of, “why didn't you do something?” A couple month after the funeral, they'd confronted him with apologies and hugs and teary eyes. Since then he'd been close to the both of them, closer than he was with his own parents.

 

And maybe it was the way Jooheon's mom had started poking at her food over dinner one night, or the way his dad had refused to look Kihyun in the eye, but he knew that as the anniversary had crept closer, old thoughts had reentered their minds. He didn't blame them. In fact, he agreed with them. It was his fault, in his eyes, that he'd failed someone he loved that much so badly.

 

They had no idea, either, the extent to which he'd failed Jooheon. If they'd known that he'd been given the chance to literally stop time and had still managed to let Jooheon come out of the wreck so utterly shattered, they'd never speak to him again. And he almost wished they did know. Because he deserved every harsh word in their vocabulary, every syllable that could hold venom and resentment.

 

These thoughts plagued him as he dressed for the day. A crisp button up dress shirt, clean dress pants, and a suit jacket thrown over his shoulders. The Lee family didn't have many friends, even much extended family. Family friends lived nowhere nearby, and their extended family didn't care enough to join, but nonetheless, they planned to dress for the occasion.

 

When he looked in the mirror his face was neutral, yet underneath he was tensed with disgust. Jaw tightening, he turned away, throwing the shirt he'd worn to bed over it so he wouldn't have to see it. He knew he wouldn't be able to look at himself for at least the next week. It had been months after Jooheon's death before he'd been able to look at his own reflection, and in that time he'd learned how to make his hair look reasonable without having to see it.

 

Careful hands slicked back the strands from his face. He was sure it only made his worn appearance more obvious, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. He was going for Jooheon, and Jooheon was the one who took him as he was; no fake smiles, no makeup to hide the dark circles. After washing the gel from the palms of his hands, he threw a tie around his neck and knotted it, eyes staring blankly at the wall in front of him, before he proceeded to slip on his shoes.

 

This guarded attitude followed him to the car, then across the city to the cemetary. His fingers played with his keys as he sat in the drivers seat, staring out across the cloud-dotted sky from the parking lot. He knew it was obvious there were ghosts following him, hauntings from the many mistakes he'd made, regrets that whispered that he could've done better. That he could've tried harder. But the point in which he would've cared what they had to say had already passed and left him alone.

 

With trembling hands that he tried to hide, he grabbed the bouquet that sat in the passenger seat, opened the car door, and pushed it shut behind him, cringing at the sound. He shoved his empty fist into his pocket, head down as he walked towards the cemetery grounds. Releasing a harsh breath, he quickened his pace, grateful the area was empty. It wasn't unusual that he beat Jooheon's parents there; he usually did.

 

It was alone that he placed the flowers onto the dirt and grass that had made themselves home above his best friend. He found something interesting in the way he had chosen those flowers just to return them to nature, to let them rest as a gift to the person who'd left him.

 

A soft hand on his back let him know that he wasn't the only one there. He turned and was met with the solemn faces of Jooheon's parents. He nodded at them and turned to leave, pacing about fifteen feet away. It was per tradition that they spoke to their son first, and he knew they preferred to be alone.

 

Minutes ticked past as he watched the birds fly past, chirping at each other, filling the otherwise empty air. His brain automatically filtered out the sound of crying , something he shouldn't stand to listen to. He had enough sorrow of his own to deal with.

 

Some time later they made their way over to him. Greetings and hugs were exchanged, with promises of seeing each other more often, and I love you's that he knew were only directed at him because they couldn't say it to the person who deserved it; hand-me-downs that weren't meant to fit him. Then, after a small bit of catching up and reassurances that they were doing well, they parted ways. His parents never did stick around long, finding the cemetery eerie and depressing.

 

Now alone, Kihyun returned to the flower decorated headstone. Loosening his tie, he sat on the ground next to it, not caring that the soil was getting on his pants. He simply sighed. “Long time no see.”

 

“I should come see you more often, I know. Sad, right? I can't even come up with an excuse.” He scoffed at himself. “After so long I don't even know what to say to you anymore. Not many interesting things happen anyway. A couple months passed and people stopped asking how I was doing, stopped asking about you. It's like once everyone else has forgotten what happened I'm supposed to, too. Maybe someday I will. When I'm old and gray and somewhere around eighty, maybe you'll pop into my head one day and I'll be shocked I hadn't thought of you in five, ten, twenty years. Maybe I'll even come back here and sit in the same spot and talk to you again.”

 

He paused for a moment, catching his breath, and pushing away tears that had spilled over. He'd cried enough already. They'd mixed in with his morning coffee, the water in the shower, the fabrics of Jooheon's old shirts. It was tiring, to cry that much. “But I don't want that. I don't want to forget. Your parents should have the luxury of moving on, you know? They're thinking about adopting and I'm happy for them, but once they move on, who's gonna remember you? It's not like we were the most popular people.” He laughed dryly.

 

It was true. Though Jooheon was charismatic in every way, work and hobbies kept him busy enough that he had many acquaintances, but Kihyun was his only true friend. “So I guess it's just you and little old me, as usual. I hope that's good enough for you.” His voice was small. Quiet. “It'll always be good enough for me. And I'm trying to fix this, but I never want to get my hopes up. So unless I succeed, I'll always come back here, okay? I'll always come back to you.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was slow paced but I feel like I haven't talked about Kihyun and Jooheon enough in this so far, so here ya'll go. I promise this isn't pure angst jsjdsjdhdsjsdhjsd


	10. Nine

Changkyun paced back and forth across the greenhouse floor, chewing on the skin around his thumb's nail. His bare feet sunk into the grass that had grown over the paths that, at one time, long before he'd discovered them, were neat and clean. Stress clung to every pore of his skin, heating every breath he drew. This wasn't new, but it was never something he'd grown used to, nor did he want to.

 

Anxiety had set in the first time Hyungwon and the others hadn't checked in. It was a set routine, and even if they were busy or focused, they'd appear, even just for a few minutes to let him know everything wasn't going alright, that they hadn't forgotten about him. And then suddenly, they stopped. Changkyun had waited as patiently as he could, knowing that they were far busier than he was, until the rising sun was coaxing him to sleep every night he stayed up waiting.

 

His thoughts slipped through the restraints of calm like sand through his fingers. Worry ate at him. Who knows what could've happened to them; he had no way of telling. Hopelessness began to set in. Of course everything would go wrong as soon as he got Minhyuk back. Good things never lasted, not for him.

 

There was a lack of logic in his thoughts. Anxiety and overthinking pushed him to make assumptions, but it wasn't something he could help. With the things that happened so often in his own world, it was a habit conditioned in him from the paranoia that had kept him alive for so long. _Better safe than sorry,_ Minhyuk would always remind him with a smile.

 

If he didn't have this instilled in him from a young age, he probably would've felt the same way, though, as a gut feeling fueled the fire. Something was wrong, he just knew it. He pulled his thumb away from his mouth when he tasted blood, cringing.

 

 

 

Kihyun was getting impatient, to say the least. After visiting Jooheon's grave, the nightmares only got worse, which led him to thinking that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to ask for Hyungwon's help. The other had previously explained that joining him and his partner was the best option if he wanted to get Jooheon back, as he'd already been through a numerous amount of instances trying to save him.

 

After realizing he needed help, he'd waited. Patiently. Waiting for Hyungwon to reappear as he did occasionally, always giving Kihyun a chance to change his mind. And he was left waiting. He wasn't one to rely on other people, so being let down pissed him off.

 

Then, he remembered the last time he had seen Hyungwon. The lanky man had actually spoken to him, programming his watch with different clicks and dials turned, before handing it back, saying simply, “If you change your mind.” before leaving.

 

Something along the lines of, “Well, fuck it” crossed Kihyun's mind before he clicked the side of the watch.

 

 

 

“This guy has the worst timing ever. Of all time.” Shownu, who'd been previously introduced to Kihyun, was pressing his fingertips over his eyes, shaking his head.

 

The situation was, to say the least, confusing. Hyungwon didn't even look like himself. Wonho looked as if he was ready to burst with stress, and Shownu was a new card in the deck altogether. The discussion was taking place around him, and he was very quickly realizing there was more going on than he had initially been aware of.

 

It seemed like hours went by of them talking, and him realizing that, yeah, Shownu was definitely right. He had to be grateful that they didn't direct their frustration and anger at him, which they could've very easily justified, but instead acknowledged that he had no idea what was happening. However, the hope he had left abandoned him when he heard Wonho say, “Well, you guys were the ones who told me we can't travel. There's no way we can help him. Traveling once was risky enough, but over and over? We can't do anything for Jooheon right now.”

 

“Are you guys serious?” Kihyun asked, gritting his teeth.

 

“Unfortunately, yes.” Shownu replied, obviously feeling guilty.

 

“I'll do it.” Hyungwon spoke up.

 

They all turned towards him in disbelief, Wonho scoffing, “So this ban on all time traveling is just gonna get thrown out the window because he needs help? You were the one that was so adamant about how dangerous it is!”

 

Hyungwon shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with the frustration that was being thrown his way. He knew it was hypocritical, yes, but the reason he had started this was to save Jooheon. Minhyuk and Changkyun had already reunited, though the intricacies of how they were adjusting were unknown to Hyungwon. With the realization that they were already halfway to where they needed to be, Hyungwon stopped caring about what could happen to him.

 

He looked up at Wonho, and the look on his face told the other everything he needed to know. Hyungwon had already made up his mind. He was going to help Kihyun no matter what any of them said to protest. “This is gonna go horribly wrong I already know it.” Shownu said to one on in particular , looking up at the ceiling.

 

 

 

It had been seen before, thousands, millions of times. The shattering of glass, the screech of metal folding in upon itself, sliding against the road before it came to a standstill and burst into flames. There was a stench of gasoline and burning rubber that Hyungwon forced himself to ignore. He pressed down on the watch and the car rolled back, unfolding, flames extinguishing seemingly on their own. Time to try again.

 

Kihyun had ducked out a long time ago, claiming he was exhausted, but Hyungwon knew it was more mental and emotional than physical. Going through something like this over and over while having a personal connection was probably more than stressful, more than damaging, and so Hyungwon had merely nodded and quietly wished him a good night.

 

It was funny, Hyungwon thought, how long he had been trying to fix this same scenario, and yet technically, no time had passed at all. The fluidity of time slipped around him, like silk. Then, suddenly, Jooheon's car screeched to a halt. Intact, upright. He leaned over, looking for something in the glove box.

 

Hyungwon took a breath before jogging forward, halting by the driver's side window. He tapped gently on the glass, giving the younger a smile when he rolled down the window. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I noticed you have a flat.” He shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

 

“Crap, seriously? I don't have a spare on me.” Jooheon bit his lip.

 

“You might wanna call a tow truck, it can be dangerous, driving like this.”

 

Jooheon nodded in agreement, somewhat glumly, and pulled out his phone. He flipped the visor down to reveal a phone number, and a picture of him and Kihyun smiling. He pulled the note off of the visor and pushed it back up, unbuckling his seatbelt. Hyungwon stepped back and allowed him room to open the driver's door, following him around the side of the car.

 

Indeed, the back right tire was certainly flat. Jooheon sighed in annoyance, rubbing his eyes. “Alright.” He sighed to himself. “This is fine. It's not like it's gonna be that expensive or anything.”

 

Hyungwon pretended not to hear him stressing, and instead played with the sharp, pin shaped object in his hoodie pocket. Jooheon dialed the number, holding his phone up to his ear, tension visible on his soft features. The elder kicked at some loose gravel on the road, averting his eyes so he wasn't awkwardly staring at the younger. Jooheon wrapped the conversation up quickly, hanging up within a couple of minutes. “Hey, if you don't mind... um, would you mind sitting with me until the truck gets here?” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing sheepishly. “I have a thing for roads like this. They creep me out, and it's getting late...” He trailed off, biting his lip.

 

“Yeah, no problem.” Hyungwon replied, leaning against the hood of the car. “I'm Hyungwon.”

 

“Jooheon.” The other replied, relief relaxing his expression.

 

 

 

That night was rough for Changkyun. With the guards acting suspicious he had to sleep in his house, inherited from his parents, instead of the greenhouse. Memories ran wild there, ingrained in the walls and floor, woven into the fabrics of the curtains and sheets, which is why he tended to avoid it. He still paid for it, still made sure it was clean and not collecting dust, but sleeping there was a completely different story.

 

He'd wrapped himself up in a blanket, pushed his mattress against the wall, and laid facing it so he didn't have to look his past in the eye. It still remained near, however, echoes of his memory unlocking themselves and running free. He remembered all of the times he and Minhyuk had chased each other around the house while doing the dishes, bubbles piled up in the palms of their hands.

 

There had been a time that Minhyuk and Changkyun decided to bake a cake for Changkyun's parents' anniversary. It had been a disaster, and his parents had come home to a messy, partially burnt cake and a spotless house. They still loved the gesture, though, cutting off the burnt parts and eating it with smiles on their faces.

 

The reason the house was spotless had remained between the two boys, however. Halfway through baking, Minhyuk thought it would be funny to smear batter on Changkyun's cheek, which caused the younger to declare war. It should've ended when Changkyun had to wrestle the other and held his arms down, ignoring his protests, and pulled him across the tiny house to toss him onto Changkyun's bed before walking away.

 

Minhyuk had taken this as a challenge and had gotten up, jumping onto the younger's back and using his hand to smear the batter that was on his cheek across his entire face. When they stopped antagonizing each other, they'd realized that something was burning and the kitchen was a mess. Even the wall had a splatter of cake mix on it.

 

It was miraculous for a job so rushed that they managed to completely clean up before his parents had gotten home. There were no traces left of the mischief they were causing, except for the tiny dot of batter in the corner of Changkyun's mouth. When their backs were turned, Minhyuk swiped it off with his thumb, and excused himself to go get another piece of cake.

 

Changkyun's heart clenched at the memory, wondering if he'd ever be able to create any more like that with the elder. He knew Minhyuk had the option to live his own life; Changkyun wouldn't protest if that was the decision that was made. And yet as he fell asleep, he knew his reality would come crumbling down if he lost Minhyuk altogether.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a wee bit shorter than my usual goal, but next chapter will be longer and I'll finally add fluff that doesn't have a depressing ending lol


	11. Ten

As usual, the convincing part of the introduction to time travel was the hardest bit. Jooheon wasn't stupid. He had lived in a world so sheltered and naive towards the idea of time traveling that when Hyungwon first started speaking to him, he brushed him off as some crazy dude he had run into on the road.

 

Then, it was kind of hard to argue with time travel when he teleported Jooheon wherever he requested to go, trying to prove that Hyungwon was lying. They ended up a lot of places that Kihyun would've recognized; parks, diners, etc. Jooheon could trace every change that had previously been made that was reversed by them traveling back in time, or changes that weren't there before that had been made in the future.

 

It was difficult to explain why Hyungwon had to introduce himself to Jooheon. It's a shock, which could be seen as the understatement of the century, to be told you were supposed to die. That Kihyun had been trying to survive without him for just over a year. Unsurprisingly, as Kihyun had warned them, Jooheon had started crying.. Wonho looked guilty, like he was the one who had made him cry and not the circumstances, Hyungwon awkwardly shuffled his feet as he stood there, unsure what to do. Shownu was the one who got up and grabbed him a tissue, giving the others looks.

 

When he finally stopped, they asked him if he wanted to see Kihyun, or wait. While Hyungwon had been gone Shownu and Wonho had talked, knowing that since they had already broken the vow not to travel, more trouble was to come. Minhyuk would probably want to see Changkyun again, and it wasn't as if they were going to bring Jooheon and have Kihyun wait however long it would take to reunite them.

 

So they agreed that they would just have to deal with whatever was thrown at them as the consequence. It was almost worth it, in Shownu's eyes, knowing how happy they were going to be. Almost.

 

Jooheon agreed to seeing Kihyun, despite his fear of the situation. He had no idea how stressed the other probably was, how he must've felt. If the situation had been reversed he wasn't sure if he would've been capable of living without Kihyun, and and knowing the other was going through stress he couldn't imagine, he shoved his anxiety aside and wanted to make sure he was okay.

 

With that decision made, Hyungwon disappeared, leaving Jooheon with Wonho and Shownu. Wonho offered him a cup of coffee, Shownu squeezing the youngest' shoulder in encouragement before returning to the book he was reading. Why they were so welcoming, he had no idea, but he was grateful for it. Wonho sat down in his chair, spinning slowly. “I wonder if Hyungwon would let me get a dog.” He mused aloud; the comment seemed to be aimed at Shownu.

 

Shownu lowered his book, making a face. “I'd be surprised if he isn't afraid of dogs.” He replied.

 

“Yeah, you're right. Plus, we probably can't afford it.” Wonho agreed, tone disappointed, like a kid who'd been told no when he asked for candy.

 

Jooheon quietly laughed, sipping on the coffee. He had to wonder if all of the reassurance was for his benefit or their own, as they seemed slightly nervous, like they were waiting for Hyungwon to get back. Their wait was soon over, though, as he popped back into view, this time with Kihyun right beside him.

 

Visibly unsteady, Kihyun stepped to the side, trying to regain his balance from the disorientation that came from traveling. Kihyun finally opened his eyes, starting to form words to complain about how dizzy he was when he saw Jooheon. He froze, voice stuck in his throat. Within seconds he was throwing himself at Jooheon, clinging to him like he was the rarest thing on Earth.

 

Though later Kihyun would throw things at them out of embarrassment if they brought it up, he was a sobbing mess. No one could blame him. Jooheon, upset because Kihyun was crying, was also in tears. Wonho had to leave the room so the situation wouldn't get worse, as he was a sympathetic crier, and Shownu and Hyungwon merely tried to leave them in peace.

 

Kihyun held onto Jooheon, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid the amplification that tear-clouded vision would cause to his dizziness. “You're okay.” He breathed out harshly, resting his forehead against the younger's shoulder.

 

“I'm okay.” Jooheon confirmed, smiling through his tears, dimples more prominent than ever.

 

 

 

After they had mostly calmed down, Wonho returned to the room.”I think you should go get Changkyun and Minhyuk. There's enough room for them and maybe they need somewhere away from both of their worlds to get used to each other again. Plus, if things get awkward they'll have other people to talk to.” He muttered to Hyungwon.

 

Hyungwon nodded slowly, thoroughly processing the suggestion. After a moment, he turned and grabbed his coat, knowing that it was around dusk for Changkyun, and disappeared again. When he reappeared at the greenhouse, Changkyun was curled up on the couch, writing. At the sound of footsteps, he glanced up in panic. “I thought you had died or something.” He said tensely, setting the paper aside and leaning forward.

 

“I'm sorry. It was too dangerous to travel, and we had no way to tell you.” Hyungwon apologized quietly.

 

Changkyun shrugged, ignoring the fact that he had been ripping apart his thumbs with worry. “Wonho's going to get Minhyuk and bring him back to where he stay. We figured it would be easier for you to talk if it wasn't just you two... if that makes sense. Hyungwon said, stumbling over his words.

 

The younger's eyes lit up, obviously enthusiastic about the idea of being able to see Minhyuk again. He agreed immediately, putting the paper he had been holding underneath the couch cushions and stepping towards Hyungwon, who copied the movement and allowed the younger to grab his arm. He hadn't traveled with Hyungwon before, but he'd seen it done enough to know what to do.

 

 

 

Changkyun and Hyungwon arrived back at the apartment right after Wonho and Minhyuk, creating an awkward pause. Minhyuk and Changkyun looked at each other for a moment before Minhyuk gave a weak smile and opened his arms, inviting the youngest of the group in for a hug.

 

He accepted the opportunity and took a couple of steps forward, allowing Minhyuk to move the rest of the way, pulling him in and letting the younger tuck his head into the crook of his neck. He rested a hand on the back of his head, “I read your letters.” He mumbled quietly, head tilted so only Changkyun could hear him.

 

Changkyun made a small hum of acknowledgment. A quiet sound, like he didn't really want to think about the things he had written about, the things he had gone through while writing them. He knew it was probably sympathy that had driven Minhyuk to offer a hug, not memory or true affection, but he was willing to take what he could get.

 

They separated, moving to sit on the couch together next to Jooheon and Kihyun, who were now catching up. Shownu was still reading his book in the recliner next to Wonho's desk, Wonho in his chair mumbling something about code. It was an interesting gathering to say the least. Everyone was emotionally exhausted, and there was quiet chatter of conversations long awaited that needed to be had, though no one wanted them to be heard, filling the room. “Uh... sleeping arrangements.” Wonho spoke up, hesitantly.

 

Shownu glanced around. “We've got plenty of blankets and pillows, considering Wonho hoards them.” He continued, ignoring Wonho's indignant _“Hey!”_ “A couple of people are gonna have to sleep on the ground, but it won't be that bad. I'll give up my bed.”

 

They brought the others into the conversation as they discussed where everyone was going to sleep. Kihyun blatantly refused to be separated from Jooheon, and no one blamed him. It was decided that the two could take Shownu's bed. Minhyuk and Changkyun offered to take the floor, near each other, but not suffocatingly close. Hyungwon ended up on the recliner, slender enough to be able to curl up there, Wonho taking Hyungwon's bed, Shownu on the couch.

 

It had become a habit within the past few months for Hyungwon and Wonho to get ready for bed together. It was a bit of reliance that Hyungwon allowed himself without feeling guilty about it. It was funny, how stiffly Hyungwon had held his toothbrush in the beginning. They brushed their teeth and washed their faces together silently. It was a way for Hyungwon to figure out Wonho's mannerisms without them having to talk.

 

By the time Hyungwon had rinsed his mouth out, Wonho was done, so he stepped out of the bathroom, giving someone else the chance to get ready. They weren't used to seven people in the small apartment, all of them having to squeeze into what minimal space there was. Kihyun stepped in, replacing Wonho's presence.

 

As he put toothpaste on his toothbrush, he paused, “I, uh, wanted to say thank you. For everything you've done, for all of us.” Kihyun spoke awkwardly.

 

Hyungwon nodded, not sure how to reply, as Kihyun quickly brushed his teeth and spat out the remaining toothpaste, rinsing his mouth. He knew the other wanted to get back to Jooheon as quickly as possible, and stayed silent as he left. It was then that it hit him. He had done it. He'd managed to save them, after so many years of what seemed to be pointless efforts.

 

Tears rushed forward. He almost laughed as his legs started to give out, causing him to lean against the wall for support, a hand over his mouth as he cried with relief. The sound of the door clicking open didn't register for him, but the hand on his shoulder did. Shownu pulled him forward, echoing the motions that had played out for the rest of them just earlier that day.

 

It was awkward at first, but then again, what wasn't when it came to Hyungwon? He fumbled, trying to hide his face, but Shownu merely pulled away and tilted his head up. “You can cry. You're home. No one's gonna judge you, especially after the day we've had.” His voice was gentle, pushing away strands of hair that were stuck to Hyungwon's face from his tears.

 

Once he stopped crying, Hyungwon stepped away, looking down at his feet. “I'm gonna wash my face.” He stated quietly, his voice waterlogged.

 

Shownu nodded in understanding, handing him a tissue before he left the bathroom. Everyone else had already gone through their nightly routines, leaving Hyungwon alone for a few moments. He pushed his hair back, then grabbed a towel, turning on the tap, and splashing his face. The cold water pushed itself into his pores, clearing some of his senses.

 

He stood up straight, looking at his reflection. It was quite obvious he'd been crying; he was thankful they were all trying to sleep. Shownu's words rang in his head. _You're home._

 

 

 

The morning came around slowly, lazily. The risen sun had filtered through the blinds, and created a soft light. The living room window had been left open during the night; one small area with seven people could get suffocating. A breeze pushed gently at the curtain, brushing across Shownu's skin. He stirred, turning his head. Finally, the smell of food reached him, causing him to wake up properly.

 

He rolled off of the couch, stepping over Minhyuk and Changkyun's sleeping bodies, before heading towards the kitchen. Kihyun and Hyungwon were at the stove, silently fixing what looked to be pancakes. The two seemed to have a system worked out; Hyungwon poured the batter and Kihyun would wipe the container with a paper towel. They moved as if they had been around each other all their lives. “Morning.” Shownu whispered, as to not wake the others, voice rough with sleep.

 

Hyungwon turned and gave him a timid smile, Kihyun merely waving the spatula at him and saying, “Come help.”

 

Shownu pushed up his sleeves, stepping into the tiny kitchen. He washed his hands quickly, grinning has he stepped between the two. “What are we doing?” He asked cheerfully.

 

 

 

Somehow, they managed not to burn the batch of pancakes that Shownu had taken over for, though it was as if he was trying his hardest to char them. He was a genius at everything but cooking, it seemed. Kihyun pushed the taller aside, nudging him away from the stove. “I've changed my mind. We don't need you near anything that can catch fire.”

 

Shownu laughed, accepting the statement as true. “Make some coffee, maybe?” Hyungwon suggested, just tone just as sleepy as Shownu's had been.

 

The eldest nodded in agreement, turning towards the coffee maker. The other two looked back to the stove, Kihyun giving a light push to Hyungwon's hand, using the spatula to flip a pancake. Footsteps alerted them to someone else entering the room.

 

Changkyun stood in the doorway, stretching his arms above his head. His hair stuck up wildly in various places, reminding Shownu of a cockatoo. He snorted, filling the coffee maker with water and pressing the start button. Changkyun went to lean against the counter next to him, only to jump forward when the toaster went off, popping two pieces of perfect golden-brown bread up. His shout of fear echoed throughout the apartment. “What the hell was that?” He wrapped his arms around himself, eyes wide with shock.

 

“It's called a toaster,” Shownu laughed in amusement. “Makes toast.”

 

The youngest shot him a glare that wasn't quite serious, rubbing his forearm in restrained anxiety. At this point, Minhyuk appeared in the doorway, looking over everyone to make sure they were okay. “Coffee's done. I'm out of here before the kid decides to fight the toaster.” Shownu announced, bumping the younger playfully with his shoulder on the way out.

 

“You alright?” Minhyuk asked under his breath.

 

Changkyun nodded, heart finally slowing down. Minhyuk followed the second-eldest out of the room, flashing a reassuring smile as he did. There was a pause, and then, “Hey! I'm not a kid!” In an insulted tone as he turned to go find Shownu.

 

Kihyun laughed quietly, nudging Hyungwon. “Go ahead and get the syrup and butter. I'll put the food on the table.”

 

 

 

They all sat around the living room, eating. Wonho finally joining them, looking disorientated after Shownu woke him up, shoveling pancakes and eggs into their mouth. The conversation was surprisingly normal considering the circumstances that had united them. Kihyun was debating with Shownu the very important topic of how tomatoes were viewed as a vegetable instead of a fruit in society, and whether or not that should change the classification. Changkyun and Jooheon, unsurprisingly, were discussing dog breeds, Wonho listening intently to the conversation, too tired to join in right away. Minhyuk had hopped into the first pair's conversation, starting a whole new round of debate with the statement, “Well, pumpkins are a fruit, not a vegetable, so there's that.”

 

Around half an hour later, there was a lull in the talk when Changkyun piped up with, “Hey, where's Hyungwon?”

 

“I think he said he was going to the store to get some milk. He should be back soon.” Kihyun replied.

 

There was a collective pause before Changkyun spoke again, changing the subjet. “Hey, so what do we do now? Just... go our separate ways?” He seemed hesitant, like he didn't like the idea.

 

“Nah, not after all of this.” Shownu said, several of the others nodding in agreement.

 

“So what are we now, a clan?”

 

“We're _the_ clan.” Minhyuk said in a serious tone before laughing. Changkyun grinned. _The_ clan was something he could get used to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest I was gonna add a bit at some point where someone said to Hyungwon "You're a monster, X" but it's too cringey of a pun and I wouldn't be able to take this fic or myself seriously if I did sjdhdshdshjjsdh but I felt like the clan was a reference that fit and will work. Hopefully. and I hope this wasn't too repetitive or anything.


	12. Eleven

The apartment settled into peace as they all broke off into different groups. Kihyun returned to the kitchen to wash the dishes from breakfast, feeling guilty that they were taking up space and causing a mess in the apartment. The soft sounds of talking and the dull clinking of dishes against each other created a homey, calm ambiance that Kihyun hadn't experienced in a long time.

 

It had been quite some time since he'd been a part of this kind of contentment. He and Jooheon had carved out their own little piece of serenity in the universe; their apartment had been a break from the outside world, something so full of pressures and expectations that nobody wants to deal with, but that had ended a while ago. After Jooheon had died, Kihyun had wondered if he hd been the source of the shield that protected the two, not the both of them together.

 

Breaking the silence, Shownu's voice came through the doorway from the living room. “I'm gonna go look for Hyungwon, he's not answering his cell. Don't worry, though, this has happened before. He gets distracted; he's probably petting a cat or something. You guys should take the chance to do something and get a breath of fresh air.”

 

Kihyun barely paid attention as the others made plans within earshot. A couple of them decided to go to an aquarium Shownu had commented about earlier, a couple deciding a simple walk would be the best thing after the chaos that had been happening. Wonho announced that he would be staying at the apartment to deal with somethings going on with his computer, something about a glitch, and Kihyun piped up to agree with his plan.

 

After they'd all discussed where they were going to be, the others started getting ready to leave, then made their way out the door in pairs, Changkyun and Minhyuk promising to bring back souvenirs. As much as he hated to admit it, it was almost a relief to Kihyun when they left. The sentiment wasn't directed at Jooheon, but the rest of them were a bit much, a little too loud at times for Kihyun to deal with. The break would be nice, but he was sure that once he got used to them, he wouldn't be able to imagine life without them.

 

Kihyun moved to the living room, enjoying the silence that had spread throughout the apartment in the absence of five of it's residents. Against the wall, a heavy looking bookcase stood in the corner, adding a warm, protective presence to the area. It was stuffed full of books, looking somewhat untouched. He guessed that Shownu had been the only person in a while to go through them, though he wasn't surprised; Hyungwon and Wonho probably didn't have the time to read.

 

He brushed his fingers lightly over the spines, noticing that some were more worn than others. Read more frequently, probably. “Shownu's the big reader here.” So he was right. “There's a bookstore nearby if you don't like the look of any of the ones we already have. You can go get some, if you'd like.” Wonho offered.

 

The younger responded with a quick, “No worries.” and started looking through them. Time passed with him picking through the books and Wonho at his computer, typing rapidly. There were few disruptions to the silence beyond the clicks of the keyboard and the fluttering of pages.

 

It was odd for Wonho. The silence, that is. Ever since Shownu had become a part of the team, he was used to playful banter directed at him, or comments on the book he was reading being thrown his way as he worked, but Kihyun wasn't that type of person at all. Sure, during breakfast he'd joked around with the rest of them, him and Minhyuk not biting their tongues when it came to playful insults, and yet now it seemed like Kihyun just wanted to settle down for a bit.

Looking back on how the situation was a couple days ago, or even a few days ago, it made Wonho wonder how things could change so much in such a short amount of time. That, and how it was possible for such different people from such different worlds to end up in the same circle. The future was just as confusing to think about. There had been a mutual agreement, whether verbal or nonverbal, that they would all stick together. How could they not, after everything they had gone through?

 

The title of the Clan made Wonho laugh. He knew at first it had been a joke, and yet later as they talked about it it had taken on a more serious tone, without the mocking aspect to it. Changkyun had been almost delighted at the time. It made Wonho wonder if he was eager to heave a family after he'd lost what little he had. There was no doubt that they had all taken on a protective role towards the youngest of the group. When he'd burned his tongue on coffee at breakfast, they'd all turned their heads at the small, shocked sound he'd made, and there was fondness on all of their faces as he'd attempted to use an iPhone for the first time.

 

Even Hyungwon, who'd acted as if he were uncomfortable with being around so many people, had reached over to help Minhyuk wipe syrup off of Changkyun's cheek, flushing when he saw everyone grinning at him. It was sweet, in it's entirety, seeing Hyungwon care for someone, considering his previous attitude, and everyone who had known him long enough noticed the change.

 

It was going to be complicated, but that wasn't new to them. Of course, they might split up into their previous pairs, with separate apartments. If they all got jobs they would be able to afford a place big enough for all of them, but Hyungwon and Kihyun both seemed to prefer the quiet, something that wouldn't be so common with seven people in the same living space.

 

And what if some of them wanted to stay in their original worlds, somewhere familiar? He doubted Changkyun would be the one to make that decision, considering what little he would be leaving behind. Wonho was sure he'd follow Minhyuk wherever he was allowed. Kihyun and Jooheon, however, had previous jobs and lives, and could choose to rewind time to the moment right before he died to go back to the way they'd been before.

 

The pang of sadness he felt at the thought took him aback. Even after dedicating years to try to fix the wrongs that had been done to the rest of the Clan, it still surprised him when he realized how attached to the others he was. Of course, being a total loner except for a couple of other people would do that to you.

 

It was with fondness that he looked back on the memories he had with Shownu, how he first met him. There was a sense of relief that came with it, the happiness associated with the fact that he'd found someone he got along with after a little while. Yes, he'd had Hyungwon, but that wasn't saying much, considering how he used to be.

 

 

 

Wonho's thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the door, startling both him and Kihyun. They rose, Kihyun from the floor, Wonho pushing his chair back as they looked at each other cautiously. Hhe muttering a small, “Stay back” to Kihyun, who moved towards the kitchen, standing in the doorway.

 

As soon as the elder opened the door, three men in suits shoved their way in, roughly pushing Wonho back into his desk chair. They pressed him against the back rest, pinning his wrists to the arm rests, yanking his sleeves up harshly. Without hesitation, one of them ripped off the watch that had left it's mark there, throwing it against the wall so it shattered.

 

Kihyun made the mistake of drawing in a breath of surprise. The three turned to look at him, narrowing their eyes in an uncomfortable unity. “Send him back and take his watch. The only one left is Hyunwoo.”

 

In all fairness, Kihyun made a good attempt at getting away, even knocking over dining room chairs to black their paths as he made his way to the balcony. And yet they got past the obstacles and caught up with him almost too easily, one of the agents getting a firm grip on his arm. Before he was taken back to a world that he no longer wanted anything to do with, he saw Wonho's panicked eyes. Then, he was at home, rubbing his forehead, thinking, _“What time is it? Crap, I'm late to work again.”_ dashing out the door.

 

 

 

“It's about time you came around.” A feminine voice spoke.

 

Hyungwon fought to open his eyes, feeling the drowsiness that weighed down his eyelids so heavily he knew he must've been drugged. The voice prodded at his memories, bringing forward an anxiety that he had no idea of the source to. He lifted his head slowly, forcing himself to awaken properly and look around the room.

 

The first thing he noticed wasn't his surroundings, but the uncomfortable digging of restraints into his wrists and ankles, the numbness in his limbs that came from being in one position for too long. Then, the crick in his neck. He shifted his shoulders in discomfort before he recognized the suffocating white that wrapped around him. Then, the woman in front of him.

 

“Welcome back, Agent X. We've been looking for you for quite a long time.”

 

_Not again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear at some point they'll be happy and it'll last longer than a day. (And I swear my updates will go up past 2k per chapter again.)


	13. Twelve

“I will admit, you were hard to track down. We taught you a little too well. Then again, we never expected you to have the guts to try to leave. It's not like you.” The director said, observing him with a neutral expression as she spoke.

 

“You don't know me. That thing you created was never me.” Hyungwon spat back, pain and frustration bubbling up in him.

 

“You've gotten an attitude since you left.” She replied dryly. “We'll fix that, don't worry.”

 

Hyungwon let his head tilt back, clenching his jaw at the ache that spread through his neck and spine. It was obvious they had kept him drugged since they had captured him, which, judging from the throbbing he was feeling, was probably a while. Normally something like this would never need to happen, but every other time he had been in the prison they'd created he'd come back after making them happy, after completing one of their twisted little missions.

 

He pulled at his wrists, testing the restraints, which didn't even budge. Her claw like nails were suddenly digging into his cheek, something that sent his memories flashing towards the front of his mind like a warning sign. He jerked his head back, pulling his face out of her grip. This seemed to anger her; she wasn't used to him acting with a mind of his own.

 

A harsh stinging rang through the back of his head, adding to the list of pains that he was quickly chalking up. The fight left him at that, at the familiar punishment that sent him back to the emotionless state that suppressed any part of his personality. It wasn't in him to fight, not his instinct. It was their fault, the organization, but it was something he'd never been able to get rid of, no matter how much Wonho and Shownu had reassured him. That's when it struck him. _'Oh God, what did they do to the Clan?'_

 

 

 

Jooheon was confused, to say the least. He and Changkyun had been at the aquarium with Minhyuk when he was dragged away from the others by arms out of nowhere. The next thing he knew, he and the youngest were sitting in the dirt, both bewildered and dizzy, Minhyuk nowhere to be seen. “Where are we?” He asked, glancing towards the other.

 

Changkyun's face was pale as he looked up. “We're in my world.” He breathed, eyebrows drawn together. “Where's Minhyuk?”

 

Looking around revealed nothing of the other Clan member. “I don't think he's here.” Jooheon spoke slowly.

 

Their breathing was shaky from the shock and disorientation of being uprooted so suddenly. They sat there for a moment together, trying to collect their thoughts and settle their breathing, before the younger stood and brushed the dirt off of the fabric of his jeans. He reached out a hand to Jooheon, pulling the older to his feet.

 

“We'll just wait at the greenhouse for now. Maybe one of the others know what's going on.” He said, though his voice didn't come across very confidently.

 

Jooheon nodded in agreement despite this, completely lost in the new world and willing to accept Changkyun as a guide. Changkyun grabbed onto his wrist, leading him towards a path that took them into the woods, though it soon faded. The other, however, continued walking steadily as if there had been no change at all.

 

A couple of minutes later they ended up at the greenhouse, pushing their way through branches and bushes to get inside. To Changkyun, it seemed as if nothing had changed since he had left. Jooheon turned and looked at him with soft eyes. “You... lived here?” He asked, glancing around the space with a concerned expression.

 

“Mostly. I have a house, but... honestly, it's easier to stay here. I get bothered by the guards left.” He replied, dropping onto the couch with a loud sigh.

 

Jooheon made a sound of acknowledgment. “So is this what you did? Before they brought you back to their world?”

 

“Basically. I work. Worked. I have to clean the house sometimes, but that's once a month. I have cards and stuff, it's not that bad.”

 

“Dude, you're the most tolerant person I've ever met.”

 

Changkyun laughed, pulling his legs up underneath him. The older shook his head and sank down next to him, pushing a hand through his hair. They sat in silence for a moment before Jooheon said, “So about those cards.”

 

 

 

Minhyuk hummed lightly under his breath as he sifted through the cafe's stock of coffee. “I don't see any of the brand you were talking about.” He yelled out of the storage room to his manager.

 

“I could've sworn we had at least one more bag. It's fine, Minhyuk, you can head home. I'll see you tomorrow.” Was the response he received.

 

He stood from where he was crouched in front of the crates, leaving the stock room. He untied his apron and hung it next to the entrance, stepping outside into the cool night air. The smell of rain hovered about lightly, the first the town would experience in weeks when it finally fell. A sweet relief from the warmth that had pressed in unforgivingly.

 

He was grateful to get home, tossing his keys in the general direction of the couch, and making his way towards the kitchen. With the same carelessness he rifled through the fridge, trying to find leftovers that he wouldn't have to bother to heat up. No luck. A groan left his mouth, deciding it wasn't worth it, that the strawberry milkshake the chef gave him would be enough till morning.

 

The steps he made were uneven as Minhyuk attempted to take off his shoes as he walked. One landed next to the coffee table, the other ended up kicked under the bed. Almost dramatically he dropped face down onto his bed, setting his milkshake on the nightstand. Though his routine was the same a always, drinking or eating as he scrolled through his phone, something felt like it was missing, but he couldn't tell what.

 

 

 

Shownu told himself he could've known better as soon as Hyungwon didn't come home at a reasonable time. Yes, he had told the others that sometimes he got distracted, but it had been a lie. Hyungwon was usually very punctual, coming back exactly when he said he would, even if it wasn't enough time to do what he wanted. It was something that had been drilled into him. Shownu hadn't wanted to worry them, considering things had just gotten as close to normal as they could be.

 

It was foolish. After having berated Hyungwon for lying to protect the others from a truth he thought they would be better off not knowing, he did the same thing when it came time for he himself to make the decision. Shownu sighed. Now here he was, hiding, probably the only one left who remembered exactly what happened.

 

He silently praised Hyungwon's smarts when it came to the idea of making a safe house somewhere unrelated to any of the Clan. They planned to tell the others about it, and teach them how to use the watches, but obviously that plan had gone out the window.

 

The fear that sat in his stomach, pushing anxiety through his veins, however, was at the thought of what they could've done to Hyungwon. He was their greatest asset, yes, but that had been thrown away when he disappeared. So what was their punishment going to be? They had never truly tortured him when he was Agent X, not wanting to leave marks that could be recognized after they wiped him.

 

Yes, they'd hit him as a punishment. There were rumors that it was with something flat, so the pressure was evenly placed, but Shownu didn't want to know. In any case, it was obvious Hyungwon would receive some sort of consequence for his actions, and it made Shownu cringe.

 

The weakness that his controllers had was their arrogance and carelessness. Thinking they were Gods, playing with the fate of every universe whenever they wanted, had messed with their ability to realize when they were being plain stupid. He knew they wouldn't capture the rest of the Clan, it would just be himself and Hyungwon they were after, not caring where the rest of them ended up. They would probably easily mix up where the Clan members were actually supposed to be, and if they realized, would dismiss it anyway.

 

This was the one advantage they would have against the organization. The two worries he had were what they would do to Hyungwon, and the state of the other's memories. Hyungwon wouldn't be quick to fend for himself, not once he was returned to the facility that was the source of so many of his frequent nightmares.

 

Shownu sighed, rubbing the heal of his palms over his eyes in frustration. He still had his watch, thankfully. But he knew they would be looking for him, too. It wasn't as if he posed a threat to anything but their pride, but that was what mattered most to them, and it was inevitable that he would be caught as well.

 

So what was his plan? He took a deep breath, hanging hi head forward. He might have some leverage if he went after Hyungwon himself. The action would intrigue the Director, who was used to her employees acting like scared mindless drones. But what would come out of it? In the best case scenario, the Director would let them both go, though he highly doubted she had ever been that merciful in her life.

 

In the worst case scenario, she could kill them both. Murder wasn't anything to blink at in the organization, and it wasn't like they were on the Director's best side. He didn't know if she would think they were important enough to kill, though. They could make another Hyungwon, and Shownu posed a minimal threat to them, if they used logic.

 

It was with these thoughts clouding his brain that he moved around the safe house; a small, abandoned motel in the middle of nowhere, on a planet Shownu had never even heard of. He gathered weapons; a knife, which he stuck in his boot, and his gun, that he holstered at his side. It was pointless, most likely, to take them. The Director was smart enough that she would probably have him searched and stripped as soon as he turned up, but that wasn't the point.

 

Instinct instructed him to be prepared, even if it would be futile in the end. Hopefully he would stumble in with pure dumb luck, and he wouldn't end up on the wrong end of a gun. He laughed at himself wryly, at the absolute stupidity that was guiding him in that moment.

 

Never in a million years, back when he worked in the organization where everyone was afraid of a mysterious Agent X who killed without emotion or mercy, would he imagine preparing to risk his life to save that same man. And yet here he was, angry because the agents had kidnapped him, resetting the invisible counter that told how long it would be until what they did would no longer have an effect on the younger.

 

He paused. The others had no idea what was going on, if they remembered at all. If the worst case scenario became their reality and he and Hyungwon ended up dead, they would be completely lost, unaware of what happened. Shownu groaned, throwing his jacket at the bed in the corner of the room.

 

In the back of his mind, he begged Hyungwon wordlessly to be strong. To be resilient, but to go along with what they said if he had to do so to survive. The younger was in no way a coward, he knew. After everything they had put him through, no one would be able to call him that. But he had no idea what they would do to him, what they would tell him, or where he would end up at the end of it all.

 

Shownu knew he had to act fast, to gather the rest of the Clan before he went to get Hyungwon. Changkyun would probably be the easiest to get a hold of; with nothing really tying him to his world, there would be no clues if he were to go missing. Plus, he couldn't lie, he worried the most about the youngest, not wanting to leave him alone there again.

 

So with that he gathered his things, shrugging his jacket over his shoulders. There would have to be a cooling down period, a bit of a break, before he went after Hyungwon. Traveling too much had been their downfall before, and he knew they couldn't make the same mistake again. Not with Hyungwon on the line.

 

He put together a box of canned food and clean water that had been left in the safe house for that exact reason. It wouldn't be fun, staying in Changkyun's world, that was for sure, but it would be worth it, knowing the younger was safe the entire time that he had to gather the rest of the Clan. After getting everything he needed, he scrawled a note for Hyungwon if he managed to get away and to the safe house, and taped it to the inside of the door.

 

 _Went to get the Wolf,_ which was something they had jokingly called Changkyun because he was an expert on the woods, _you know where to find us. Stay safe. We've still got your back._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in two days I'm an official Overachiever™ (I'm kidding watch me forget to update for like two weeks after this ksdjsdjdjdsjskd)


	14. Thirteen

It had been a relief when Shownu appeared, armed with food and water and reassuring comments about how the others were probably fine, just back in their own worlds. Being the two youngest, he wasn't surprised that Changkyun and Jooheon had been a bit scattered when he'd showed up, especially considering Jooheon had no idea what Changkyun's world was really like in the beginning.

 

A month had passed and Jooheon had proved his adaptability, slipping into the routine of everything that was happening. Considering he wasn't on any government database, Changkyun knew that if he, or Shownu for that matter, got in trouble with any guards, as soon as that was found out things would go downhill quickly, more than usual. So the two stayed out of sight and the youngest merely fell back into the routine of his old life.

 

During the night they escaped into the woods, taking small walks to stretch their legs and for Changkyun to refresh his lungs after being in a factory all day. Quickly, they learned how to walk so that their footsteps were nearly silent, instinctively stepping around branches and twigs to blend in with the forest around them.

 

It was while they were walking that Jooheon learned about delphinium, it's unnatural ability to heal, and even the rituals it was used for. Initially, the learning had started as a way to pass the time, but as he found more out about the practice, he realized that maybe the healing properties would come in handy at some point.

 

This started a rabbit trail of him finding out as much as possible with the limited resources and opportunities he had, then spending their time in the woods looking for wild delphinium. It was rare, but it did grow outside of the greenhouses under the government's control.

 

Despite their best efforts, it was hard not to be beaten down both emotionally and physically by the world around them. Everything had a grimy tinge, either from ash or dirt, or anything inbetween. Except for the buildings reserved for government workers or office buildings, the city had a worn, tired appearance, clearly reflected in it's citizens.

 

Shownu merely asked for patience, feeling pathetic about the situation himself. He knew the others were looking to him to figure out what was going on and how to get out of it, but he was stuck. There was a gamble that came with traveling with the others around. Either agents would go after him, or would capture the younger Clan members instead. That wasn't a chance he could take.

 

Time demanded the most from him, took every ounce of wisdom and strength he thought he had and turned his world upside down. It was disorientating, trying to make a plan and think of every way that time could laugh in his face and leave Hyungwon to his fate with the organization.

 

He thought back to his childhood, remembering all the times his mother would call him stubborn, and thanked God that he was the way he was. The younger two had told him multiple times that if they were him they would've given up, exhausted by the time ran circles around it's travelers. Weariness had created a weight that dragged his shoulders down, but it only made him more determined to succeed.

 

“I think we should go get the others before I try to find Hyungwon.” He announced one evening, curling into the makeshift bed that had found it's way into the greenhouse.

 

Changkyun gave him a curious look, questioning him with his eyes, but remained silent. “You guys are safer in numbers. I'll find another gun or two so you can defend yourself if needed, but I should be able to send you somewhere where you're hard to track.” He explained.

 

This caught Jooheon's attention. “Why weren't we there in the first place.”

 

“We wanted to give the group a few days to adjust to being around each other and decide whether we were going to stick together or not. If you guys decided to go back to your own worlds after being told it was dangerous, that was your choice, not ours. But now that we've already been caught, that's not exactly an option.”

 

There was a pause, the three of them thinking. “So what's the full plan?” Changkyun finally asked.

 

“I'm gonna need Jooheon to make delphinium extract. It's more likely that some of them have their memory wiped, and I don't exactly feel like trying to kidnap them and reexplaining everything is the best option. I'll figure out a way to give it to them, wait for their memories to recover, and then take you all somewhere safe. Then I'll get Hyungwon.”

 

Another silence. Changkyun was the only one with the strength to bring up what they were all thinking. “What if you go to get Hyungwon and you don't come back?”

 

Shownu avoided the subject as best as he could. “I'm not gonna leave you guys stranded in some desert on Mars.” He gave a strained laugh.

 

The topic was dropped. Jooheon asked Changkyun how work had gone that day, and as the sun fell behind the horizon, crickets started chirping and wildlife came out of the woodwork. It was funny to him how a world so chaotic and brutal during the day could become so peaceful and serene during the night. Shownu stretched out on his bed, feet falling over the edge of the pile of blankets and pillows, arms coming up to frame his head.

 

He found it hard to imagine that something like time travel was so impossible to other people, and yet he couldn't picture his life without it. Ironic, considering it could be the reason his life would end. Worry for Hyungwon flashed through him, settling as a sick feeling in the center of his chest. There was no way for him to even imagine how they were treating him.

 

Trying his hardest to push the chaotic thoughts out of his head, he rolled onto his stomach, staring out of the dirtied glass walls into the woods around them. In the corner of his vision he could see Changkyun's sleeping form, arm hanging off the couch, and the body of Jooheon on the floor next to him. Used to the world that surrounded them, Changkyun was completely knocked out, while Jooheon was fidgeting, adjusting his blankets and turning over almost constantly.

 

Days like this made Shownu feel lost. Like he was supposed to be doing more than he was, more than he was even capable of. Every thought and every doubt that he had pushed away just minutes earlier came flooding back, taunting him until he fell asleep.

 

 

 

“Jooheon, how long do you think it'll take to figure out how to get their memories back?”

 

“I don't know, okay. I was a shitty business major who was about to be a drop out before all of this happened. I can't just snap my fingers and pretend to be a witch. Witches brew stuff, right? Either way, I'm lost.” Jooheon burst out, turning ot look at Shownu with stressed eyes.

 

“Breathe. No pressure. I just wanted to know.” He replied, glancing over Jooheon's disheveled appearance after he stood from picking more delphinium.

 

It had been another month, and monotony had begun to set in. Changkyun seemed satisfied by the situation, though obviously missing Minhyuk and worried about the others, at least he wasn't alone. Jooheon had thrown himself wholeheartedly into research, sometimes to the point of worrying the other two. Shownu felt as if he had no purpose there, other than being their protector. There was nothing he could do until he had the delphinium extract, and getting books and information for Jooheon was hard enough with Changkyun being the only recognized citizen.

 

The daytime had passed quickly, which was rare, but instead of being cooped up up in the greenhouse all day, he'd been following Jooheon around the woods, making sure the younger wasn't alone. In contrast to the time on Shownu's hands, Jooheon had been busy for the majority of the months they were there, not having much time to talk. When they did, it was to reassure Changkyun about various situations. Talking also meant having to dance around the possibility of what could go wrong in the future.

 

Until that day, a majority of their discussions were small talk, comments about things that had happened, creatures Jooheon had noticed. But walking in the woods with him had started them down a trail of conversation that was eye opening about each other, considering they weren't the closest. A voice in Shownu's head nagged at him not to encourage any friendship, that the possibility of losing them was too high, but he knew that regardless, it was too late anyway.

 

Evening crept in with cool air and a gentle breeze, guiding them back to Changkyun's house, somewhere they hadn't been yet. It felt invasive, almost, stepping across the threshold when they knew the loss that had left it's mark on Changkyun within the walls. The three remained silent.

 

It would've been to suspicious to tote the copious amount of blankets and pillows that made up their beds in the greenhouse, so they were stuck sleeping on the floor, both of the older Clan members refusing to let the youngest give up his bed. They made quick work of the layer of dust that had settled on the few surfaces in the house, and started to relax into the space as night fell.

 

 

 

A loud, sharp knock on the door startled them all, Changkyun leaping to his feet. He knew what this meant. His eyes were wide, panicked, as he gestured towards the bathroom. “Hide in the tub. Lay down. If it's a brisk search they won't see shadows behind the curtains and they'll leave. If not...” He paused his whispering, shooing them with his hands as another knock sounded out, louder this time. “Go.”

 

Deja vu struck Shownu as he grabbed Jooheon by the arm, dragging him into the bathroom as quickly, but quietly, as he could. They fumbled while climbing in, Jooheon knocking his elbow against the ceramic, Shownu trying his hardest not to hit his head. It was impossible to fit two grown men into one tub, especially not comfortable.

 

Another set of knocks, followed by yelling to open the door, sounded out. Changkyun rushed into the room, throwing their blankets and pillows onto the pair, covering them completely. He yanked the curtain back shut after making sure it looked somewhat normal before returning to the living room. Jooheon and Shownu held their breath.

 

“Sorry about that, I was changing.” They heard Changkyun laugh nervously, voice muffled.

 

Silence from the soldiers. They pushed their way into the house, looking around with an attitude Changkyun could only describe as vicious. Paranoia whispered in his ear that they knew, that the three of them would never get away with something as risky as this. They threw his things around carelessly, standing his mattress up against the wall and rifling through cabinets, though most were empty.

 

Tension rose into Changkyun's shoulders when they walked towards the bathroom. He held his breath when he heard the shower curtain get pushed open, silently picking at his cuticle as he remained where he was. They emerged a minute later. “You sleep in there? Why?” One asked in an accusing voice.

 

Changkyun fumbled slightly. “It's cooler in there in the summer.” He faked a smile.

 

They looked around for any other reason they could accuse him of something, but came up empty handed. After more questions, which he was used to at this point, they left, grumbling to themselves about the next house they were headed to. Everything was still until he could no longer hear their footsteps. Then, he rushed into the bathroom, yanking back the curtain and the blankets that covered his friends.

 

Jooheon's eyes were wide; in fear, or shock, or both. Shownu's jaw was clenched, his arm protectively around Jooheon's shoulder still. They didn't move for a couple of moments, obviously still trying to flush the stress from their veins and process what happened. All at once, the unwound from each other, Jooheon scrambling out of the tub, breathing heavily, Shownu shoving everything out and sinking back against the ceramic. “Do they just... do that? Barge in and throw things around whenever they want?” Jooheon asked.

 

Changkyun nodded, rubbing his forearm with his hand. Shownu looked him over, making sure there were no signs of the guards having roughed him up, though they probably would've heard. “I'm glad you're okay, kid.” He said quietly.

 

 

 

They spent the night closer together than the ones before. Changkyun awoke sometime in the early morning before the sun had risen from a nightmare, also waking Shownu, who merely put a hand on his chest to ease him back down into his mattress. Jooheon muttered something in his sleep, turning over and yanking the blankets up to his ears as the other two watched him, laughing silently. Shownu fell back asleep with his hand on the youngest's shoulder.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally predicted I wouldn't update for two weeks hhhhhhh sorry. I have an art blog to keep up with and school /: I'll try and be as consistent as possible from now on, probably upload around once a week.


	15. Fourteen

Time seemed to accelerate since that night, the business of paranoia setting in and consuming their priorities. They had fallen into a routine so natural it seemed like they'd been doing it all their lives. Sometimes, if they let the atmosphere around them consume them enough, they could pretend everything was normal.

 

However, at the end of the day, they didn't have that privilege. The rest of the Clan needed them, and the extract to bring back their memories was nearly complete. Jooheon was still an amateur, that was for sure, but pure determination made him successful at the task, and eventually they had enough materials to finish.

 

It was hard to take the job seriously when they thought about it too hard. The idea of standing over a cauldron holding a magic blue flower chanting things was enough to make Jooheon laugh, though it was his reality. He was glad the concoction wasn't more complicated. He really would've felt odd painting his face and drinking things in the process. Luckily, there was no situation serious enough for him to need them.

 

The flooding blur of past time was interrupted by memories in the form of rocks that served as a surface to cling to, a resting point to look back on and draw strength. After the night they had almost been found out, they were undoubtedly closer. A connection to Changkyun had managed to fake citizen's papers and badges for both Shownu and Jooheon, so now they could walk together in public. Shownu found himself often walking with his arms around their shoulders, both daring someone to mess with either of them, and keeping track of them.

 

One night they had stayed up talking. It was a warmer, more humid night. Changkyun's t-shirt hung off his shoulder, blankets kicked away and long forgotten at the end of his mattress. Jooheon was in a similar state, sprawled out on the cold, cracked tile flooring. The eldest of the ground was leaning against the wall, rolling a coin between his fingertips.

 

“Changkyun, can I request something personal from you?” He spoke up, turning his head to look at the other.

 

The youngest tilted his head, making a confused face that encouraged Shownu to continue.”Let's stay here. At the house. I know you don't like it because of everything that's happened, but avoiding it won't heal things. Let's stay here, and we can make better memories, and maybe being here won't be as painful as it is now in the future.”

 

An unfamiliar emotion crossed Changkyun's face before he silently looked away, staring at the wall intently. Shownu opened his mouth to apologize, what for, he wasn't sure, maybe for bringing it up, before he realized the younger was cryng. He struggled to decide what to do until Changkyun turned back to him with a watery smile. “You're right. Let's stay, if you guys are comfortable with it.”

 

He was relieved, to say the least, that he hadn't offended him. The mornings after, they moved their stuff from the greenhouse to the house in small parts as to not draw attention to themselves. Shownu had gotten a job at the same factory as Changkyun, and used the money to help with rent and buy more furniture, making the space a little less cold and empty.

 

When selling fruits and vegetables through stands became legal, they would travel down the alleys of miniature shops, looking over things. Jooheon would steer the youngest around the strawberries, distracting him by pointing out various homemade goods on the opposite end while Shownu moved around to his side to block his view. If they succeeded and made him laugh, he wouldn't even notice the smell.

 

Trinkets began to add up as the days passed. Along with buying things for the house, all three of them had matching rings; thick metal that sat snugly on their pinkies, a C engraved in the center. They got lived in in their own ways. Jooheon's collected streaks of dirt, Changkyun's coal, and Shownu's scratches from machinery.

 

When Changkyun's birthday arrived it was the first time it had been celebrated in years, making the youngest cry, something they had gotten used to whenever anything sentimental happened. Of course, there wasn't much they could do, but they made do with food and a dessert provided by a lovely neighbor, who claimed Changkyun was more like a grandson to her than any of her actual grand-kids.

 

None of them wanted to admit how attached they were to the life they had made, not when they knew what it could imply. But time had slipped through their fingers, the tides finally crashing to shore and washing away the land that had anchored them down. Jooheon finished the extract and it was time for them to set their plan into motion.

 

Minhyuk was made priority, purely for the fact that both of the older boys wanted to give Changkyun the closure he so badly seemed to need. After hearing so many recounts of their experiences together, they would feel guilty for not putting him first. There were plan made and canceled of how to approach the situation, ranging from a calm sit down type of discussion, to straight up kidnapping.

 

After a lot of back and forth, they finally decided it would be best to approach him and slip the extract into a drink. Morally, it felt horrible that they were literally about to drug Minhyuk, especially considering they had Shownu on their side, who was a giant compared to all of them, but they knew he would prefer it over being left to a life that wasn't genuinely his. Well, that's what they told themselves before they took action.

 

It wasn't hard to find him, considering his routine was going to work, then straight home. Changkyun remembered the strawberry milkshake, bringing it up quietly as they crossed the street to the cafe. Dusk was making itself known in the sky, dusting the clouds with a pale pink, the beginnings of a sunset starting to unfurl on the horizon.

 

Jooheon remained outside, leaning against the brick of the building with a casualness that held a sense of worry if you paid attention long enough. Changkyun settled into one of the cafe chairs while Shownu attempted to figure out how to make his way into the kitchen.

 

The opportunity arose around ten minutes later when the chef emerged from the set of doors that led to the kitchen and walked towards the bathroom. Shownu glanced around before moving forward with the same casualty Jooheon had adopted. The vial of extract was burning a hole in his pocket.

 

He pulled it out quickly, popping the cork and tipping the blue liquid into the plastic container that held Minhyuk's drink, fingers crossed that it wouldn't turn the drink purple and cause suspicion. Quickly, he replaced the lid and tucked the vial back into his pocket, rushing out of the restaurant through the back exit.

 

After emerging, he rounded the corner towards the front of the cafe and joined Jooheon next to the entrance, giving him a simple nod. Minutes passed before there was a crashing sound, followed by a shout of Minhyuk's name. The moments after were agonizingly slow before they heard Changkyun say, “I'm his friend, I'll take him home. He probably forgot to eat today, it's happened before.”

 

As soon as he came out of the door with a very dizzy Minhyuk supported by his shoulder, Shownu leaned over, Changkyun helpd him get the other onto his back. With Shownu carrying him, they set off towards the hotel they had rented.

 

When they finally arrived Minhyuk was carefully placed on the bed, leaving Shownu to, full of exaggeration and fake exhaustion, bend over panting. Jooheon merely threw a water bottle at him, rolling his eyes at the elder's antics. Changkyun sat down on the edge of the bed. “How long until his memory's back?” He asked, voice quiet like he didn't want Minhyuk to hear him.

 

“Around a half an hour.” Jooheon replied, “He's gonna have a pretty bad headache, but he'll live.”

 

Changkyun nodded in acknowledgment, brushing Minhyuk's hair away from his forehead, before he let his hand drop onto the blanket. Someone sighed. All that was left to do was wait.

 

 

 

After a little while of figuring out painkiller doses, trying to decide whether caffeine would help, and attempting to keep Minhyuk's stomach contents where they belonged, the throbbing in his skull finally subsided. The first question out of his mouth was whether or not Changkyun was okay, then, if the others were okay. Yet again, Shownu was left to explain everything that had been going on.

 

Once his memories were recovered, along with his health, Minhyuk jumped into the plan at full speed. They insisted he replenish his fluids and eat something before they left, concern for the Clan member in front of them overriding the anxiety they had about the others. There was small talk, questions from him about what the other three had been up to while he was in his own world, before they decided to finally get moving again.

 

 

 

Kihyun was the hardest to find out of the others, having spontaneously decided to move away from his hometown in his world, having claimed to Jooheon's parents that it was too difficult to remain there. They found him in a diner halfway out of the city. He proved to be the most resilient towards the extract, landing a solid kick to Shownu's crotch before the headache rendered him to pained to resist.

 

After nursing their injuries, they found themselves at the safe house, stumbling upon a very worn looking Wonho who silently hugged them all, too exhausted to speak. They understood. Most of them were carrying the weight of stories they didn't want to repeat, not in that moment, when other worries were dragging them down so far. “When are we going to get Hyungwon?” Changkyun asked, fumbling with the ring on his finger.

 

“Not we. I. I'm the only one going.” Shownu stated firmly, turning heads.

 

“Like hell you are.” Kihyun piped up, obviously annoyed.

 

“I'm the only other loose end to them. If something goes wrong, they won't care enough to come after you guys. You'll be fine.”

 

They all opened their mouths to protest, but he continued, “That's it. That's all there is to it. I'm not arguing about this, I'm sorry. Your safety's too important to me.”

 

It was obvious he had annoyed some of them, but he didn't care. Their security came above their opinion of him, and if that was what he had to sacrifice, then so be it. “Jooheon created another extract that will keep you guys hidden. It's, uh, got some side effects, though.” He tiptoed around the correct wording.

 

“We're gonna be in comas.” Jooheon said plainly, taking a sip of water.

 

Silence reigned, Shownu turning towards the younger in exasperation, before making a gesture of agreement. “Great, so what happens if you don't come back? We just get to sleep until we die?” Kihyun asked sarcastically, still holding a grudge.

 

Jooheon slapped him on the leg before stating, “No, I'll be awake. I have to monitor everyone. If he doesn't come back when he's supposed to, I'll wake everyone up and we'll leave to another safe house.”

 

The information started soaking in that this was really happening, that that day could really be the last time they would see Shownu. Wonho stepped closer to him, grabbing his arm with an urgency that he hadn't showed before. “You have to come back, okay?” He said, looking the other in the eye.

 

Shownu nodded, knowing they both knew he couldn't make any more promises. It was the false sense of security that blanketed them after his agreement that somehow made him feel better, yet more hollow. A sigh came from the second youngest. “Let's get started.”

 

 

 

Hours later, amidst excessive swearing and exclamations of annoyance, the IV's and mattresses were set up, creating an almost uncomfortable atmosphere. It was strange to see, and even more disconcerting to acknowledge. Instead, they merely sat on their respective beds. Changkyun and Minhyuk's were next to each other, as were Jooheon and Kihyun's. Jooheon had his own empty bed at the end of the room, and Shownu leaned against the wall.

 

One by one, Jooheon had them lay down, and inserted the IV, much to Changkyun's disgust. He flinched every time they did, too sympathetic to pretend to be unaffected. Kihyun was last, finally leaning back against his pillow, no matter how much he had expressed that he didn't want to.

 

“Both of you better come home.” Kihyun said firmly to Shownu, expression stern.

 

“Yes, sir.” Shownu grinned, mock saluting him, knowing he was too far gone to start something.

 

The rest of the day was spent in silence, pretending that their friends weren't in medically induced comas on the other side of the room. Jooheon got up almost obsessively to check their heart monitors, but neither of them spoke about it. It remained quiet until Shownu stood and prepared to leave.

 

Like the others, Jooheon grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. However, he couldn't find the words that he felt he needed to say. Shownu gripped his hand with a wry smile before nodding, understanding. Then, without a word, he stepped out of the room and softly clicked the door shut behind him, leaving Jooheon alone with his thoughts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I was only gonna upload once a week to avoid gaps for multiple weeks? Yeah, I've discovered I'm too impatient lmao so here's this.


	16. Fifteen

Hyungwon's head snapped back, reeling from the punch that had been thrown his way. The organization had attempted to brainwash him yet again, but it hadn't worked. Now that he had memories to hold onto, a family to return to, he always came back around to being himself eventually.

 

They were so obsessed with control, so used to being in charge of a meek and pliable pawn, that this change had infuriated them. The Director, specifically. They were matched in stubbornness, each refusing to give in when the other held strongly to their priorities. Her delusion that it was her right to control the universe around them, and the names that had long been burned into his brain. Him unable to forget, her unable to give in.

 

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, how long they'd been playing this twisted game of push and pull. He'd long forgotten his fear of the people around him, every hit thrown his way further fueling the anger and determination that kept him fighting back. The neutral mask that served as his defense mechanism had slipped away, leaving him alone with the bruises and cuts that were scattered across his skin.

 

Hyungwon inhaled sharply, trying his best to ignore the pain in his ribs and the wheeze that tagged along with it. Unable to help it, he let out a sarcastic laugh, no longer able to express emotion any other way. Blood seeped out of the corner of his lips, undoubtedly from one of the many cuts inside his mouth.

 

Drowsiness had settled into his bones, blurring the way he was perceiving reality. The room around him was spinning, driving nausea into his stomach like a spike, causing him to screw his eyes shut. Familiar claws dug into the flesh of his cheeks. “You think this is funny?” The Director hissed, looming over him.

 

He found himself unable to respond. Energy was a thing of the past, something distant tucked snugly between the memory of him meeting Shownu and the time he'd accidentally ran over Wonho's foot with his office chair. Pain blossomed from his collarbone.

 

A blow was directed to his rib cage yet again, sending his body curling inwards, his chin coming to rest on his chest. He heard an annoyed sigh from the Director. Then, the restraints on his wrists were tightened. “You know, you could get out of this more easily than you think.” Her tone had changed from condescending and angry to a fake calm.

 

Hyungwon lifted his head to look at her, the expression on his face simultaneously challenging and sarcastic. He knew whatever she was about to say was a trap, the false sense of security that decorated her tone attempting to persuade him to give up everything that was keeping him sane. She opened her mouth again, but he wasn't listening. Instead, he turned his head to the side, closing his eyes again.

 

 

 

 

“ _We all have a lot of questions for you.”_

 

“ _I know.”_

 

_Kihyun paused from what he was doing, turning towards Hyungwon as he rested the spatula on the pan. For the longest time, he just looked at him. There was no judgment on his face, merely a guarded curiosity and a touch of concern. “Do you usually cook?” He changed the subject, sensing the mood it had put the taller in._

 

_Hyungwon shook his head. He was being honest; his previous meals had been fast food or the instant frozen meals, tossed in the microwave because despite being himself, there was never enough time. There was a sense of finality in that moment, standing beside Kihyun in the warm kitchen with the smell of pancakes flooding his senses._

 

_After so long he had accomplished what he'd dedicated his life to, and now he had no idea what to do with himself. The Clan no longer needed him. Not really. As soon as they would decide their futures they'd be independent, like they were before he'd appeared initially. Kihyun realized his silence couldn't mean anything good, and turned back towards him to say something. It was then that Shownu appeared._

 

 

 

_Later, when no one was paying attention, he slipped out of the apartment. It was crowded and stuffed full of conversation and banter, too loud for him when his thoughts were already preoccupying him. Hyungwon sucked in a deep breath, walking down the street aimlessly, his hands stuffed in his pockets._

 

_There weren't many people out, not compared to the afternoon and evening, when the streets were choked full of pedestrians. It was relieving to be alone, without the expectations he faced from the rest of the Clan. He'd made the excuse that they needed milk, and yet he knew that there would be other people at the store, with their own sets of expectations of what was polite or right to say in conversation._

 

_Pulling his jacket tighter around him, he slowed his footsteps, glancing around at his surroundings. The mornings were refreshing when they weren't busy, the smell of dew permeating the air. He inhaled deeply, tilting his head back as he closed his eyes. The world around him was still. Until it wasn't._

 

_A hand covered his mouth, pulling his arms behind his back, rendering him unable to defend himself. Black cloth covered his eyes, coming down to be fastened around his neck. His feet were kicked out from underneath him, and he was dragged backwards. Then, an arm came up to choke him, oxygen slowly leaving his lungs, until he blacked out._

 

 

 

It was these memories, the comfort that Kihyun and the Clan brought him, that made him furious about the way he was being held. Regardless of whether or not they wouldn't need him in the future, he needed to know they were safe. To him, it didn't matter the way he was being treated, just the fact that he didn't _know._

 

The world around him was fuzzy at the edges, like a nightmare that wasn't quite real enough to believe. He breathed in deeply, trying to get things to focus. It failed. Suddenly, the door to the room was slammed open, startling Hyungwon enough for him to lift his head.

 

There, in the doorway, like part of a fever dream, was Shownu. He was clutching a gun, grip tight, showing his nervousness. The Director turned and said something, but it didn't register. All Hyungwon could focus on was the figure in the doorway. “Let him go.” Was all he heard when he finally managed to start paying attention.

 

“Son Hyunwoo.” The Director stated flatly.

 

“I said, let him go.”

 

The Director sighed, then waved her hand. Guards rushed forward and immediately knocked the gun out of Shownu's grip, causing it to fall to the floor, before his hands were twisted behind his back. He was forced to his knees roughly, causing a grimace to cross his face.

 

Hoarsely, Hyungwon spoke up. “Are you okay?” He asked.

 

Shownu gave a forced laugh. “I think I should be asking you that. You don't look so good.”

 

“Enough.” The Director interrupted snappishly. “How stupid can you be to come back here?”

 

He remained silent, glaring up at her from the floor. Hyungwon pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, feeling around where his wrists were tied together against the chair. The restraint wasn't loose, that was for sure, but he was determined to figure something out.

 

Something sharp was sticking out from the back of the chair, sitting just below where his wrists were bound with rope. He leaned as far back in the chair as he could, pushing his arms down farther and hooking the binding around the object. With every ounce of subtlety he could manage, he started sawing at it.

 

One of the guards pistol whipped Shownu, creating an awful cracking sound that resonated throughout the room. Gritting his teeth out of anger, Hyungwon yanked against the restraint. It did the trick, causing the rope to snap against the pressure. Running purely on adrenaline, he launched himself forward, trying to shake the numbness from his limbs.

 

He grabbed the gun from the floor where it had been thrown and moved across the room to press it against the Director's temple in one motion. His hands were shaking, something that he had to fight to steady. “Agent, be rational about this.” The Director said calmly. “How do you think you're going to get out of here?”

 

Despite his knowledge of everything the organization and the Director could do, it was then that he realized he could never get out of this the way he wanted to. There was no happy ending, no way this could result in something perfect. With a faint breath, “If I do what you want, you leave them alone. Shownu and the others. But I refuse to be your slave.”

 

“We can talk, Agent. We can compromise.”

 

Pain welled in his chest at what he was giving up, but it was worth it. It was the sacrifice he had, and was willing, to make. “You let go of Shownu and don't track him or the others. You leave them alone. I'll... I'm not staying here, but you can put me wherever you want me.” His voice was choked.

 

“'Won, no.” Shownu started before he was threatened by the guards.

 

The Director sighed. “Fine.” She said coldly. “Let him go and call the agents off.” She directed the people in the room.

 

A chorus of “yes, Director” rang out, and they scattered like mice. He let out a shuttering breath as the guards handed Shownu a watch. “'Won, no, I'm not leaving. I came here to bring you back.” Shownu said, attempting to sound logical.

 

“None of us are getting out of this otherwise.” Hyungwon replied quietly. “Go.”

 

Guns cocked around the room, the ones not aimed at Hyungwon aimed at Shownu. The two Clan members watched each other, eyes locked, before Shownu pressed the button and disappeared. Emotion suffocated him as all guns turned and were trained on him.

 

“Choose a world. I don't care which. After I leave, you don't get to do anything to us. While you were busy throwing me around like a punching bag, they were putting a bug in the system. One button and we can shut everything down. Erase every file. Disable the watches.”

 

He was bluffing, and quite blatantly, too, but luck seemed to be on his side. It was obvious she believed him, as the Director tensed, gritting her teeth. “I knew I should've killed you the first time you failed your mission.”

 

“Is that an agreement?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Minutes later, he was handed a watch, pre-programmed to the world of their choice. The Director, craving the control she always needed, spoke in a taunting tone. “We figured we'd be kind enough and put you somewhere familiar to you. The only thing that's missing is them.””

 

His eyebrows crept together in confusion. He'd been expecting them to put him in the most apocalyptic, torturous world available. “Go on, then.” She encouraged sarcastically.

 

Caution racing through his veins, he pressed the button.

 

 

 

When Hyungwon came to, he was laying in a bed. The sheets were soft, the mattress in the middle ground between too soft and too firm. He struggled to open his eyes. As he did, the room around him came into view. Everything was a medium gray, bland and dreary as he glanced around.

 

Bones weighed down by weariness, he sat up in bed, throwing his legs over the side. He was wearing pajamas, the same gray as the rest of his surroundings. With uneasy footsteps, he crossed the room, feet bare on the carpet, and opened the door. He was met with a hallway leading to stairs.

 

Hyungwon padded down the stairs and was greeted by a voice. “About damn time you're awake. I was about to tell Nancy to go throw water water on you, son.” He was told harshly.

 

When he turned he saw an older man, dressed in a crisp suit, seated at the dining table. The house around them was large and immaculate, a clear sign that they must have some sort of status. With cautious steps, he walked over to the table, and sat down at the only other setting, remaining silent in regards to the man who was apparently his father.

 

“I have meetings today. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, or you'll regret it.” His father wiped his mouth and threw the napkin down, gesturing for the woman who stood against the wall to clean up as he left.

 

Her name tag gave her away to be the 'Nancy' that he had previously mentioned. When his father wasn't looking, she flashed him a brief smile as she cleared the plate. As he picked up his fork to eat, he glanced to his right out of a window, and was met with an unbelievably familiar sight. The factory Changkyun used to work at.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon's back yay I felt bad not being able to write about him for that little bit of time. Lemme know what you think!
> 
> Everything's completely edited now and I'll start updating like normal. As normal as my updating schedule can be lmao. Thanks for being patient!


	17. Sixteen

As expected, the world Hyungwon ended up in wasn't something to brag about. While he visited Changkyun, he never realized how truly bad it was. Perhaps this was because of his mindset at the time, or his tunnel vision that focused only on the Clan members, but he definitely knew better now.

 

The towering buildings that made up the heart of the city were sad looking structures, despite being the most impressive part of it. From the fields outside of the area, it was almost picturesque, in a depressing way, how mangled and worn the buildings were, a looming rusted metal tree.

 

Just as Changkyun had explained, there was solace from the outside world inside the woods. They created a shelter of branches and leaves that blocked out the pain and misery that permeated the air everywhere else, like the forest was doing it's best to protect it's animal occupants from the mistakes humanity had made. It was beautiful during the winter, the woods. Hyungwon often found himself sneaking away from the suffocating pressure of existing around other people to lean against the tree trunks and watch the birds chase each other. He envied their naivety and unawareness of the things that had nothing to do with them.

 

From the beginning his relationship with his “father” was a rocky coastline of coral, threatening to rip apart any boat that dared to touch it. At first, he tried his best to make the man happy, desperate to get him and his anger off his back, to satisfy his endless demands, but it was futile. This was something he realized after mere weeks. Eventually, he learned to do something that was very unlike him; let go. Instead of allowing the boat to sink, he merely patched it up and moved on.

 

Nothing about living in the world was easy, that much was true, but Hyungwon was stubborn. He refused to give up on a future he had fought so hard for. Not only the Clan's, but his own, and the right to learn who he was. It was a long battle that was far from over, but well worth it, he thought, as the beginnings of himself began to pull themselves out of the woodwork, ready to grow into an existence that was _more._ More than he was every allowed to be. Human.

 

Of course, this was only allowed when everyone was looking away from him. His father had turned out to be a higher up city official. What exactly the man did, he had no idea, nor did he care to find out. He was sure it didn't mean anything good for the people who were just trying to fend for themselves. What he knew was this: he was automatically dragged into view of the other officials, who often were over for meetings or business dinners, and he despised every single one of them with each millimeter of his being.

 

The hatred and fury at how arrogant and self centered they were pushed him to start an effort to counter their influences. With the help of Nancy he began hiding bags of food that, during the weekend, he would sneak around the poorest sections of the city and give out to those in need. Well, those he got to first. It seemed like there was never enough food and never would be, despite his best efforts.

 

Being able to help people who needed it made life bearable there, despite all of the other things that happened, and that was enough for him. Of course, being associated with a government official made it impossible for anyone to want to stay near him for an extended period of time. Sure, people were grateful for the food, but they often scurried away as if they thought he would turn them in as soon as they took the bait. Hyungwon was understanding; he didn't take it personally, no matter how much it hurt.

 

During the winter months he busied himself with work that was ordered by his father. Measly tasks that he wasn't paid for, but were demanded from him anyway. His spring, summer, and fall days were spent in the fields, inside the factories, or as an errand runner for other city officials that he was loaned out to.

 

Autumn rushed in with a chill that was appreciated by everyone, a metaphorical and literal breath of fresh air. The falling leaves blanketed the forest floor, creating a new playground for the creatures whose homes were there. Hyungwon found the autumn refreshing, the brisk air invigorating after the heat of summer. Unfortunately, he also knew that the rain that was soon to follow was a big problem for a lot of people who had poor or no shelter.

 

Thus began him repairing roofs and patching walls in his spare time, working to make sure he could help protect people from the weather. And maybe it was a side effect of guilt, the fact that he could no longer help the Clan, that drove him to dedicating every ounce of himself he could spare to helping other people. Internally, he refused to acknowledge this, though he couldn't fool himself.

 

The end of fall came around and started an obligatory mourning period that was acknowledged by no one but him. During the first couple of months after Hyungwon had arrived, he'd still had a mother. She was deathly ill at the time, and it didn't take long before there was an engraved stone in their backyard marking where she rested, snowflakes settling on top of the solid rock. Though his father refused to bring up the topic, Hyungwon always made the time to pay his respects.

 

There was something he found comforting about the sharp sting of the cold winter air, the flakes of snow that landed on his exposed skin. The feeling drew his attention, brought him back to reality when it was so easy to want to let his mind drift away. Everything was dreamlike during the winter, and despite the fact that he wanted to pretend the world around him wasn't real, he knew that was a dangerous game to play.

 

 

“Hyungwon.” A voice called out, worn with age and use.

 

He whipped his head around, staring down the dirt road he was on. Hyungwon had made his rounds already, trudging through the thick layer of snow to give out what food he could. There hadn't been much, but it was more than the recipients had before, and they were grateful anyway. Most grateful of all was the older woman waddling down the road towards him, slowed by the ice that covered the roads.

 

Worried about her slipping, Hyungwon turned quickly and rushed back the way he came, struggling not to fall himself. He came to a wobbly stop in front of her, causing her to laugh at the way he he held his arms out for balance like a young child. “What's wrong?” He asked breathlessly, finally finding his footing.

 

“Oh nothing, you forgot your bread.” She held out a package, a loaf wrapped in plain brown paper.

 

Hyungwon grinned at her in relief, both fond of her insistence that he needed some semblance of a motherly figure and happy that nothing serious had happened. She was one of the few people who were fine with associating with him on a surface level, often asking how he was whenever he made his rounds.

 

Of course, he didn't know her name, nor anyone else who he provided for. It was too dangerous. They all knew who he was, however, as he felt it was important they were familiar with him on some level. He didn't want to come across as a cold stranger; not again.

 

With a gentle hug, he announced his thanks before taking her arm and, ignoring her protests, walked her back to her house carefully, making sure to pull her up every time she slipped before any part of her could hit the ground. It was after making sure that she was safely and cozily inside her small house that he made his own way back.

 

Dusk had fallen by then, bringing in harsh cold to the atmosphere. His surroundings were still light and airy, however, a telltale sign that it was going to snow again that night. Unlike most of the other residence of the city, he had the privilege to welcome the weather. In the sections of the area that were left untouched, the snow was beautiful, a soothing sight that made everything feel serene and quiet.

 

However, in the busiest parts of the city, the snow turned to sludge, mixed with dirt and mud, oil and dust from the factories. Traveling was made miserable as once the stuff piled up, as it was one hell of an obstacle to get through. Then, there was the constant chore of attempting to shovel it even as it returned immediately for the one second of relief.

 

Internally, Hyungwon scolded himself for wishing for snow in the first place, knowing how hard it made life for everyone else. Still, he couldn't stop it, and he found life was a little bit easier if you could find the positive aspects in seemingly negative situations. No one could fault him for that.

 

With calm eyes, he watched as his breath turned to fog and dissipated into the air as he walked. The roads were quiet now; everyone else had returned home to hide from the weather as much as they could. The only sound he heard was the crunching of his boots on the ground. A puff of fog appeared as he let out a heavy sigh, glancing up at the clouds above him.

 

They were a fluffy white, and he wasn't surprised when he saw the first few flakes begin to float down towards him. Hyungwon paused there for a moment, wishing he could still stop time, and just stared up at the sky, reveling in the calmness that had taken over. Somewhere to his right he could hear the rustling of an animal in the bushes, most likely a fox too hungry to hibernate, and he smiled. Then, with a sharp breath that delivered stinging cold air to his windpipe, he started moving again, this time pushing himself to walk faster so he could get home before dark.

 

 

 

Hyungwon had been late. That was what had started all of this. The bruising, the cuts down the side of his face, his busted lip and black eye. With aching joints and limbs, he was leaned against the bathroom counter, cleaning his wounds with a flat expression on his face. He didn't let himself flinch when it hurt, too determined not to let it show that he felt defeated. He reminded himself he was lucky they had medical supplies; a lot of people didn't have that luxury.

 

There was no hiding what happened, that was for sure. Every bit of the evidence stood out harshly against his pale skin. With a resigned examination of his face, he shook his head, and packed up the medical supplies, tucking them underneath the sink counter. He rinsed his mouth out with tap water, spitting out blood into the ceramic basin.

 

He released a shallow breath and pushed his hair away from his face. Gathering himself, he walked out of the bathroom and gently closed the door behind him with a soft click. Silent, he walked down the stairs and sat down at the dinner table, not making eye contact with the men that were seated around it.

 

Nancy had cleaned up the remnants of what had happened from around the house; she had picked up the chairs that had been knocked over, and swept up the shards of glass that had been scattered. Hyungwon kept his head tilted forward so the physical evidence was hidden until he was dismissed from the table a couple of minutes later so they could call a meeting.

 

Pushing away his untouched plate, he stood, tucked his chair back in, and gave a polite bow to the table of officials. They never acknowledged him and he left quietly, Nancy watching him with a concerned look.

 

 

 

Once the snow started melting and spring began to make itself known, the city was just a bit of a happier place. Flowers and grass started sprouting up from the previously frozen patches of dirt next to the stone paths, livening up the gray atmosphere of the area. Animals came out of hibernation, and it wasn't uncommon to see baby rabbits hopping around in the less populated sections of the city.

 

Without the hindrance of snow, Hyungwon could now make the trip across the city into the sparser district of the city and visit a place he knew all too well. The river was running then, no longer frozen, just beginning to pick up a current. It bubbled peacefully, leading him downstream into the field. The winter had killed off the long reeds and strands of grass that had previously grown there, but the season promised a return of the plants eventually.

 

To anyone else passing through, if they looked around all they would see were two piles of what seemed to be rubble and occasionally flowers. Hyungwon looked at the piles somewhat affectionately. He didn't visit them often; he didn't want to be seen by Minhyuk and Changkyun's parents and he wasn't the type of person to believe in energy, or spirits, or whatnot, but he figured the symbolism must mean something.

 

Taking his time, Hyungwon leaned over and picked what wildflowers he could find within the beginning sprouts of grass. He remembered the first time he had thought to visit the area the two had lived in. It had been about a month since he had arrived and his curiosity had been driving him nuts, pushing him to go investigate what had happened to them in this world. Unsurprisingly, they were dead.

 

After he had two handfuls of purple and yellow flowers, he divided them and put them on the pile of rocks. He wasn't one to talk to the headstones, not like they had been, as he saw no point, but he did take a moment to just look them over. It had been over a year now, and he was wondering if he would ever see them again. And something deep down in him wondered if they were even still looking.

 

Of course, with what Hyungwon had heard of delphinium in this world, he could attempt to make his own way out, but he knew once he left the organization would be after him. He pressed his lips together, pushing the thought out of his head. Worrying about the future constantly only made it harder to survive. He believed in the Clan, and that's what he reminded himself the entire way home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been leaving kudos, comments, and bookmarking this! It means a lot to me to see ya'll interact with this. Updates are probably going to be a bit slower now as school is starting again soon and I may also be getting a job, but I still really enjoy writing this so there's no way I'll be stopping updates again. Thanks again!


	18. Seventeen

Hyungwon knew he was being stupid, but he figured it was in human nature to do things that weren't exactly genius in the name of desperation. A while had passed and as someone who wasn't used to waiting, he'd gotten fed up. Not necessarily with the Clan, but with the circumstances. He knew he couldn't leave, not without figuring out a way to disarm the tracker on him, but he could bring the Clan to him.

 

As it turned out, delphinium could do a lot more than he'd assumed. After lengthy research, considering he had few other ways to fill his free time, he discovered that it was possible to, in simple terms, astral project. It was dangerous and could very easily end up deadly, but he considered himself out of options.

 

So started his project of searching through the worlds to find the Clan. Easier said than done. Then again, things had never really been easy for them. With that in mind, he became more and more stubborn as he encountered more roadblocks. It wasn't long, in the grand scheme of things at least, until he figured out exactly what he was doing. The search, as always, to find them was complicated, and it wasn't over, but he'd narrowed down the list, and determination fueled him in the form of the empty expressions on Changkyun and Minhyuk's parents, and the antagonizing he faced at his own house.

 

Hyungwon didn't dare to return to the greenhouse that had become such common surroundings for part of the Clan. Gut instinct of the organization told him that they knew the greenhouse had become a second home, and them knowing something so personal was a recipe for disaster, regardless of what they had promised. Luckily, there were many abandoned buildings scattered throughout the outskirts of the city that had been left to rot; whether they were irreparable or the government didn't care to house it's citizens, or both, he didn't know.

 

A small, one roomed house sat on the very edge of the woods, surrounded by untamed prairies and tangled, thick shrubs. It was every bit of a post-apocalyptic building as he expected. The walls were peeling, the flooring cracked and missing in chunks, most appliances stolen. The reason he had chosen it, however, was for the rusted bathtub that had been too heavy to steal.

 

After filling it with water and gathering scraps of cloth to use as towels, Hyungwon had begun working on the delphinium extract that was required to project. Every projection he made he would dump the extract in the tub full of water, and fight every instinct that told him not to sink into it. It was difficult not to panic when he felt as if he were going to drown, but he learned to ignore it.

 

It was an odd sensation, to be surrounded by icy cold water, but still be able to breathe. The time it took to fall unconscious varied from each time Hyungwon used the method; sometimes he was awake long enough to feel his fingertips and toes start to go numb. He didn't dare to allow himself to wonder whether or not it was just the cold, or the beginnings of the method failing before it fixed itself.

 

During his research he'd found stories of the extract failing the person experimenting. Holding them under the water in a determination to continue the process of projecting, but not being strong enough to prevent drowning. A death that was impossible to fight. The thought made him shudder. He prayed his luck wouldn't run out and leave him to that sort of fate. It hadn't yet.

 

 

 

 

Changkyun's hands fiddled with a hole in his jeans, legs crossed in front of him. He was sat on his bed in their most recent safe house, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, leaned against the wall. The window next to the bed gave a good view of the pouring rain outside; flashes of lightning lit up the room every now and then, and the walls shook from the thunder that followed.

 

It was cozy, despite the loudness from the storm raging outside. Footsteps sounded softly on the floorboards behind him, and he turned, glancing over his shoulder. Minhyuk walked into the room, a fond expression on his face as he crawled onto the bed beside the younger. He sat with his legs stretched out, shoulder pressed against the other's.

 

Changkyun pulled on the blanket, creating excess to wrap it around Minhyuk's shoulders as well. The elder mumbled a sleepy “thank you” and tucked it around himself. Thunder rumbled and Minhyuk let out a thoughtful hum. “You don't mind storms?” He asked.

 

“Nope. I think they're cool.” Changkyun replied. He glanced at the other and saw his eyes slowly shut. “You should go to bed.”

 

Minhyuk shook his head. “Shownu snores too loud; not even the thunder can cover that up.”

 

He laughed in reply, knowing exactly what Minhyuk was talking about. Shownu wasn't exactly the quietest sleeper, but he had grown used to it within the months they had spent together in Changkyun's world. “Wanna trade beds? We don't need you smothering him in the middle of the night.”

 

“Wonho already offered, but I figured I'd come bug you anyway.”

 

The younger chuckled, affection clear on his face. They'd been given the chance to get closer again while searching for Hyungwon; it was a bittersweet thing. Changkyun hated himself every time he thought they were lucky enough to have the spare time to readjust to each other's presence because he knew it was just because Hyungwon was missing. They both had insomnia, and often stayed up in the living room, the younger telling stories that would occasionally stir memories in Minhyuk's head.

 

When it came to the other members, they were all, at the very least, coping. Jooheon, Shownu, and Wonho had become the main masterminds of tracking Hyungwon down. With Jooheon's new knowledge of delphinium there was an idea floating around that they could attempt to use it as a tracking device after more research. Shownu and Wonho of course had the most experience, and took the lead.

 

Kihyun was the quietest out of all of them. When he would pipe up they were unusually accurate and useful suggestions, despite him being around for the least amount of time other than Jooheon, but he mostly kept to himself. Except when Jooheon wasn't busy, that is. The two were still as close as ever.

 

The Clan learned that when Kihyun disappeared into a room and drew the curtains and shut the door firmly to leave him alone. At least once a week, a migraine would set in and render him immobile. They had yet to figure out the cause, and it was worrying all of them. He constantly seemed exhausted and worn.

 

Research and trial and error had yielded results they were all openly bitter about. Shownu had realized that the organization had attached a tracker to Hyungwon, although they kept their word about not tracking the rest, and removing him from his world, or even getting near him, would set it off. Getting tangled with them again wouldn't do any of the Clan any good; he doubted they would pass up the chance to rid themselves of Hyungwon again.

 

This led to the conclusion that they would have to figure out how to disable Hyungwon's tracker before bringing him back. Luckily, Shownu had some knowledge of the trackers that the organization created, and had made some friends via people he helped escape from them, that were willing to help find information for them.

 

The process, of course, was still ongoing, much to the frustration of everyone involved. Changkyun sighed, pushing his legs out off the edge of the mattress, groaning as his back popped loudly. Minhyuk snorted at this, muttering something under his breath that the younger didn't quite catch. Thunder rumbled outside. After a small pause, Changkyun spoke up. “You know... the last time it stormed, I was terrified of them. I was losing my mind.” He laughed softly.

 

Minhyuk shifted to look at him properly, silently encouraging him to continue. “We were idiots. There were drills for the guards that day and we decided to go 'adventuring.' There's so many ruins where we lived and it wasn't the first time. You just wanted to get out of the neighborhood. The guards never liked you, I'm sure you remember that.”

 

The older scoffed at this in spite. “I figured.” Changkyun snorted in reply. “We went out to the other edge of the woods, opposite of the neighborhood. We hadn't gone that far before. As soon as we got to the center of the forest it started absolutely monsooning. It came out of nowhere, and then the thunder started. Luckily there wasn't any lightening. We found some house that no one was in and dried off and stuff.”

 

There was a small moment of silence. “And then out of the blue you walked straight past me and opened the door and just stood there in the middle of the rain. You were soaked instantly. I thought you had lost your mind.” He laughed.

 

Minhyuk merely smiled, too exhausted to pipe up. Changkyun fell silent, and the mood changed. Despite his best efforts, it was hard not to mourn the Minhyuk he used to know. Of course, he was grateful to no end that he still knew him, still had that privilege, but it was hard not to feel the weight of carrying the majority of their memories that Minhyuk didn't have.

 

Mentally, he scolded himself for the thought, and shifted closer to the elder. He was lucky, and no matter how much he wished Minhyuk remembered, he wouldn't have it any other way. Minhyuk was trying his best and that's what mattered; he could've called Changkyun crazy and up and left, but he didn't.

 

And Changkyun knew it had to be weighing on Minhyuk as well. The other always brushed the suggestion off any time the younger made a comment, but Changkyun knew him too well. He supposed he forgot that, too.

 

“Looking back now, I think you had lost your mind a little. You were always the logical protector between the two of us since we were kids. It was nice to see you carefree for once, laughing. We did have good times, we weren't always getting into trouble with the guards, of course. You know that. But... I don't know, there was something different. Since then, when it storms, that's what I think of. That's what I remember.” He fell quiet again after finishing the thought.

 

Yet all he got in response was complete silence. Changkyun glanced down and realized Minhyuk had fallen asleep, slumped against the wall, head lolling to the side. He exhaled, a quiet laugh, and shifted away from the older. With careful hands that had grown even shakier with the stress and tension of the recent months, he guided his form down onto the mattress and covered him with the blanket properly.

 

Lightening flashed and thunder rumbled, the rain outside growing more intense. Funnily enough, two universes aligned at once as Changkyun fell asleep on his makeshift bed on the floor next to where Minhyuk lay asleep, and Hyungwon slowly drifted out of consciousness, cold finding company in his bones.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops! It's been longer than I thought. Things have been busy for me, sorry about that. I'm gonna have to ask for patience once school starts in the first week of september but i should get into the swing of things after a couple of weeks. plus the plot's picking up, so i won't wanna leave cliff hangers for too long. thanks so much for reading! hope you enjoyed! (the chapters been edited but it's late for me considering i have the sleep schedule of a grandma so I'll go through and reread everything tomorrow. if there's any typos please excuse them for now lol)


	19. The Consequence

Chills slipped down Hyungwon's spine. Everything was cloudy. Unreal, almost. Instead of lifting as time passed, the fog only bore down on him more. The water shifted over the surface of his skin; silk pushing past him paying no regard to his form. When he opened his eyes the world around him had a silver-blue veil.

 

Placidity took cover his emotions, leaving him calm and motionless. His body felt weighted, leaving him unable to struggle even if he wanted to. Despite the ice cold water around him he didn't shiver, didn't move at all, and though the liquid around him was light and translucent, he didn't see anything beyond it. Stars began to glitter in his vision.

 

Vaguely, somewhere in the distance, he heard the traces of a voice he recognized, but couldn't place. The shape of a face unrecognizable hovered over the bathtub, glinting metal attached to the figure's chest flashed into his eyes. Hyungwon didn't flinch, though somewhere the thought of a city official's badge slipped through his mind. He watched passively as the figure moved away again.

 

Time passed until he heard a voice again. This one, he definitely recognized. _“Are you okay?”_ It asked. _“God, what did they do to you?”_

 

The world shifted and suddenly he was no longer in the cold, rusted bathtub, but instead sitting on a white cot he knew too well. Shownu was stood in front of him, concern and curiosity showing plainly on his face. He made no move to reply. _“Jesus Christ, it's worse than I thought.”_ Shownu sounded disgusted.

 

It was only when Shownu went to put a hand on his shoulder that he felt himself move involuntarily. His hand shot up to grab the other's wrist before he himself even realized what was happening. Slowly, deliberately, he looked up so he was staring into the his eyes. It was odd seeing Shownu in a white uniform.

 

 

Then, just as suddenly as the first time, everything tilted again and he found himself curled up in the recliner in the Clan's apartment. Yet, it was his body, not him. Hyungwon was stood near the wall, but somehow his figure was sleeping, resting exhausted in the overstuffed chair. He turned and noticed Kihyun stepping over other sleeping figures, carrying a blanket. When Kihyun reached the sleeping him he very carefully draped it over his body, straightening it so he was properly covered up.

 

 

Again, and Hyungwon was walking through the forest, Changkyun by his side. _“You really don't need to walk me home.”_ The youngest spoke softly. _“I'll be okay. The guards don't usually patrol here._ ”

 

Changkyun got silence in return. Hyungwon briefly noted how uncomfortable he felt in his own posture, and the glances Changkyun kept throwing him over his shoulder as they walked, his expression a combination of worry and wonder. Affection flooded his being before he fell again.

 

 

Coffee burned the tip of his tongue, pushed down his throat like fire through a hallway. His vision was obscured by a newspaper. He could only see the opposite corner of the neat cafe, and the table next to him. Minhyuk appeared looking worn. The unimpressed waiter began scrubbing at the surface of the table before he noticed the watch still laying on top of it. He picked it up and glanced around the space before rushing outside, searching for whoever had left it behind. Hyungwon turned his head ever so slightly so he could see out the windows facing the street and watched as Minhyuk's face paled, his gaze directed at the back of the watch.

 

Hyungwon folded the newspaper neatly, finished his coffee, and left a $50 tip tucked under the cup.

 

 

“I think we should get a pet. What about a dog?” Wonho asked, spinning in his desk chair.

 

Silence. “I've always wanted a pitbull. People always say they're mean dogs, but they're not. They used to be nicknamed the 'nanny dog.'”

 

“What about a Pomeranian? They're tiny.”

 

Finally, a response. “I prefer cats.”

 

Hyungwon may have missed the blinding grin Wonho gave him the first time, but he definitely didn't the second.

 

 

A hand gently touched his arm, and Hyungwon turned slowly to face the figure behind him. “Do you have any regrets?” They asked, head tilted as if they were genuinely curious about the answer. They were nearly shapeless, like a blue silk draped over a person, yet the fabric seemed to be shifting.

 

Hyungwon briefly glanced back towards the scene behind him; the Clan eating breakfast after he had left the apartment. He looked forward again. “Not a single one.” He replied softly.

 

 

Then, he was back in the bathtub. The cold grew more and more intense, sending sharp needles straight into his skin, digging into the bone. He remained still as his last breath fled his lungs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mini-chapter while I work on the actual chapter that follows. Think of it as a bonus "scene" that wasn't going to be included before. Thanks for reading!


	20. Eighteen

It was whisper quiet, and completely still. Snow had fallen in a thick blanket, muffling any sounds made in the area. With everyone in their houses fast asleep the peacefulness was distinct in the atmosphere; a welcome rarity. The sky was a pale gray dappled with slightly darker clouds, the moon's light reflected almost harshly.

A light breeze pushed against the plants and trees weighed down with snow, though the plants remained immovable. There was a simultaneous weight and lightness to the area that didn't go unnoticed by the pair moving through it. The evidence of their presence was quickly erased, their footsteps covered by more snow as they moved, as if the world disapproved of their interruption to the peace that was so hard to come by.

Freezing hands were rubbed together, clasped between others. Hot breath was blown, an attempt to thaw the painfully cramped fingers. Shownu tugged off his scarf and wrapped it around Changkyun's neck, bundling it so his bright red ears were covered by the warmer cloth. He brushed flakes that had gathered on the younger's shoulder off and put his arm around him, sticking close.

They trudged on despite the numbness that was starting to spread through their limbs. The pair had just departed from Changkyun's house; in this world, it wasn't his own, but unowned, and no guard was around to bother to question why they were there. If all went well, they wouldn't be around by the time they started to ask questions anyway.

Shownu almost regretted leaving the warm fire that had thawed his body and veins, but he didn't allow himself to linger on it long. They could get warm after they found Hyungwon. Priorities. Changkyun's nose has turned as red as his ears at this point, and he wouldn't have been surprised if he were told his own features looked the same way.

Initially, the others had been insulted and annoyed when Shownu had insisted that he and Changkyun were the only ones to find Hyungwon and bring him back. It hurt to disappoint them again, not unlike the way he had left them asleep, to put it kindly, with Jooheon in the safe house, and yet he knew it was better. Eventually, they had begrudgingly agreed.

It was easier to get around the world as two rather than six. Changkyun was a necessary guide, though he was torn with guilt at the fact that he was dragging the youngest back into a world that was the source of so much misery for him. Time and time again Changkyun reassured Shownu that he would rather go than be left behind, but that didn't stop the nagging voice of concern in the back of his mind.

They traveled in near silence except for warnings that came from the youngest about where traps could be placed in the woods. Shownu reached in his pocket and barely felt the paper that was tucked in it from how numb his hands were. He reread it. “Between two oaks across the field is where you can find me, sleeping with the dead.” The note had been left in Changkyun's house on the mantelpiece. 

Changkyun had recognized where Hyungwon was writing about immediately. Guards didn't go out that far often, and there was only one area where there were two notable oak trees. Apparently there used to be dead buried there, as well, though the government wouldn't know that. It was illegal to bury people in unmarked graves; you had to pay for a spot in a cemetery, no matter how poor you were. “He probably found a house out there that the government abandoned.” Changkyun had said.

They were so close to their destination when the younger quietly asked to take a rest. He looked pale despite the red flush across his face. Shownu exhaled deeply, wondering if leaving this late was a mistake. It was more subtle, yes, but his worry for Changkyun's health overrode any tactic he thought would be useful. “Should we turn around?” He asked quietly. It felt like a crime to speak in such a quiet environment.

Changkyun shook his head and pressed his gloved hands over his nose as he took a deep breath, trying to draw in warm air. He started forward again and Shownu was quick to follow. The faster they got there the faster they could get warm. 

Soon, a small cabin sitting between two tall, looming trees came into view. The prospect of seeing Hyungwon again pushed them to walk faster, their footsteps now making audible crunches that seemed to echo through the edge of the forest. An owl sat on a branch overhead, watching them with knowing eyes.

Changkyun stopped suddenly a couple yards from the door, eyes narrowed. “There's no smoke or steam coming from the chimney or the roof.” He announced softly, tilting his head to attempt to look through the windows.

Shownu's silence was questioning the statement. “Who the hell wouldn't be running some sort of heating on a night like this?” He explained. “Try not to make any noise as we go in. I feel weird about this.”

He let the younger lead yet again as the started forward. Luckily, after the months Shownu spent in similar conditions, he, too, was able to mostly hide the sound of his footsteps. They approached the door silently. Changkyun held up his hand to count down from three, then pushed the door open. 

Quick paces brought them inside into one of two rooms of the cabin. Shownu sighed. “He's not here.” He concluded after glancing over the space.

Changkyun nodded in agreement. They agreed to look through the few things scattered around the house to figure out where the other had gone. It was obvious the main area wouldn't take long to look through, so the younger made his way for the other room, glancing around.

Shownu sifted through a stack of papers and quickly realized that it had nothing to do with Hyungwon. They were probably left behind by a previous occupant. He heard a door creak open and footsteps against tile as he set the papers down and sighed. Then, a horrified shout from Changkyun.

Shownu was across the space in shorter time than he thought he could physically manage. Changkyun was backed against the wall next to the door staring into the room. Whether or not he was shivering or shaking, the older couldn't tell. He put a hand on the other's shoulder and looked into the room. It was hard to mistake legs hanging over the side of a rusted bathtub, and he didn't have a doubt in his mind of who they belonged to.

It took everything in Shownu to will himself to move, putting himself between Changkyun and the bathtub. His gloved hands tilted the younger's head up. “Look at me.” He spoke gently, his voice shaking despite his best efforts. 

Changkyun looked up, chest heaving. Most likely on the verge of a panic attack from what he could tell. “Go outside Changkyun. Find somewhere to sit.” He instructed him.

“I need- I need to know.” Changkyun stuttered out, swallowing harshly.

“It's not something you need to see. I'll tell you.” Shownu stated as firmly as he could, swallowing the acid that climbed in his throat. “Go outside, 'Kyun.”

Almost robotically, Changkyun listened. Shownu waited until his heavy footsteps shuffled outside before he took a deep breath. He closed his eyes, jaw tensing. Eyes still shut, he took hesitant steps forward. Clenching his hands into fists, he forced himself to ope his eyes. The sight confirmed what he knew from the moment he stepped into the room.

On autopilot, he rushed out of the room, then out of the house. His breath was coming in short, stinging huffs that didn't do anything to actually draw in oxygen. Changkyun looked up at him and the tears in his eyes, and knew immediately. The sound that came out of his mouth was weighted with pure grief as he buried his head in his hands.

 

It wasn't long before Shownu was holding Changkyun up next to a bush as he dry heaved. The older was fighting more tears from falling already, but seeing how violently Changkyun had reacted was only making things harder. The cold was getting to them, as if it hadn't been already, and the younger was exhausted emotionally and physically. They both were, but Shownu knew he had to be the stronger one.

It was foggy, how they got back to Changkyun's house. Shownu had to support Changkyun most of the way, practically carrying him the last part of the walk. It was impossible to tell when their crying trailed off and when it began again, but Shownu found himself wiping harshly at his cheeks as he threw wood into the fireplace.

In front of the flames, finally regaining feeling, it hit them with the weight of a ton of bricks. They leaned against each other, sobbing to the point of barely breathing. Consciousness flickered in and out as it pleased, leaving Changkyun leaning heavily against Shownu's side, barely sat up. The older pushed his hands underneath the other's head and back and gently laid him down on the mattress. 

Once again, despite everything, he felt himself defaulting into the older brother role. It was something he knew how to do. On autopilot, he unzipped Changkyun's coat, which was now doing more harm than good, and gently removed it from his sleeping body. His heavy sweater was barely damp, so it could stay. He tugged the younger's boots off and piled several blankets over his sleeping body.

Shownu told himself he was staying up to keep an eye on the fire. The truth was, he refused to close his eyes when he knew exactly what he would see every time. With the flickering flames as his only witness, he covered his mouth as he broke down completely. By morning, he would have to piece himself back together. To figure something out. That was his job; that was what he owed the others.

Outside, an owl hooted softly. 

 

No news like what Changkyun and Shownu were carrying was easy to break, and it became apparent as soon as they returned to the safe house where the rest of the group remained. The others knew as soon as they saw their faces and that Hyungwon was still missing that something was wrong, but none of them knew what was coming.

The day they announced what happened was indescribable. No one ate in the days following, and the entire apartment was silent. They didn't talk except for quiet reassurances, barely audible due to their hoarse voices and sore throats. 

Three days later, in the heavy silence of the evening, Jooheon spoke up. He and Shownu were the only ones sitting in the living room; the rest of the Clan had retreated to their rooms early, as they had the past three days. “I think I know how to fix this, but I don't want to get their hopes up.” His voice was croaky.

Shownu turned to him slowly. “What do you mean?” 

“You said the water had a bluish tinge. I don't think he did it on purpose. I think he was using delphinium extract. What for I haven't figured out, but...” He swallowed, tilting his head like he didn't want to think about what he was going to say. “I doubt you guys had the luck of finding him the same day... it happened. I think the delphinium is helping... preserve...” Jooheon didn't finish his statement, and instead pressed his lips together, shaking hands holding a mug of tea.

Shownu leaned forward with a loud sigh, his head in his hands. He didn't look up when he felt a hand on his back, but he definitely appreciated it. “Are you saying you can use the delphinium to reverse this?” He asked.

“Yes. I read over it briefly when I was researching because I was curious. I'd have to dig it up again, but this... it's dangerous. Something's gonna have to be sacrificed, and it's never obvious what it is.” 

“Of course not.” Shownu scoffed bitterly. “Don't worry, I'll-”

He was interrupted by Kihyun's quiet voice from the doorway. “I'll do it.”

The pair on the couch turned, startled and confused. “Kihyun-” Shownu attempted to protest, but was interrupted again. This time, Kihyun spoke to Jooheon. “It won't kill me, will it? You wouldn't have brought it up if the sacrifice would kill someone.”

Jooheon opened his mouth. His personal bias was fighting tooth and nail to make him change Kihyun's mind. But Kihyun was his own person, and a stubborn one at that, and Jooheon knew he couldn't do a thing. He swallowed his protests and worries and merely nodded. “Then I'll do it. Whatever it takes.” His words held finality that not even Shownu fought. “We can tell everyone in the morning. It's too important to keep from them, but everyone's exhausted right now. We'll talk tomorrow.”

 

The talk was filled with questions and tears, but they made it through without a major fight. Jooheon restarted his research that day, and it didn't take him long to figure everything out, being the unspoken genius of the group. He was in his element despite the situation, running around the apartment muttering about components he needed and grilling Shownu about the worlds he could get them from.

Jooheon's announcement that he was ready didn't come soon enough for the rest of the Clan, though the dread of returning to the house was evident on Shownu and Changkyun's faces. This time, all six of them were going, and Shownu was sure Minhyuk's company was the only reason he agreed to go back.

 

Silence returned as soon as they appeared in Hyungwon's world. It was still freezing, though the snow had lightened considerably, making the trek much easier. The backpacks each of them had evenly distributed the components Jooheon had gathered, and they made it to the cabin much faster than the first time around.

Changkyun refused to go back in. Minhyuk and Wonho were more than happy to keep him company outside, not wanting to see Hyungwon, but Shownu, Jooheon, and Kihyun were needed inside. The three stood without a word in the main room, avoiding looking at the cracked door that led to the back of the house. “It looks like he's dead, but he's not. It's just a really... convincing coma. I'm gonna go in and start. Kihyun, I'll call you in when it's ready.” And with a bravery that was hard to come by, he stepped forward into the room and shut the door softly behind him.

It was a more complicated ritual, something that Jooheon had never thought he'd need, and it took several hours before he was ready to call for Kihyun. The three outside came in for breaks from the cold; Shownu had managed to start a small fire in the crumbling fireplace, but they didn't linger. Jooheon's relayed explanation wasn't very reassuring. 

Eventually, the silence was broken once again. “Kihyun.” Jooheon said, voice low. The other looked up and nodded, giving Shownu a gentle pat on his leg before he stood. He followed Jooheon into the back room and fought the urge to run when he saw Hyungwon's pale body. “What do I do?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“I wish I were making this up, but you're gonna have to get in there. I'll pour the extract in and stay in case something goes wrong. You'll feel sick for a little, dizzy probably, and then you'll fall asleep. And then... we'll see.”

Kihyun, at that moment, wanted to scream at the universe. “If someone told me I'd be willing to sacrifice something for this guy to the point of holding his comatose body a year ago I would've fought them in the street.” He spoke dryly. Jooheon cracked a weak smile.

Seeing no reason to delay any longer, Kihyun stepped towards his friend. He stood patiently as the younger drew lines across his face and collarbones in different colors. Then, he put his foot in the tub. The water was like icicles climbing up his leg as it soaked into his pant leg. After a prompt from Jooheon, he shed his jacket, and lowered himself, careful not to jostle Hyungwon. “He's not actually dead.” Repeated in Kihyun's head as he fully submerged himself except for his head.

Jooheon poured in the extract and it was nearly instantaneous. It felt as if Kihyun had caught fire and been submerged in the Atlantic at the same time. He gasped for air, the oxygen having been knocked from his lungs. Then, all at once, it stopped, and he was left numb and heavy. His eyes drifted shut as his head lolled to the side, neck at an uncomfortable angle due to the tub. Before he lost consciousness, he swore he felt a hand grasp his, fingers threading through his own. Something shifted, and he was laying with his forehead against a warm neck. Then, he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to quickly apologize if this comes across as a rushed chapter. I really did want to do the All In mv portion of this justice (it remains my favorite mv of all time), but personally it was hard to write. After what happened last year with Jonghyun I've been much more sensitive towards the topic of suicide and the like, and even though Hyungwon didn't actually commit suicide in this, nor did he actually die, the idea of describing 1. Someone else I look up to in a somewhat similar situation, 2. Anyone in that situation, 3. The effects of something like that, and 4. Any scene actively describing the process of death is not only difficult, but nauseating. When writing fanfics I honestly do view the people I'm writing about more as characters than the actual people, but the "Put yourself in their shoes; how would they react" part of writing was extremely hard to do in this case. I never want to have to imagine the boys in pain like this so I really had to detach myself from the scenes, so I'm sorry if this came across as glossed over or low quality.
> 
> On a brighter note, I really really appreciate the sweet comments everyone has been leaving. Ya'll are so positive and kind I swear to god you're like the nicest people on this planet I'm so lucky. I promise this fic isn't going to be pure heartbreak!


	21. Nineteen

Somewhere, vaguely, Hyungwon heard quiet voices speaking. Soft enough he couldn't make out what they were saying, but loud enough he could almost place the owners'. There was something warm beside him; his arm was trapped by a weight. It was someone, he realized, as he felt breath fan over his skin.

Weighed down with sleep, he made an effort to turn his head to look at whoever it was. What felt like an elbow was digging into his rib cage, which caused him to attempt to shift away from the form next to him. No such luck. Hyungwon knew he should've been more concerned, but he felt the familiar ache of delphinium in his limbs that made him groggy and unable to react.

It was cold outside of the blankets they were under; a chill brisked over his features that was starting to properly wake him up. The numbness in his trapped arm was spreading up towards his shoulder. He groaned in annoyance, forcing his eyes open. It was Kihyun next to him, passed out, his hair tousled and damp. Seconds ticked by before realization set in and Hyungwon's eyes shot open; he was wide awake now. How the hell had Kihyun gotten there?

With careful movements Hyungwon managed to pull his arm out from underneath the other's head. He went to shake Kihyun's shoulder to wake him, but hesitated. Judging from their past decisions there was no way his questions would receive positive answers, and he could see from the dark circles and bags under Kihyun's eyes that told he hadn't slept properly in a while.

After taking a moment to decide, Hyungwon reached out anyway. He needed to know what happened. They could rest later, preferably in separate beds. Moving as gently as possible, he shook Kihyun's shoulder, only withdrawing his hand when he got a response. Said response came in the form of the other slapping his hand away and rolling onto his back, groaning in annoyance. “Kihyun, wake up.” He muttered, propping himself up on an elbow.

Kihyun sighed and rubbed his eyes. He dropped his hands to his side and turned his head to look at Hyungwon. When he opened his eyes he seemed to be looking past the other. His hands clenched into fists, but Hyungwon failed to notice. “How did you find me?” Hyungwon asked, his voice rough with traces of sleep.

“You know Hyunwoo has resources and connections. We figured out which type of world the organization put you in- okay, guessed- and went from there. It took a long time months and a lot of extra help.” Kihyun replied, his tone giving away discomfort. He sounded exhausted.

“Why are we... here, of all places? I don't remember anything except...” 'Except not waking up after using the delphinium' he thought, jaw clenching in realization.

“Yeah. You're probably gonna have to pay for therapy for all of us. Especially Changkyun.”

Hyungwon swore under his breath, guilt sending ice through his veins. It would take a lot to apologize for whatever they had found. “How am I here, then?” He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Jooheon's genius usage of delphinium. Apparently you can just... revive people if they're not too far gone. You were a special case; the delphinium you were in was... preserving you.”

“Something like that has to come with some sort of sacrifice.” Hyungwon's statement was met with deafening silence that gave him time to register the pure anxiety and panic on Kihyun's face. “Kihyun, look at me. What did it take?” His tone was a little louder now, a little sharper.

“I can't.” Kihyun breathed out, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth. “I can't see.”

 

If someone were to say that Hyungwon had been furious in the moment he'd realized what Kihyun had done, it would have been an understatement. It had taken everything in him not to yell at Kihyun, considering the other was panicking enough already, as much as he tried to hide it. They were both shaking as he helped Kihyun sit up, as both of their backs ached from laying in the bathtub, and they sat there while the shorter tried to regulate his breathing.

Kihyun slouched against Hyungwon's side. He'd avoided opening his eyes; he didn't want to face what he already knew. He'd ended up gripping Hyungwon's hand tightly, trying to ground himself as much as he could. The only sound in the room for the longest time was the ticking of a clock that was hung above the bed, and the faint sound of quiet talk in the living room. “I assume the others are here, then.” Hyungwon asked softly, almost afraid to speak.

Kihyun nodded slowly. “Let me know if you want to get up.” Hyungwon didn't want to push the other no matter how much he wanted to see the others; he knew it would just be more stress.

Ten more minutes ticked past, though it felt more like hours to the two. Finally, Kihyun detached himself from Hyungwon and moved to get out of the bed. His movements were as uncertain as expected; this launched the other into action as he paced across the room to help. Hyungwon carefully gripped his arm and led him towards the bedroom door.

He opened it slowly, pressing Kihyun to back up as it swung towards them. Then, with quiet steps, they continued out and into what appeared to be the living room. A fire was crackling in a stone fireplace towards their left, casting orange light onto the couch across from it and the people resting on it. 

Their figures caught the attention of Shownu, who was sitting on the couch talking to Jooheon. He cut off mid sentence and paused, staring. Relief washed over his features at the sight of Hyungwon, but his expression quickly changed to confusion when he saw how tight he and Kihyun were holding onto each other, and how Kihyun was brushing his hand over the wall. Eyebrows crept together, he spoke, “Kihyun?” Was all he said, a thousand questions unspoken.

Kihyun drew in a breath in slight surprise and turned his head turned slightly towards the couch. Jooheon looked up at his best friend's name before launching himself from his sitting position and crossing the room, pulling the both of them into a hug. If Hyungwon didn't start at this, then Kihyun definitely did.

Hesitantly, Jooheon released them and stepped back. He looked Kihyun over carefully, obviously confused by his wandering, unfocused eyes. “We've got a lot of explaining to do.” Kihyun announced into the silence.

 

The sound of Hyungwon shouting drew the rest of the Clan into the living room. He had finally given in and had begun, for lack of a better word, scolding the others for their decision. He was furious that they had even considered sacrificing themselves for him, and even went through with it. It took several minutes before his ranting was cut off by Kihyun, who had been sitting nearby silently. “Aren't you being hypocritical?” He asked quietly.

Hyungwon stopped and turned. His pause cued Kihyun to start speaking. “All of this started because you were willing to make sacrifices for us. You're the last person who can lecture me- us -about stupid sacrifices.” The air was somewhat tense as Kihyun continued. “I didn't climb in that bathtub because I thought it would be an easy fix to bring you back. I got in there after accepting the fact that I may never wake up. It's something you've done a thousand times just to try and get us one more day in life. You've given us more than we can ever repay, and vision or not, if you try to claim that it's stupid, I will kick your ass. You're worth a lot more than you give yourself credit for.”

The air was empty after Kihyun finished speaking; it became obvious that he had said everything that was on the Clan's minds. Hyungwon exhaled shakily, turning away from the rest of the group and pressing a hand to his forehead. After a second his shoulders began to shake, sending Changkyun flying across the room to hug him.

The grip Hyungwon had on Changkyun's shirt turned his knuckles white. He released a shaky exhale into the fabric that rested on the younger's shoulder, appreciative of the hand that rested on his back, steadying him. The younger pulled away far enough to pull his sleeves over his palms and push the tears from Hyungwon's skin, his own eyes watery.

Soon enough, everyone had drawn him into a tight hug, each having to try their best not to cry, though they all failed. Enough was said in the words Kihyun had spoken that no one else felt the need to say anything, except for the tearful, “I missed you,” Wonho mumbled into Hyungwon's shoulder

From the corner of the couch Shownu checked his watch and announced, “Kihyun and you should probably go back to bed. Jooheon said it's not a good idea for you guys to be apart for very long right now and both of you look exhausted.” 

Kihyun nodded in agreement, slowly rising from the couch. Without another word, Hyungwon stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him across the room back towards the door they'd emerged from earlier. He helped him to his side of the bed, making sure the other was sitting safely on the mattress before crossing around to the other side of the room.

While Hyungwon immediately reclined against the pillows, Kihyun remained sitting up, his head tilted towards the floor. The tenseness from earlier had mostly dissipated, but there was still the heaviness of something left unsaid keeping them company. They both could feel a headache forming. “I'm sorry for snapping.” The taller announced quietly.

Kihyun sighed and turned his head towards the other in acknowledgment. “I don't blame you. I've wanted to do the same thing a couple of times. We're all idiots with no sense of safety.”

There were several shouts of agreement from the crowd in the living room that caused the pair to give amused laughs. Kihyun finally moved to lay down, his actions slow and cautious. Hyungwon watched him in the low light of the bedside lamp, every bit worried that he knew everyone else was. “I can feel you staring. I'm not made of glass.” 

He let out a surprised breath before averting his eyes, turning instead towards the dusty bookshelf leaned against the wall opposite of the bed. Kihyun pulled the blankets over his body, shivering slightly at the chill the cold fabric brought. After a moment, Hyungwon turned out the light and followed suit. 

One by one, the voices in the living room quieted until the house was silent. The occasional quiet shuffle told them someone had stayed up, probably to tend the fire. Outside, raccoons chattered eagerly. Hyungwon didn't have a doubt in his mind that Changkyun had thrown them food. One last time, the silence was broken, “I don't regret what I did, 'Won, so don't do it for me. Focus on staying safe, instead.”

 

Later that night, when Hyungwon awoke to cold feet pressed to his calves and a cold nose against his shoulder, he didn't complain. Instead, he pulled the blankets higher over Kihyun's sleeping form, pushed his hair away from his face, and resettled. Kihyun eyebrows creased slightly in his sleep before he sighed and relaxed back into the mattress.

 

Morning light filtered through the living room window past the drawn curtains, providing a red tinted light due to the rising sun. Jooheon had been the one to pull back the fabric; he was fond of taking advantage of the peace that came from dawn. Changkyun had risen to help him light the fire in the fireplace to warm up the house before everyone else emerged from their rooms. Minhyuk had awoken as soon as the youngest had stirred and had wandered out, a blanket around his shoulders.

The three of them had ended up piled on the couch together, Minhyuk leaning against Jooheon, Changkyun's head resting against Minhyuk's folded legs. Minhyuk lightly brushed his fingertips up and down the youngest's arm, attempting to soothe him back to sleep. None of them slept very well anymore; the idea of one of them getting a full night's rest was laughable at this point.

Jooheon clutched a mug of tea between his cold hands, warming his palms. Eyes still closed as he spoke to no one in particular, he said, “We should've known better. Now that I think about it.”

“What?” Changkyun mumbled sleepily.

“We were in a rush so I didn't really pay attention, but part of the notes about the ritual said, 'Love is blind.' I should've guessed what was going to happen.”

Minhyuk sighed. “It doesn't really matter at this point. We were expecting a lot worse, and no one regrets the decision. Least of all Ki'”

“I know, but it would've been better, I think. To know what was coming. I don't know what I'd do if I were in his shoes.”

“It's a good thing you're not, then.” Said a quiet voice from the doorway.

Kihyun stood, looking lost despite the joking smile on his face. His hand was pressed to the corner of the wall, eyes searching for a room he couldn't see. He took a careful step forward, arm held out to detect anything he might run into. Minhyuk moved to get up and help him, but Jooheon grabbed his arm and shook his head. He knew how stubborn Kihyun could be; he was known for rejecting help no matter how badly he needed it.

“I guess it doesn't matter.” Minhyuk picked the conversation back up. “We all would've made the same choice. It was him that we cared about, not what we were gonna lose.”

Changkyun nodded in agreement. Minhyuk smoothed the blanket out over the younger's body and brushed pieces of hair from his face before he rested his hand on Changkyun's shoulder. Kihyun nearly tripped, his foot catching on the rug as he moved towards the sound of Minhyuk's voice. At the same time Jooheon moved to help him, Hyungwon burst into the room.

He looked half asleep and rumpled, his eyes wide in anxiety. When he spotted Kihyun, it seemed he started breathing again. With a sharp exhale, he appeared to fold in upon himself, running his hands through his hair. “I woke up and you were gone and I thought... I thought it had been a dream.”

Kihyun turned to face the direction Hyungwon's voice came from, a saddened expression on his face. Everyone seemed to feel the heaviness of that statement. Hyungwon sighed and crossed the living room. He put a hand on Kihyun's arm and guided him to the sofa across from the couch, falling into it with a weary breath, whereas Kihyun more hesitantly sank into the fabric. “Where are we?” Hyungwon asked quietly.

“Still in your world, but we moved houses. 'Kyunnie's been spending too much time around Wonho and Shownu, he faked some government papers and managed to get us somewhere nicer than... well, anywhere we've been before.” Minhyuk answered.

Hyungwon nodded slowly in acknowledgment, chewing at his thumb nail absentmindedly. “Do we have a plan yet?” 

Jooheon shook his head. The elder pressed his lips together and rubbed his temples. “I'll figure something out.” His voice was croaky, as if the effort of speaking hurt his throat.

“Let's plan for breakfast, first. We have stuff like eggs, but there's still not much. We've got plenty of SPAM, though.” Jooheon spoke wryly.

Changkyun groaned at this, like he was physically pained by the thought of having to eat SPAM again. Minhyuk patted his back before encouraging him to sit up. “Let's go. If anyone can make this edible, we can.” And with that, the two reluctantly departed for the kitchen. 

Hyungwon, exhausted, allowed himself to drop his head to Kihyun's shoulder. It seemed like even if he slept for years he'd never rid himself of the tired weight that dragged him down. Kihyun found the form now pressed against him reassuring; it was a good way to ground himself. “Where are Shownu and Wonho?” Hyungwon asked quietly.

“Asleep still. They've earned a rest. We all have.” Jooheon replied.

No one could disagree with that. The only noise that disrupted the silence in the following hour was from the kitchen. Kihyun dozed off and on, his head leaning back against the couch cushions, and Hyungwon found himself too drowsy to speak; Jooheon had left to join the two in the kitchen soon after their conversation.

Eventually, Wonho stumbled out of the back room where he had been sleeping and flopped onto the couch, mumbling a barely decipherable “good morning” to Hyungwon and Kihyun. He received two sleepy responses, equally as indecipherable. Footsteps signaled someone else entering the living room; Hyungwon cracked an eye open to see Jooheon setting down three plates of eggs and hash. Hyungwon leaned forward and grabbed two. He set his on his lap and wrapped his hand around Kihyun's wrist, lifting it. Kihyun flattened his palm, into which Hyungwonon set the plate.

They ate quietly, and if Kihyun could tell that Hyungwon would push food back onto his plate whenever it looked like it was about to fall, he didn't say. After a little while, Shownu made his way into the living room. He promptly layed directly on Changkyun, who was sat on the floor and groaned in pain and attempted to shove him off (and failed, much to Shownu's amusement).

After everyone had finished breakfast, Wonho brought up the subject no one wanted to discuss. “So what are we going to do? We can't stay here forever, the government's gonna figure out we lied soon enough.”

Jooheon sighed. “I don't think we can travel to another world so soon. It'll probably mess with the ritual and I'm sure that's something none of us want to be reversed.”

Noises of agreement were echoed from around the room. Changkyun, who was still subtly trying to wrestle Shownu off of him, spoke up, “I might be able to get us a camper so we can get out of the city faster. The thing is no one from here really knows anything about what's outside the city limits, so my knowledge's practically useless once we're out of here.”

“There has to be more towns and cities, right? There's no way this is the only place left in the world, or even in this region.” Minhyuk chimed in.

“Well, before this whole fiasco, when Changkyun was still in his version of this hellhole, I did some research on-” Shownu was promptly interrupted by Wonho's disapproving voice.

“What did you steal?”

“Maps.” He promptly replied. “The government keeps archives. Apparently there's towns a couple hours out from the farmland. I couldn't find much information on them, seems like everyone in charge wants to keep the area completely isolated. Changkyun and I can get supplies and we can try finding one of the other towns, if everyone agrees it's a good idea.”

“Staying here isn't really an option. Seems like it's the best choice.” Kihyun stated quietly.

Quiet murmurs of agreement came from everyone once again. “Looks like we have a plan, then. Let's get ready to leave soon, 'Kyun.” Shownu said, getting to his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's already been a month since I've last updated yeesh. Updates are probably gonna be like this from now on unfortunately. I'm currently going from Geometry to Trig so that's a whole thing, and because it's winter I'm dealing with exhaustion issues. Luckily though the plot is getting less monotonous and this should be wrapping up somewhat soon, which brings me to my next topic. What would ya'll think of a new fic with an extremely similar plot to the drama Bring It On, Ghost? I'm not sure what ship I'd do, but I think it'd be interesting to write. Would ya'll read it? Also holy shit MX's comeback killed me. Won with white hair and Kyun with an eyebrow piercing was a Look. Altho let's be real all of it was a look. I'm so proud of them. (And wonho for breaking that music bank trophy right after they got it that's some shit I'd do). Anyway, happy Halloween everyone! Love ya'll.


	22. Let’s talk

So, it’s obvious I haven’t updated in a while. Originally, this was due to school, then seasonal depression made me its bitch, and now that I’m motivated, of course my laptop charger is MIA. since my laptops dead that means I don’t have access to any of the stuff I’ve worked on because I used open office. I’ve actually been considering fully rewriting this fic. I feel like it’s more rushed than I want it to come across and there wasn’t enough time spent building up the characters. Now, there’s two options and I want yalls opinions. Should I 1. Just pick up where I left off and end the fic in possibly a couple chapters or 2. Rewrite the entire thing and make it better, more intricate. If I were to rewrite this I would probably set up a schedule to put out a chapter every two weeks. My goals (notice that I didn’t say “it will be” lol I can’t make promises especially since I start college this year) would be for each chapter to be 3k< words and have the entire thing be around 30-40 chapters. Also, if I rewrite this should I leave the original (this copy) up for those of you who really don’t wanna read the new version but might want to reread this at some point? What do you guys think? Thank you so much for the patience, love you guys.


	23. Rewriting!

This fic is being rewritten under another title “In Time.” which you can find on my profile. Thank you for the love so far and I hope to see you there. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback would be appreciated, as I'd love to know what I'm doing right and wrong with this entire thing, and what people would like to see changed. If you spot any grammatical or spelling errors, do point them out so I can edit it. Always open to constructive criticism.


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